Wednesday, November 30, 2011

JOKE: A priest and a nun went golfing

One fine afternoon, a priest and a nun went golfing. The priest teed up his ball, swung, and missed completely. "Damn! I missed!" yelled the priest.

The nun was shocked and said, "Father, please. Your language."

"I'm sorry, sister. It won't happen again." On the eighth hole, the priest teed up his ball, swung, and again missed completely.

"Damn! Missed again!"

"Father, please! Your language."

"I'm sorry, sister. If I say it once more, may lightning strike me dead!" On the 18th tee, he teed up for the last time, swung, and missed again.

"Damn! I ... " but before he could finish, a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, shot down out of heaven, and struck the nun dead. A deep voice rocked the heavens,

"Damn! I missed!"

GOT CAPTION? 12/1

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 12/1 v.2.0

Photobucket

VIDEO: Greatest Reporter Sign Off Ever

JOKE: Magic Moment

Photobucket
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....
Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been gentler.'
Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off '

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

VIDEO: News Anchor Bloopers 2011 Compilation

VIDEO: Man "intentionally" drove $2.2 million Bugatti Veyron into lake. Do you wonder why car insurance is so high?



This video has been around for awhile and I've seen it a number of times and I, of course, wondered about it. It's quite clear the man drives directly into the lake without hesitation; without any apparent reason.Today I came across this bit of info that, when all is put together is quite interesting and at the very least, in the hands of a capable lawyer spells insurance fraud.

Photobucket

A Texas court may soon decide if the man who drove his Bugatti Veyron into a lake was committing fraud after his insurance company claimed he crashed the car on purpose to collect $2.2 million in insurance money. Wait, it wasn't a low-flying pelican? You don't say.
Andy House was driving along a highway in Galveston, Texas on November 12, 2009 when, for some reason, he drove his car into some water, destroying the million-dollar exotic car. At the time the man claimed to reporters, and to us, that this was because of the reflection of a low-flying pelican he saw after dropping his cellphone.

"I had dropped my phone, people dont know what happened," House told us adding "What it appeared to been was a reflection."

Unbeknownst to House, the accident was filmed by passerby Joe Garza. The video didn't seem to show a low-flying pelican.

"it's unusual that you have video of a car crash" said Attorney David Miller, who is representing the insurance company. "It's wonderful that a jury will be able to actually look at the sequence of events"

The car was later towed away and eventually resold, which was the last we'd heard about it until now.

Since the accident House occasionally reached out to us regarding various exotic-related business, including his apparent purchase of a replacement Veyron and a critique of a Bugatti fender-bender in Chicago (he called the guys who did it a "BUNCH OF DOUCHE BAGS!").

While this all was going on the company that insured the Veyron, Philadelphia Indemnity Insurance Company, was investigating whether it should pay the claim on the car, which they admitted in a court filing they'd insured for a ridiculous $2.2 million.


Why is it ridiculous? According to their own research, a man named Lloyd Gillespie loaned House $1,050,000 interest-free for the car. That's roughly half the value.

Oh, but the fun doesn't end there. Philadelphia also makes a case that the car was destroyed on purpose to collect the insurance money. They say there was no evidence of a low-flying pelican, that House let the car run for 15 minutes while submerged (his excuse was he was "being bitten by mosquitos" ), and that there was no sign he attempted to brake or skid to avoid anything.

Most dramatically, they claim a "confidential informant" came forward to report House had tried to get someone to destroy the vehicle.

The confidential informant stated that Mr. House offered to pay him money to steal the car and burn it making the disappearance of the vehicle appear to be a theft so that Mr. House could obtain the insurance money. However, apparently Mr. House instead drove the car into the lagoon without the confidential informant's assistance.

Once the confidential informant confronted Mr. House, Mr. House offered to pay the confidential informant a portion of the insurance proceeds once recovered to remain silent during the investigation. The confidential informant indicated that he believed Mr. House and Mr. Gillespie acted in coordination in this matter. It is Philadelphia's position based on its investigation that Mr. House and Mr. Gillespie acted together to defraud Philadelphia of $2,200,000.
Photobucket

Additionally, Philadelphia insured the vehicle as a collector's item used for display and makes a case that the vehicle was actually used for personal errands such as going to biker rallies, impressing friends, and otherwise commuting around Texas and thus they shouldn't have to pay on those grounds.

