Wednesday, January 11, 2012

JOKE: Sarah Palin was invited to speak

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Sarah Palin was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation. She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living should she one day become the first female President.
At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the ex-Governor with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud ex-Governor then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs how they had come to select the new name given to the Senator. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly!

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Judge Judy Made Her Do It

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A 62-year-old woman was arrested Sunday morning after she hit a 65-year-old man on the head with a hammer, police say.

Janet Knowles, of Jupiter, Florida was arrested on a charge of aggravated battery using a deadly weapon.

Jupiter Police responded to the defendant's house around 11:30 a.m. Sunday after dispatchers received a call of a domestic disturbance.

When police arrived, they interviewed the alleged victim - who was not named in the probable cause affidavit - while he held bloody paper towels on his head.

The victim told police he was watching "Judge Judy" on television while sitting on his recliner, when Knowles got "upset with Judge Judy," the affidavit says.

Knowles then hit him in the head with a hammer and the victim received a "large cut" to his head and left forearm.

He was treated at the scene by Palm Beach County Fire Rescue crews.

Knowles told police she was upset because Judge Judy was on television. She became "mad" and then hit the victim on the head with the hammer.

Knowles also began talking about a neighbor and what a neighbor was wearing, the affidavit says.

Police said Knowles could not hold a conversation with them during the investigation.

The affidavit does not say what the relationship between Knowles and the victim is.

Knowles is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail without bond.