Saturday, April 3, 2010

VIDEO: Kenny Easterday..Half a Man

I hope you are counting your blessings today and everyday .. if the attitude is gratitude, life is good

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Meet 35-year-old Kenny whose body ends at his waist and who walks on his hands. Kenny has had no lower body since his legs had to be amputated when he was a child - but has always refused to use a wheelchair or prosthetics. Neither has Kenny let his extraordinary body stop him finding love, working or looking after his fianc�'s children. Kenny's deepest desire as he approaches middle age is to father his own child. He and his fianc� Nicky have always suspected he might be the biological dad to one of her two children and in this film Kenny has a DNA test to find out if he is.

Premieres Sunday on TLC, April 4 at 9 PM ET/PT

VIDEO: 160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes

Twas The Day Before Easter

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Twas the day before Easter and all through the woods,
The bunnies were busy packing their goods.
The eggs were all colored so pretty and bright,
All things were "go" for the big, special night.

The baskets were waiting, all decorated with care,
In hopes that the Bunny soon would be there.
My little brother Sam was asleep in his bed,
While visions of Easter eggs rolled round his head.

And I in my pajamas with the cat on my lap,
I had just settled down for a quick little nap.
When outside the window I heard a great noise,
I sprang from my chair and jumped over some toys.

As quick as a flash to the window I flew,
I pulled up the shade and , OH, what a view.
The moon on the meadow cast a bright golden glow
And the wind blew the flowers to and then fro.

Then all of a sudden from out of nowhere,
Came some lively bunnies, hopping here, hopping there!
Leading the group with ears long and funny
Was a plump all-white rabbit...
That's right...the EASTER BUNNY!

The bunnies hopped past, one, two , three, four,
The rabbit called out and then there were more.
"Come Peter! Come, Flopsy! Come, Benny! Come, Joe!
Now hop along! Hop along! Hop along! GO!"

So up on each doorstep the bunnies did hop,
With baskets of eggs. (Let's hope they don't drop)!
Just at that moment, on the porch down below,
Came the stomping of feet 'Twas the rabbit I know!

As I stepped from my window I heard a loud sound.
Through the door came the rabbit with a leap and a bound.
He was furry and soft from his head to his feet.
To see him so close was really quite neat.

He was surrounded by eggs that had been carefully dyed.
Easter eggs galore he soon would hide.
His eyes were all twinkles, His nose was so pink,
And I can't be too sure but I think he did wink.

He had a kind face and a big fluffy tail
That bobbed up and down like a boat with a sail.
A twitch of his nose and a flick of his ear
Was his way of saying "You've nothing to fear"

He uttered no sound as he hopped all about,
Hiding the eggs and leaving no doubt,
That the Easter Bunny had come like he does every year...
Bringing baskets of happiness to children so dear

JOKE: Little Johnny and the Vibrator

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A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says, "Alligator."

"Very good, that's a big word."

The second boy says, "Predator."

"Yes, that's another big word. Well done."

Little Johnny says, "Vibrator, Miss."

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything."

"Well my Dad knows a lady named Nancy that has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"

the only lawyer in Wisconsin with just one name. He's Mitch.

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Not Mitch something, or something Mitch. Just Mitch.

Since 1997, Mitch is the man's legal name, even in the legal game.

"I'm on a first-name basis with everyone," he jokes, though he doesn't really think of Mitch as a first or a last name.

"It's like a unisex T-shirt. It's not male or female. It's both at the same time," Mitch said. "If I say it's both my first and last, if I give in to that at all, I get a ton of mail addressing me as Mitch Mitch. It's horrible to me. It sounds like a stutter."

For nearly two years, Mitch has been an instructor at the University of Wisconsin Law School. And he's the founder of Community Justice, a nonprofit law firm in Madison that provides legal representation to low-income people on housing, family, employment and other issues.

When I heard about Wisconsin's answer to Sting, Bono, Sinbad and Plato, I had to ask Mitch about his name.

"It's unfortunately not the happiest story," the 32-year-old said. "I was orphaned. My folks both passed away, my father when I was very young, and my mother when I was a young teenager."

On top of that, his father had reached adulthood before stumbling on the fact he was adopted.

"So the name - my birth name or given name - didn't go anywhere. I didn't feel a connection to it based on any sort of lineage that I could trace back anywhere," he said.

So after graduating from high school in Sparta and reaching adulthood, he went to court and changed his name to Mitch. He had to swear he wasn't doing so to commit fraud or run from the law. He even had his birth certificate changed.

I know Mitch's old name, but he said he would prefer if I didn't tell the world. One strong clue is that Mitch was a nickname based on his former surname. If you want to know more, you have to buy him a beer, he said.

"To me, it was about fit. Mitch fits, but not for some sort of stage presence. It's 100% of the time who I am."

The State Bar of Wisconsin has no record of any other lawyer practicing under a single name, though I've always been amused by those commercials for local personal injury attorney Barry Cymerman where he says, "My clients call me Barry."

Bar spokesman Tom Solberg said he skimmed through the list of 23,000 members. "Mitch certainly stood out when I came across his name," he said.