As proof they have the vehicle's mileage (2,100 since insuring it) and the fact that it was rolling around with dealer plates.

The insurance company's lawyers are seeking to have the claim rejected and seek any relief they may be justified to.

Both the insurance company and the defendants filed a motion for a summary judgment in federal court and both were denied, according to Miller, because there was an issue of "fact." The case will now likely go to a jury to decide, probably some time in the next year, in order to determine the facts of the case.

JOKE: CONFESSION

Photobucket


A guy goes into the confessional box. He finds on one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since I've been to confession, but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days."

The priest replies, "Get out! You're on my side!"

GOT CAPTION? 11/30

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/30 v.2.0

Photobucket

JOKE: A Modern Day Fairy Tale



frog


Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. 

The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don’t f***in’ think so.

VIDEO: Why did the salmon cross the road?

Several intrepid salmon were pictured frantically battling the water in an attempt to swim across Skokomish Valley Road near Shelton in the southern Puget Sound area of Washington.
The salmon's struggle upstream is a vital part of their lifecycle.

Several salmon struggled to swim across the road due to water levels rising following heavy rain
They lay their eggs in a stream bed and once hatched, grow in the freshwater for several years before travelling downstream to the sea.
They travel great distances to feed in the oceans and, when fully mature, after between one and four years, must return to their birthplace to spawn.
This means they must swim up rivers, against rapids and leap waterfalls.
Once they arrive, they lay their eggs and usually die within a week of spawning. A small proportion are strong enough to survive and start the cycle again.

VIDEO: Meet My Husband Stew..He Makes a Great Curry

A Pakistani woman is being held on suspicion of killing her husband, cutting him up and trying to cook the pieces, Karachi police said Friday.
Zainab Bibi, 32, was arrested in connection with the murder Tuesday of her husband Ahmad Abbas, police said.
Her 22-year-old nephew, Zaheer Ahmed, is accused of helping Bibi stab Abbas to death and carve his body into small pieces.
Police said she wanted to cook her husband's body parts so she could dispose of them without being caught.
Neighbors raised the alert when they detected a foul odor in the neighborhood, police said.
Pakistan's domestic satellite channel ARY News spoke to Bibi in the police station where she is being held in the southern city of Karachi.
In an interview broadcast late Thursday, she claimed to have killed her husband because he wanted a physical relationship with their daughter -- and said she did not regret her actions.
"I killed my husband before he dared to touch my daughter," she told ARY News.

VIDEO: A Lioness Adopts a baby antelope. A short documentary that will open your eyes

A lioness in Kenya has adopted a baby antelope- and later other cubs from a different animal species. This short touching documentary will open your eyes and rethink about how humane animals can be. A must watch.

Indonesian bridge collapse death toll rises


Rescuers say the number of people killed when a bridge 2340 feet long collapsed in central Indonesia has climbed to 11, with more than 30 others missing and feared dead.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

VIDEO: People living in animal cages in Hong Kong


VIDEO: The Talented Mr. Berdymukhammedov OR Ain't It Great to Be the Dictator

Being president of Turkmenistan, a country of some 5 million people with huge natural gas reserves, one would think there is not much time for anything but the affairs of state.

Not so.

President Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov has surprised his people by making an appearance on stage to perform his new song. Before a packed house, he is shown in a video running above the stage strumming a guitar to the accompaniment of...himself, shown also playing accordion.

It was no doubt hard for many to believe their president was also a songwriter, and indeed, there is reason not to believe it.


Although state television has identified Berdymukhammedov as the writer and performer of the song "My White Rose For You," it bears an uncanny resemblance to "On My Wedding Day," written and performed by Dovlet Amanlykov and posted on YouTube in 2009.
You would find that the problem is not about relatively similarities of eastern songs... In this particular case the two songs are exactly identical word-for-word and the melody is the same. An that means - president bears full responsibility for Plagiarism!!!

Still, it was a look at a lighter side of Berdymukhammedov, whose attire seemed to have come from the American children's show "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood."

