the Captain and the Camel

A very respected Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out behind the enlisted men's barracks.
He asked the sergeant leading the tour, "Why is a camel tied to the barracks?"
The sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from any where, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do... uh... we have the camel."
The Captain said, "Well, I suppose if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been stationed at the fort for six long, lonely months, the Captain simply couldn't control his sexual angst any longer. He barked to his sergeant, "BRING THE CAMEL INTO MY TENT!"
The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders, looked at the other men, and led the camel into the Captain's quarters.
Within a few minutes, the Captain emerged from his tent, fastening his trousers, almost beaming with pride. "So, Sergeant, is that how the enlisted men do it?" he asked.
The sergeant replied, "Well sir, usually they just ride it into town."

the Microsoft Waiter

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[The waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00