Sunday, April 29, 2012



A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a girl hitchhiker wearing really short shorts. "Say, What's your name, mister" she asked, after she climbed up in the truck."

"It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?"

"Me, I'm June, June Hansen," she said.

After a short while she asked, "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?"

"I was just thinking about the possibility of having eight inches of Snow in June?"

VIDEO: Newborn fawn found on welcome mat


James Chang looked out the window of his parent's Pacific Grove, California home on Tuesday morning and saw there was a tiny fawn at the front door. The white-spotted fawn had just been born and was sitting on a welcome mat.

"I freaked out, because I thought it was hurt and needed help," Chang said. "So I called 911." The 911 dispatcher told Chang that the newborn fawn was likely resting after going through a tiring ordeal, and probably just needed a good nap.

Sure enough, the fawn peacefully slept on the mat while its mother grazed on a lawn next door. Chang, 57, was not the only one amazed by the dainty baby animal. A curious orange cat also stared from afar and did not bother the newborn.

The fawn eventually woke up and practiced walking by taking its first wobbly steps around Chang's garden. After about an hour, the mother doe retrieved her youngster and the two strolled off.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

JOKE: The Good Wife

My wife and I were quietly enjoying our morning coffee when I announced, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff."

"What? Why?"

"Because a woman as fine as you is bound to remarry and I don't want some a$$hole using my stuff."

She didn't even look up from her paper as she said, "What makes you think I'd marry another a$$hole?"



"Would you like to hear my sexual philosophy," the boss asked the new coder?

"Why yes sir, I think that would be interesting," she responded.

"It's really quite simple," he said. "Get it Up, Get in In, Get it Off, and Get it Home."

"Hmmmmmmm," she mused. "Sounds like the Four-Get-It system to me!"

VIDEO: Parenting win..Family Sings Bohemian Rhapsody On The Way To School Everyday

"It has become a morning habit to sing Bohemian Rhapsody on the way to school in the morning. Depending on traffic, we can usually start the song as we pull out of the driveway, and pull into the school just as the song ends."

VIDEO: Track 'N Go Turns Your 4x4 Into a Snowmobile

VIDEO: Nova Science: How smart are dogs?

Watch How Smart Are Dogs? on PBS. See more from NOVA scienceNOW.

VIDEO: Mouse Cuddles With Kitten

VIDEO: April Fail Compilation

VIDEO: Two Babies Happily Share One Pacifier

VIDEO: Dog Gets Surprise Dinner Guest

Friday, April 27, 2012


A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

Ten minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "Its not that. Its just that I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

VIDEO: Syrian Man Buried Alive by Bashar al-Assad Henchmen

Thursday, April 26, 2012

VIDEO: Vytautas Mineral Water! It's Earth's Juice! Incredible Lithuanian Commercial!

VIDEO: Religulous...Bill Maher's awesome documentary..part#1 of 10

there are actually 10 parts to this documentary total approx. 90 mins..very interesting, informative, etc

here you'll find the remaining 9 segments:

Synesthesia..a short weird film



A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit and,as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar she asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them,revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy,it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

VIDEO: The HemLoft - a secret treehouse, hiding in the woods of Whistler,B.C.

VIDEO: Here's a Dog Who Can Really Dance

VIDEO: The Parrot Wants Dinner!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years until he found a way to overcome this problem. His friends noticed the dramatic change.

"You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, Tom replied. I haven't had a single problem since."

"A thousand a week," said Doug. "How are you going to pay him?"

"Screw him, that's his problem."

Video: Rare White Killer Whale Spotted for First Time

A white killer whale was spotted off the coast of Kamchatka in eastern Russia. The orca was nicknamed Iceberg and is believed to be the first ever entirely white adult killer whale to be observed. Russian scientists caught the rare animal on camera.

VIDEO: Free Riding in Rio..Wow!

Virginia Woman Wins $1 Million Lottery Twice in the Same Day


Winning the lottery once in a lifetime is pretty lucky. Winning the lottery twice in the same day? Virginia Pike is one of the few people that can describe that feeling.
The Berryville, Va., resident had two tickets that matched five of the six Powerball numbers in an April 7 drawing so that each ticket was worth $1 million.

"I'm in shock!" Fike said in a news release from the Virginia lottery.
In early April, Fike stopped at an Olde Stone Truck Stop in Virginia with her numbers ready and purchased two tickets.

"I picked numbers based on my parents' anniversary and their ages at that time, divided by the year they were married," Fike said in the release. "I just love the jackpot games and I play when I can afford it."
The jackpot that week was at $80 million. In order to win the jackpot, the ticket holder has to match the five numbers and the sixth Powerball number.