And the video of him "rocking out" in Ashgabat did have people on their feet. Who would dare to sit while Turkmenistan's head of state was crooning on stage?

By taking someone else's song and making it his own Berdymukhammedov is following in a tradition established by his predecessor, Saparmurat Niyazov. Close inspection by a contributor to RFE/RL's Turkmen Service, also a historian, several years ago revealed Niyazov's book "Rukhnama" contains more than 70 pages of material taken word-for-word from Clifford E. Bosworth's "The New Islamic Dynasties."

Bruce Pannier..Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, 1201 Connecticut Ave., N.W. Washington DC 20036.

VIDEO: Teddy Bear the porcupine, doesn't like to share his corn..love his "voice"


Monday, November 28, 2011

VIDEO: Taekwondo Shuffle in Korea

VIDEO: Dog trained to fetch groceries

A man in China has found one more reason that dogs are man's best friend. He's trained his dog to go grocery shopping for him.

The dog carries a basket in his mouth with a shopping list and money to the store. Shopkeepers look out for the dog and they send him home with everything on the list.

The man says he used to take the dog to the store with him and trained him to carry the bag home. Eventually he started sending the dog out by himself.

It could be all about the reward at the end. When the dog gets home, he gets a treat of sausages and ice cream.

GOT CAPTION? 11/29

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/29 v.2.0

Photobucket





VIDEO: Lab research dogs see the sun and grass for the first time.



Our second rescue from beagles who have lived their entire lives inside a research laboratory. These beagles have known nothing except the confines of metal cages. They have known no soft human touch, no warm bed, no companionship, no love. They have never been outside or sniffed a tree or grass. Finally, after years of being poked and prodded, these beagles are FREE! ARME got the call that a facility was willing to release them to us after they had been used in several tests. We picked them up on June 8th and now they are all in loving foster homes, and one has already been adopted. If you are interested in adopting any of these special beagles, please email us at: shannon@beaglefreedomproject.org. If you cannot adopt, but would like to help, ARME is a non-profit organization and we rely on your donations to continue this work.

VIDEO: Seriously Cool Russian Trucks..Extreme Conditions..Huge Movers





*ODD NEWS BITS*

VIDEO: At Last..Wingsuit Flying in Norway and Europe..Exquisite Scenery

VIDEO: Awesome Skiing Movie Trailer..All.I.Can.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

JOKE: The Hijacker


plane

A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door burst open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and stewardess. He held a gun to the pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill your brains all over the place." The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and says, "Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the copilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." But the copilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "Listen to me. The pilot's got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the navigator's head and repeated, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place." But the navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us." The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to the stewardess's head and demanded, "Take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HER brains all over the place." No one says a word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered something into the hijacker's ear. He turned beet red, dropped his gun, and ran out of the cockpit in a panic. The crew tracked down the hijacker, who was found cowering behind some crates in the hold, and tied him up. The pilot then asked the stewardess what she said that terrified the man so. "I told him, sir," she replied, "that if he killed me, HE'd be the one who'd have to give you guys your blowjobs."

GOT CAPTION? 11/28

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/28 v.2.0

Photobucket

JOKE: A man and wife go golfing



golf ball


A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.”

“We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball……..stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”

“What did you do?” asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,
“Hey, this looks like yours!”

VIDEO: Wife Acknowledges Abuse of Young Boy By Her Husband..Syracuse Univ. Basketball Coach

Earlier this month, Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine was accused of sexual molestation by former ball boys Bobby Davis and Mike Lang.

The story gets even more bizarre. Davis said, and Laurie Fine appears to acknowledge, that the two of them had a sexual relationship when Davis was 18. Davis said he told Bernie Fine about it.


VIDEO: Two Close Calls

VIDEO: Elephants Reunited After 20 Years

Moving video of 2 elephants reunited after 20 years. The Dallas Zoo had an elephant named Jenny, who was alone for 20 years after they had sent one elephant to another zoo for mating. There was talk about sending her to a zoo in Mexico , but the outcry from animal lovers prevented that. Now, finally, there are 2 more elephants. Can you imagine the loneliness these animals felt to have been isolated for so long when they are naturally loving toward all members of their troop. At least now they each have companions to spend their days with.

