Friday, June 11, 2010

JOKE: CHINESE LAUNDRY PROBLEMS

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A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done
at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and
put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled
clothes:
"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
When she got the clean laundry back she was still
dissatisfied with the results, so the following week
she enclosed another note:
"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her
clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from
HIM:
"I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!"
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VIDEO: Basketball Player Mistakenly Punches Referee

Man stuck under furnace for days tried to amputate his own arm

Jonathan Metz was on the wet floor of his basement for two days, his left arm wedged under a furnace.

He was in and out of consciousness, but Metz, 31, knew what he had to do.

He had to cut his arm off.

Metz's arm was decaying from a lack of blood flow, going into a "gangrenous state," Dr. Scott Ellner, a trauma doctor at St. Francis Hospital and Medical Center, said Thursday. The infection couldn't be allowed to spread.

"It was the right thing to do," Ellner said. "This man saved his own life."

Ellner and another trauma doctor spoke during the press conference at St. Francis, where Metz was brought at 4:30 p.m. Wednesday. He had been trapped in his basement for nearly three days before a concerned friend summoned police.

Metz had almost succeeded in cutting off his left arm below the shoulder, Ellner said; his rescuers had to complete the amputation. Doctors were not able to reattach the limb. They hope he can be fitted with a prosthetic arm.

Metz wasn't well enough to talk to reporters Thursday, but he has been alert and talking since his arrival at the hospital, staff members said. He still needs surgery that will include skin grafts, said Ellner and Dr. David Shapiro, Ellner's partner on the trauma team.

Metz was trying to replace a part on his furnace when the accident happened Sunday. Ellner declined to speak in detail about his patient's ordeal, but said Metz was in a low position, close to the basement floor.

He was able to drink some of the water that had leaked out of the boiler onto the basement floor, Ellner said.

By the second day, Metz knew his left arm was in bad shape. It began to smell, he later mentioned to the doctor.

He managed to put a tourniquet around his arm, and using whatever tools were within reach, he started cutting. He managed to cut through most of his arm, except for some fat, Ellner said.

"He's a young, healthy guy," Ellner said. "His strength is just so inspiring." Ellner said he never saw anything like this in his more than 10 years as a doctor.

Said Shapiro, "It's inspiring to see someone take their life into their own hands, quite literally."

Metz's friend, Luca DiGregorio, is the person who brought rescuers to Metz's house on Taylor Road.

DiGregorio and Metz are on a softball team, but Metz hadn't shown up at Tuesday night's game. DiGregorio grew more concerned the next day, when a co-worker of Metz's sent him an e-mail saying Metz hadn't been at work.

DiGregorio drove to Metz's Taylor Road house Wednesday afternoon and saw Metz's car outside. He rang the doorbells and called Metz's phone number, but there was no response. And Metz's beagle, Portia, was "yipping at the back door," DiGregorio said. He called 911.

Police responded to Metz's house and found him, conscious, in the basement. They summoned firefighters, who spent about 25 minutes dismantling Metz's furnace, said West Hartford Fire Department Battalion Chief Matt Stuart.

Neighbors said they didn't hear any screams or see anything at the house during the week to cause concern.

That changed late Wednesday afternoon, when DiGregorio showed up at Metz's house and paced for about 15 minutes, neighbors said. A policeman rushed to his patrol car for a medical kit. Fire trucks arrived, one after another, and medics urgently told neighbors they needed as much ice as possible. The rescuers later washed their gear of what the neighbors assumed was blood, they said.

Metz left in an ambulance driven by another neighbor who is a paramedic.

Metz is a quiet bachelor who has lived in the neighborhood a few years, the neighbors said. His family lives in North Carolina.

He works a late shift at Travelers Insurance in Hartford Connecticut and sometimes is seen walking Portia late at night, a neighbor said.

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