After the drawing, it was announced that no one had won the jackpot, but 14 people nationwide had matched five of the numbers and were entitled to $1 million prizes each. Two of the winning tickets were in Virginia.
Pike was in the hospital keeping her mother company.

"I saw a scroll on TV about there being two $1 million winners. I looked at my mom and said 'Wouldn't it be funny if it was us?'" she said.
When she stopped by a convenience store, Pike had the clerk check her tickets and she discovered that she had won both of Virginia's $1 million prizes.
Per Virginia state lottery rules, winners split the jackpot, regardless of how many there are, but non-jackpot prizes from matching part of the winning sequence are not split and can be won multiple times.

"It's not that uncommon for people to buy tickets in games with the same number, but this is the biggest prize we've ever had in Virginia of two tickets in the same drawing," Virginia Lottery spokesman John Hagerty told

Pike was presented with a check for $2 million on Friday at the truck stop where she purchased the ticket. Winners in Virginia are required to come forward and be identified. She will receive $1.4 million after taxes. The store also received a $200,000 bonus for selling the two winning tickets.

For now, Virginia's newest millionaire is basking in her shocking win.
"I must be dreaming," Pike said. "I look forward to helping to take care of my parents and paying some bills."

Village of Dull wants to forge ties with town of Boring


The Perthshire, England village of Dull is attempting to forge ties with the American town of Boring in Oregon. The potential link between the two places was the brainchild of Perthshire resident Elizabeth Leighton, who passed through Boring while on a cycling holiday. Boring is to consider Dull's request to become a "sister community".

If the plan goes ahead, a new road sign at Dull would highlight the partnership. Boring is best known for its timber logging and has a population of 12,000 - making it too large to be officially twinned with the tiny village of Dull. Officials in Boring will consider the idea of a partnership when the proposal is formally put to the town's planning organisation in just over a month's time.

Dull community councillor Marjorie Keddie said: "It might seem like a joke, but this could have real benefits for Dull. Everyone has been smiling at the prospect of the very eye-catching road sign this will inevitably require." Jim Hart, a journalist with Boring's newspaper, The Sandy Post, has already spoken to people in Dull to find out if they have anything in common.

He said: "One of the things our communities share is the weather. We get a lot of rain and snow every year." Boring was named after William H. Boring, an early resident of the area and former Union soldier in the American civil war. Dull's name may have come from the Gaelic word for meadow, although others have speculated that the origins could be connected to the Gaelic word "dul" meaning snare.

VIDEO: Teenager falls through sidewalk in China

A surveillance camera catches the moment an unsuspecting girl falls through a sidewalk while walking down a street in northern China. The pavement caved in under the teenager's weight as soon as she stepped onto a section of the walkway. What followed was a dramatic rescue attempt by a passing taxi driver. His heroic actions were also filmed by close circuit television and on mobile phones.

The passing cab driver stopped immediately at the scene and climbed into the six-metre deep pit to help the girl. "I called out to her but she didn't respond. After I shook her a little, she came to," said Wang Wei, a taxi driver in the northern city of Xi'an. Wang climbed down to the bottom of the pit clinging to a cable under the pavement.

"The dirt kept showering down on us and the kid couldn't stop crying," he added. Underground water had eroded the ground under the road and caused a cavity under the pavement. The ground in the pit continued to shift while the cab driver and the girl were still in it, which made it impossible for them to climb out until firefighters extended a ladder in to help them.

"The ladder kept moving about, it's a little flimsy and the girl kept screaming out of fear. So I told her to go first and I'll be right behind her. Finally we managed to get out," Wang said. Amateur footage showed the pair emerging from the hole and being pulled to safety with the help of fire fighters and passers-by.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dog is thatcher's rooftop companion


For Axel, the sky is the limit when it comes to his affection for his master. The five-year-old dog clambers up ladders to be alongside owner Richard Haughton, who is a thatcher in Norfolk, England..

Axel, a Newfoundland cross, is currently something of a celebrity in Scottow, near North Walsham, where he can be seen on top of the Three Horseshoes pub as Mr Haughton's team put on a new roof. He said: "Axel was a six-week-old puppy without a home. I was going to take him to the animal rescue centre, but he's been with me ever since and hasn't missed a day's work in the last five years."

Axel, weighing in at 98 pounds, patrols the roof where Mr Haughton's team are working in all weathers. His vantage point in Scottow is around 40ft (12m) off the ground. Mr Haughton said Axel's ability to climb ladders came as quite a surprise.