Jenny and Shirley were elephants at the same circus when Jenny was a calf, and Shirley was in her twenties. The two lived one winter together, but then were separated twenty-two years ago.

It's very rare for elephants to display this kind of emotion in captivity, and it's probably the first time such a thing has been documented on film.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

VIDEO: Arizona Police Tackle Old Man They Think Is Shoplifting, Knocking Him Out Bleeding Heavily


Warning: Graphic blood!

Americans are used to their police being ‘tough’ with them. It’s the American way. But two cops went to far at a Walmart in Buckeye, Arizona when they reportedly thought an old man was shoplifting two games. He was really trying to save the toys he was holding while picking up his grandson from a brawl. They tackled him from behind, smashing his face against the ground. The old man got knocked out, and blood spurt everywhere. A crowd quickly gathered around rebuking the police.

VIDEO: This Will Tug at Your Heart Strings

VIDEO: Epic Tablecloth Magic Trick Fail

VIDEO: One of the Best Car Chase Scenes Ever! To Live and Die in L.A.

GOT CAPTION? 11/27

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/27 v.2.0

Photobucket

VIDEO: Arctic inhabitant and mysterious box ..a lesson here


VIDEO: Walmart - Porter Ranch, CA - Black Friday Video Game Carnage

VIDEO: First Time Driving a Lamborghini

VIDEO: Jetman Yves Rossy Flies in Formation with Jet Planes

Friday, November 25, 2011

VIDEO: This Skiing is the Coolest!!

VIDEO: Cutest Dad and Baby Nap Ever

VIDEO: Funny Dog Falls Asleep and Dunks Himself in Water..Then Listen LMAO

VIDEO: Dog Give Crying Baby a Cookie..Anything to Shut it Up lol

VIDEO: Cat hates ringtone

A Lively Friday Night Tune Yeaaaah! Got One?

VIDEO: Ever Heard a Kookaburra? Imagine one of these outside your window in the morning lol

JOKE: Shhhh..Someone's Coming

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While he was there,an attractive young lady in a robe came out of her apartment next to the mailboxes.  The guy smiled at the young woman, and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.  The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment. I hear someone coming."  

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?'  

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."  

Astounded and a little hurt, she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day, and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin -- no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"  

Clearing his throat, he stammered..."Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me." 



Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/26

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/26 v.2.0

Photobucket

Taiwanese man lifts 507 pounds with his penis to improve his health

Photobucket

Yang You-sin, a Taiwanese worker who became ill after years of manual labor, regained his health by learning "99 Power Qigong," also known as "iron crotch," in which male students train their genitals to lift iron disks weighing hundreds of pounds.

Yang has been doing heavy manual labor since he was young. Ten years ago, his limbs started to swell and become sore after working and he was not able to find any medicine that could relieve his pain. He started to look into qigong after he heard that it can improve practitioners' health. Yang says what improved his health was "iron crotch" qigong, which he studied after meeting the practice's founder, Tu Jin-sheng.

Yang showed his friends the results of his daily practice. First, he uses a red cloth to tie several iron disks to his genitals to warm up. When he feels prepared, he steps onto two pedestals and crouches down to tie iron weights weighing 507 lbs. to his penis. He then stands up slowly, lifting the iron disks off the ground for 30 seconds. His friends have been, for lack of a better word, fascinated by his performance.

The student has become well-known at his master's training center and has been invited to perform in masterclasses in Indonesia. Qigong is usually practiced to improve health, mediation, breathing and movement. The practice is closely tied to theories of self-cultivation in Chinese philosophy and comes in various forms and styles.

VIDEO: Cleo the Goat Rides Blaze the Horse

VIDEO: Funny, Weird Motorcyclist in Baby Costume

VIDEO: Funny Fishing Videos

VIDEO: The best jumping dog you'll ever see

VIDEO: Crazy Acrobatic Dog Wants Ball LMAO

Thursday, November 24, 2011

VIDEO: Aston Martin Crash


More Windsurfing Videos

JOKE: An American tourist in Mexico

donkey

An American tourist in Mexico saw a donkey rental place and decided to try it. "I want to rent a donkey," he said.