UW's expert guide referred to him as "Mitch (no last name)" Mitch didn't like the way that sounded, so now it says Mitch followed by a comma and an underscore because computers usually insist that both name fields are filled in. In parentheses it adds, "Full name is Mitch." Sometimes he goes by Mr. Mitch.

Unless you're a famous rapper, a single name can cause hassles when you, say, book a hotel room over the telephone. Once when ordering phone service, Mitch had to wait out the uncontrolled laughter of the representative on the other end of the line. When Mitch appeared as an attorney in a rural Wisconsin county, the judge was suspicious and made a formal record that he had examined Mitch's driver's license and Bar card and was satisfied that was his entire name.

"I only know one Mitch," said Dane County Circuit Judge Patrick Fiedler, who first met the law student when Mitch served as his clerk. The professor who sent him over wrote to the judge, "Yes, that's right, just one name."

"After that, it was no big deal," Fiedler said. "He was a very good intern."

It's rare that a student will ask about his name. Maybe they have enough to worry about just getting through law school.

If Mitch ever wanted to add a second name, he had an excellent opportunity when he married Leah Johnson in 2006. But he took a pass on becoming Mitch Johnson. If children come along, they will take Johnson as a last name.

He has a brother and a sister who have not changed their names. His brother still slips sometimes and calls him by his old first name.

Mitch said he has no regrets about taking a name to capture his inner Mitchiness. It helped him realize his own identity more fully, but didn't turn out exactly as he intended. I'll let him tell it.

"I've heard assumptions that you're hiding the name, or that your parents must hate you or you must hate your parents. Nothing could be further from the truth. They did a great job. Unfortunately, cancer took them both from me.

"When I changed my name, I foolishly thought as one of the motivations that I'd be able to avoid questions about family that I had lost and that was difficult to address at the time. I really didn't give much thought to the fact that just having one name would actually make people question me more.

"In a sense, it's sort of like getting a tattoo. It's a decision made when somebody is young and didn't necessarily think through all the consequences. It seems like absolutely the perfect thing.

"And I suppose like a tattoo, I could reverse it. But it would be painful."

California surfer receives whale of an escort during marathon paddle

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When Southern California surfer Jodie Nelson set out Sunday to standup-paddle nearly 40 miles from Santa Catalina Island to Dana Point, she hoped it'd inspire her best friend, who has been involved in a long and exhausting struggle with breast cancer, to keep fighting.

Nelson, 34, whose mother and aunt are cancer survivors, also hoped her nine-hour test of endurance would raise money for two cancer charities and heighten awareness about a plight affecting millions of women.

What Nelson could not have known was that a 30-foot minke whale would swim alongside her 14-foot board and accompany the surfer as she stood and paddled for two of those nine hours, thus joining the cause.

"It was a day that all of us involved will never forget," Nelson said, in reference to Angela Robinson, her best friend, and the rest of a crew aboard an escort boat.

Minke whales are not commonly seen off Southern California, and those spotted by boaters are often elusive. So when a mammal Nelson named Larry joined her endeavor to become the first woman to make this long paddle, she took it as a sign.

"To me it was a total God thing," the San Clemente resident said. "We prayed at 4 that morning that God would reveal his beauty and creation and nature, and allow me to endure this long trek, so for me it's not such a huge surprise that this happened."

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Larry did not merely swim close to Nelson. He rolled around repeatedly alongside her and blew bubbles beneath her board. A film crew was on the escort boat and CNN, Fox News and ABC are just some of the networks she says are interested in the story and footage.

Alisa Schulman-Janiger, an American Cetacean Society whale researcher, said minke whales can be friendly but added: "This type of quality encounter is highly unusual."

Nelson raised only about $6,000 in advance of the paddle, disappoingtingly short of her target of $100,000 for the Keep a Breast Foundation and Boarding for Breast Cancer. A few of her celebrity friends let her down, she said, but when this story reaches a national audience she expects the pool to grow considerably.

"I thought, 'I don't need so-and-so,' " she said of a particular celebrity, whom she declined to name. "Because I honestly feel like Larry is going to help us reach the $100,000 mark with our fundraising effort."

Larry or no Larry, completing a standup paddle over 39.8 miles of ocean and sharks speaks volumes about Nelson's strength, stamina and determination.

Larry took her mind off the task for two magical hours, but her mind never strayed from the cause. "I can't even begin to compare what I did to what cancer patients are going through," she said. "But I wanted to put myself out there in a dangerous and scary, overwhelming situation; something that was big and just to show people that you can win that battle with that big, scary thing called cancer.

"I wanted to draw some kind of parallel and just encourage people to keep fighting."

JOKE: A panic-stricken golfer called the clubhouse from his cell phone

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A panic-stricken golfer called the clubhouse from his cell phone. "Help! I hit a terrible slice off the seventh tee. My ball went out of bounds and hit a man riding a motorcycle who lost control and swerved into the path of a truck. The truck jackknifed and rolled over, spilling a load of beehives, releasing millions of bees. They're stinging everyone on the course! It's awful! What should I do?" The pro answered, "Well, first, keep your arms straight and get your right hand more under the club..."

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