"We were sitting eating a packed lunch. Axel was on one side of the scaffolding, we were up over the ridge on the other and he managed to come up the ladder. We saw him up on the ridge - basically he thought he was going to get some food - and he's been up with us all the time ever since. He sits on the ridge and moves along it as we're working. We always have to bring him down though. He hasn't worked out going down the ladder yet."

Woman Fired After Donating Kidney to Help Her Boss

Debbie Stevens

A New York Long Island woman said she was fired after she donated a kidney to help save the life of her boss.
Debbie Stevens, a 47-year-old divorced mother of two, filed a formal complaint with the New York State Human Rights Commission last Friday, claiming her boss used her for her organ then fired her "after the woman got what she wanted." Stevens' boss, 61-year-old Jackie Brucia, is one of the West Islip controllers for Atlantic Automotive Group, a billion-dollar dealership operator. Brucia hired Stevens in January 2009 as an assistant.
"She just started treating me horribly, viciously, inhumanly after the surgery," Stevens told "It was almost like she hired me just to get my kidney." Although Stevens turned out to be less than a perfect kidney match for Brucia, Stevens donated her organ to an out-of-state stranger so that Brucia could move up on the organ donor list.
Stevens left the company in June 2010 to move to Florida. She returned to New York in September to visit her daughter, and decided to stop in at the dealership, according to the complaint. It was during this visit that Brucia told Stevens of her need for a kidney transplant.
"She said she had a possible donor, a friend or something," Stevens said. "But I told her if anything happened that I'd be willing to donate my kidney. She kind of jokingly replied, 'You never know, I may have to take you up on that one day.'"
A few months later, Stevens moved back to Long Island and asked Brucia if she had any job openings. Brucia hired her within weeks.
Then, in January 2011, Stevens said her boss called her into her office and asked if she was serious about donating her kidney.
"I said, 'Yeah, sure. This isn't a joking matter,'" Stevens said. "I did not do it for job security. I didn't do it to get a raise. I did it because it's who I am.
"I didn't want her to die," Stevens said.
When tests revealed that Stevens was not the best match, doctors agreed to let her give her kidney to someone in Missouri, which gave Brucia a higher place on the organ donor list.
Stevens underwent surgery on Aug. 10, 2011. She said doctors hit a nerve in her leg, causing her discomfort and digestive problems.
She returned to work four weeks later, and said that's when the problems began.
"I don't have words strong enough or large enough to describe her treatment of me," Stevens said. "Screaming at me about things I never did, carrying on to the point where she wouldn't even let me leave my desk. It was constant, constant screaming."
Stevens said she was demoted and moved to a car dealership 50 miles from her home. She said the mental stress got even worse, with her supervisor calling her an "actress."
"It got so bad that I'd start to tear up at times," Stevens said.
After consulting a psychiatrist for her mental stress, Stevens' hired attorneys who sent a letter to Atlantic Automotive Group.
Stevens was fired within a week.
When reached by ABC News, AAG referred all calls about the case to Jackie Brucia, Stevens' supervisor, who could not be reached for comment, at either the car dealership or her home. It is not known whether Brucia has legal representation at this time.
Stevens' attorney, civil rights lawyer Lenard Leeds, said he planned to file a discrimination lawsuit against AAG, and would likely seek millions of dollars in compensation.
"Our ultimate goal is to bring this before federal court," Leeds said. "We're alleging they discriminated against her for her disability and they retaliated against her when she complained about the harassment."
Leeds said the damages sought will be for Stevens' lost pay, psychological and physical well being.
"I have no comment on her. I'm just going walk ahead and live my life," Stevens said.

JOKE: Three POWs

An Australian, an American, and an Irishman were POWs in WWII. The prison commandant was a real bastard and told them he'd kill all three unless their combined pen�s length was twenty inches. The guards measured them and, fortunately, their combined length was exactly twenty inches.

Later, the Australian said, "Well, mates, if it weren't for my 10-incher, we'd all be dead."

The American said, "Naw, if it wasn't for my 8 inches, we'd all be dead."

The Irishman said, "If that guard didn't turn me on, we'd all be dead!"

VIDEO: Frog Sitting On Bench..Yup

Life-Saving Dachshund Up for Award


A dog who has twice saved the life of her owner after she suffered a seizure has been nominated for an award. Miniature long-haired dachshund Ellie-May is not trained for rescues, and first showed her skills when her owner collapsed in a country lane.