The proprietor replied, "We don't call them donkeys here--they're asses. And the only ass I have left is a little weird. You have to scratch him to make him stop."

"No big deal," thinks the American and takes his new ass for a spin. Seeing a hotdog stand, he stopped and ordered a hotdog. The proprietor replied, "We don't call them hotdogs here--they're wieners." Meanwhile, his donkey started to wander off.

He turned to another tourist and asked, "Would you mind holding my wiener while I scratch my ass?

GOT CAPTION? 11/25

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/25 v.2.0

Photobucket

Saudi moral committee threatens to cover tempting women's eyes



Photobucket




Women with sexy eyes in Saudi Arabia may be forced to cover them up, according to the spokesperson of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (CPVPV) in the conservative Gulf kingdom.

Spokesman of the Ha’eal district, Sheikh Motlab al-Nabet said the committee has the right to stop a women whose eyes seem “tempting” and order her to cover them immediately.

Saudi women are already forced to wear a loose black dress and to cover their hair and in some areas, their face, while in public or face fines or sometimes worse, including public lashings.

The announcement came days after the Saudi newspaper al-Watan reported that a Saudi man was admitted to a hospital after a fight with a member of the committee when he ordered his wife to cover her eyes. The husband was then stabbed twice in the hand.

The CPVPV is Saudi’s Sharia, Islamic law, executive arm and was founded in 1940 to ensure Islamic laws are not broken in public, yet over the years, the committee has been largely criticized over its human rights violations.

In 2002, the committee refused to let female students out of their burning schools in Mecca for “not wearing the proper head cover,” which contributed to a large number of dead.

15 young girls died in the fire and dozens more were injured. The CPVPV men banned the firemen and policemen from accessing the girls as “it is not okay for girls to be seen without their full Islamic dress in front of strangers.”

The committee, which only accepts and trains volunteers, has questionable powers on the Saudi street, as they operate under the supervision of the King himself.

A Wikileaks document released last year mentioned that “wild Western-style parties” are regularly held at royal palaces in Jeddah, away from the reach of the committee, who stands helpless against any royal violations.

It was reported that the parties had alcohol, drugs, dancing and sex, according to American consulate wires published by the whistle-blower organization.

Deaf Guy Killed by Police After Failing to Hear Siren




Photobucket



SCOTLAND NECK, N.C. — A 61-year-old Halifax County man died Tuesday, a day after police shocked him with a stun gun while he was riding his bike, family members said.

Scotland Neck Police Chief Joe Williams said they received a call Monday night about a man who fell off of his bicycle and injured himself in the parking lot of the BB&T bank, 1001 Main St. The caller was concerned that the man was drunk.

When Officer John Turner arrived, he saw Roger Anthony pedaling away along 10th Street. He followed Anthony in his patrol car, briefly put on his sirens and lights and yelled out of the window for him to stop, but Anthony continued to ride away, police said.

Williams said Turner then saw Anthony take something out his pocket and put it into his mouth. At that time, Turner got out of the car and yelled for Anthony to stop. When Anthony didn't stop, the officer used a stun gun on him, causing him to fall off of his bike.

Anthony was transported to Pitt County Memorial Hospital, where he was declared brain dead, his sister Gladys Freeman said. He was taken off of life support on Tuesday.

Freeman said her brother was disabled, suffered from seizures and had trouble hearing. She said he was riding his bike home from her house on Sunday night. Anthony lived alone in an independent living community.

Williams would not comment further on the incident, citing an ongoing investigation. Turner, who has been on the force for just over a month, has been placed on administrative leave.

Scotland Neck Mayor James Mills is calling for the State Bureau of Investigation to look into what happened.

"The best we've been able to determine is that he offered no threat," Mills said.

Milton Freeman said Anthony, his brother-in-law, used to smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and ride his bicycle around town. Anthony was nicknamed "Rabbit" because of his big ears.

"Why would you (use a stun gun on) a man on a bike? He didn’t do any crime. He wasn’t trying to escape. How (was) he going to escape on his bicycle?" Milton Freeman said.

VIDEO: HOW THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WAS DEVELOPED.. LMAO

VIDEO: The Funniest Hungry Baby Ever

VIDEO: Horny Deer Attracted to Blonde Girl

VIDEO: Old English Sheepdog on Bicycle

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

VIDEO: Now This is a Hybrid Car..a Porsche 918 RSR Hybrid 767 hp

JOKE: Jewish Modesty

A Catholic, a Protestant, an Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince.... I will buy Microsoft!

They then all wait for the Jew to speak....
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee, looks at them and casually says:
I'm not selling!!!...

GOT CAPTION? 11/24

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/24 v.2.0

Photobucket

VIDEO: Turkeys Attack...Anyone Surprised?

VIDEO: Octopus Walks on Land

VIDEO: India Talent Show - Warriors of Goja ..INSANE!!!

VIDEO: Gorilla Prank at the Zoo

Cat Afraid of Height Finds a Way to Get Down

VIDEO: Four-inch leech found living in boy's windpipe

Photobucket



Doctors have found a 4-inch (10-centimetre) -long leech living in an impossible place - the windpipe of a 16-year-old boy. Two months ago, Tao Jiayuan felt ill and his voice became hoarse. His mother thought he had caught a cold and gave him some medicine - it didn't work.

Gradually the boy lost weight and felt weak. It wasn't until he had difficulty breathing that his family took him to hospital. Doctors found a leech living in his windpipe. Nan'an Division of Yibin No. 2 Hospital, in Yibin City in southwest China's Sichuan province, performed an operation on the boy late last week and removed the leech.

The bloodsucker seemed hardly affected by the dose of anaesthetic given to the boy and kept creeping on the white paper when it was out of the boy's throat. Though it is an extreme case, it is possible for leeches to steal their way into the human body, according to Doctor Chen Bing who was in charge of the operation. "Leeches may exist in human's nasal cavity or throat," Dr Chen said.

Leeches usually live in fresh water environments, such as creeks, rice fields and ponds. "He must have drunk stream water when working in the field," said Tao Chuanhua, the boy's father.

For Three Year Old Friends Separation is Intolerable

Photobucket

Falling in love? British tourist in Tenerife left naked and dangling from a stairwell after falling during sex with husband


Photobucket


A British woman was saved by her ankle on Saturday after falling from a landing in Tenerife whilst having sex with her husband, and getting her foot caught in the banisters below. The incident occurred in the early hours of Saturday morning, when the couple were having sex in the stairwell of an apartment block in Adeje on the island of Tenerife. As she fell, the woman got one of her feet caught in the banisters a floor below, where she ended up hanging by her ankle until emergency workers could free her.

According to the police report, the 49-year-old victim, identified only by the initials A. M. A. M., and her husband were having sex against the banister in the communal stairwell of the apartment block, when in a moment of frenzied abandon the woman slipped and fell into the void.

Her fall was stopped somewhat abruptly when her right ankle got caught between two bars of a banister several metres below where the amorous encounter had begun. As a result of the sudden break in her fall, the woman was left hanging upside down, stark naked, just inches from the ground whilst her husband tried to get help.

Local police, national police and a crew of firefighters responded to his emergency call, with the latter getting the task of cutting through the bars of the banister to release her right leg. The woman suffered a fracture to her right ankle and was taken to the local hospital. If that had not been enough embarrassment for one night, the ambulance's siren wasn't working so the couple were given a police escort to the hospital.

VIDEO: Pilot escapes unharmed after wing breaks off plane

An Argentinian pilot had a miraculous escape when his aerobatic plane fell out of the air.

Dramatic pictures show the moment the wing of the plane came off during a flying display in Santa Fe.

The plane caught fire, but the pilot escaped from the cockpit unaided and unharmed.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

VIDEO: 10 Things I Love About You Proposal

Katie and I had been dating for 3 1/2 years. I knew that I wanted to take the next step and have always wanted to make the proposal extraordinary and something she could never forget. Our favorite movie together is 10 Things I Hate About You. We're both huge Heath Ledger fans, and love the movie. Her favorite scene of all time is when Patrick (Heath Ledger) goes all out to win over the heart of Kat (Julia Stiles) by paying the band and singing to her from the stands of their stadium during her soccer practice. So, I decided I wanted to make it a reality for Katie and make this epic moment just like the movie.