Now the three-year-old barks and "screams" to alert people when Yolande Rees-Hopkins, of Carmarthenshire, Wales is in danger. Ms Rees-Hopkins said Ellie-May's ability was amazing and had even saved her from drowning in the bath.

"My husband had gone out and he'd just come back in by the time I was under the water, and he would not have found me in time if it wasn't for Ellie-May," she said. Ellie-May even seemed to sense when her owner has a seizure even if they are apart, she added. "I could be 50 miles away from her and she will still know what is happening. I've never heard of this kind of thing before."

Ellie-May is one of a number of dogs owned by Ms Rees-Hopkins, but none of the others have had the same ability. While Ms Rees-Hopkins said winning would make no difference about how she felt about Ellie-May, it would be "nice for her to be recognised". "She's the only dog in her category which has not been specially trained for what she does," she added.

Judge sentences drunk driver to public humiliation


A judge in Houston, Texas, sentenced a convicted drunk driver to humiliation. The drunk driver killed another man when he crashed into his car. Now the whole city will know what happened.

In June of 2011, 20-year-old Aaron Pennywell was killed when he was struck by 38-year-old Michael Giacona.

On Saturday, after spending 90 days in jail, Giacona re-visited the scene, but not because he wanted to.

Harris County Judge Mike Fields has ordered him to spend the next four Saturdays out there from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. while holding a sign that says he killed Pennywell.

Man arrested after trying to sell marijuana to his former probation officer


A Florence, South Carolina, man was arrested late on Friday night after he tried to arrange a drug deal with his previous probation officer and then completed the sale to a Florence Police officer.

The suspect was apparently scrolling through his cellphone directory trying to sell some marijuana he had when one of the people he called agreed to the purchase, Maj. Carlos Raines, Florence Police Department, said.

The buyer, who was also the suspect's former probation officer, set up the buy for a shopping centre parking lot and then contacted Florence Police, who completed the transaction.

Raines said the department seized half a pound of marijuana with a street value of $1,200. Cedrick Barnes, 27, of 958 Fore Road, is charged with one count each of possession of a controlled substance and possession of cocaine.

Monday, April 23, 2012

VIDEO: Old Man In Nightgown Shoots Up Police Speed Camera Truck

An unidentified senior in Sante Fe, New Mexico, apparently fed up with the city's unmanned speed camera truck, decided to take action and fired half-a-dozen rounds from a handgun into the vehicle's windshield. As it was 1:20 in the morning, the man was wearing a flowing white nightgown.

JOKE: The bear


A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

VIDEO: Gaza zoo putting stuffed animals in cages to cut costs


Khan Younis zoo in Gaza is using stuffed animals in its enclosures to help cut the costs.

The animals that die at the zoo are stuffed and embalmed and put back on display.

The owner of the zoo, Mohammed Awaida, said they are doing this because there are not enough live animals left in Gaza following the war with Israel three years ago.

He believes the efforts will help children learn about the animals and taxidermy. The zoo is one of five in the Gaza strip, a densely populated area with 1.6 million people.


Sunday, April 22, 2012

JOKE: Talking Dog


A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner appears to tell him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he asks "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a bull shitter . He's never been out of the yard."

VIDEO: Naughty Parrots

VIDEO: I Think This Cat is an Electrician

VIDEO: Newborn Baby Daughter Flips Off Daddy

Only fifteen minutes old, already has an attitude problem!

VIDEO: How To Spot A Pothead

VIDEO: Cat Fights Off Bear In Backyard

VIDEO: Spider spotted eating snake in Australia


A man spotted an incredible sight in a Freshwater backyard. As a frequent visitor to the beaches and wild rainforests of Cape York, kite surfer Ant Hadleigh thought he had seen it all. But the Cairns man was in disbelief after witnessing a golden orb spider slowly attempt to eat a brown tree snake at a mate's place in Freshwater.

"I thought it was pretty incredible," Mr Hadleigh said. "A few times the snake managed to get up and attack the spider, and the spider would run back up the web. I would have put my money on the snake for sure, especially seeing how big it was."

Mr Hadleigh estimated the tree snake to be around half a metre long and was alive for "an hour or more" after being caught in the spider's web, before finally succumbing to the arachnid's venom. "You could see the spider just chewing into it and the part which the spider was eating had gone all black and the insides were bubbling," he said. "It was pretty crazy."

Mr Hadleigh said the same spider devoured a wasp the day before, after an aggressive sparring match between both creatures. "The wasp kept trying to sting it, and it (the spider) used its feet to push the stinger away every time," he explained.


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