THE SETUP: The strategic plan for 10 Things I Love About You was about 6 months in the making. First, I obviously asked her parents for permission to marry their daughter (I believe in getting and engaged and married the right and respectful way, ha). Then I watched the movie for the 200th-300th time to see exactly what Heath Ledger did, move by move, and studied it from that point on. Next, her high school doesn't have a full band, so I had my good friend Chris Hardy produce the music track for me. I chose the date of the football game, September 16th, 2010, making sure it was home and the right timing. Then I got with some more friends and co-workers to get the audio equipment that would be needed, the cameramen ready, and the photographers ready. A couple of weeks out, we started to plant ideas for her to raise money for the dance team she's over, one of those being promoting and selling Monster Energy Drinks during halftime. Finally, it was topped off by my mom and grandma being able to secretly fly in to see the proposal (hidden in the stands) and spend the weekend with the families.

I wanted to mimic every move Heath did in the movie, but obviously couldn't make it 100% identical because a) they didn't have a pole to slide down (oh but don't think I didn't try to figure out how to slide down the upper box) & b) there were tons of people in the stands to maneuver between as opposed to Heath's empty stadium. Even with my horrible dancing skills, I think it turned out pretty close :)

Pretty much everyone knew what I was doing that night but Katie, and there were definitely a few close calls with trying to hide my mom and grandma and getting Katie on the field. Katie had absolutely no idea, as you can tell, and was completely taken by surprise. And I'm stoked that this moment turned out to be as great as it was. 10 Things I Love About you is also the theme for our wedding, so we've got a couple more tricks up our sleeve.

Lastly, thank you to everyone who helped make this proposal possible, I couldn't have done it without you! And I hope everyone who watches it is inspired to really make the best of every moment in your lives, and if you can dream it, DO IT!

JOKE: Group Therapy

John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised. He then asks, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised. After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex. 

The guy said, Once a year! To John's dismay, he responds, Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year? 

The grinning guy responds, "Tonight is the night!"

dancin old man

GOT CAPTION? 11/23

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/23 v.2.0

Photobucket

VIDEO: This Cat is a Masseur

VIDEO: Lily..Man's Best Friend

VIDEO: OMG OMG..Cats in Tanks!!!! Run for it!

VIDEO: Hypnotization instinct in animals

VIDEO: High Winds Takes Parked Plane for a "Flight"

VIDEO: Glencairn Tower Demolition

Photobucket

Glencairn Tower block was demolished in Motherwell, Scotland, using 100 kilos (220 lbs.) of explosives. The spectacular demolition of the 17-story concrete tower block took just five seconds to complete. The blowdown drew a large crowd.

Monday, November 21, 2011

VIDEO: Laughing Baby..the Best Medicine

VIDEO: Seriously Awesome Kids

JOKE: Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time


Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch.

The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade.

That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at the watch. “Where did you getta thatta watch?” asks the man.

The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded.

The father blows his top. “Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you? Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say, ‘How longa you gonna be?’”

GOT CAPTION? 11/22

Photobucket

GOT CAPTION? 11/22 v.2.0

Photobucket

VIDEO: WWE WRESTLING KITTENS

Wife Sells Husband On Craigslist

Photobucket

VIDEO: Python vs. Alligator in Florida

VIDEO: This Cat Loves You

VIDEO: Vodka Fetching Dog

Saturday, November 19, 2011

this is the kinda thing i do..call me crazy..

re; my comment...LISTEN a multi-step process but this is one of the things I enjoy about Multiply or any site for that matter...I seek things I can and cannot do..I post tons of things, many of which people enjoy..like cats, dogs, cars, video, etc..they click the corresponding tags and find all sorts of entertainment..I like to think I am very good at it.I like hiding a music track that corresponds with a given photo..no one else does this! this is such an example..I changed the HTML code a bit lolPhotobucket

digitalpoint

Geo Visitors Map

~WHIRLED GNUS~

Followers

Blog Archive