Sunday, September 5, 2010

JOKE: A professor was giving a lecture

goat

A professor at the University of Kentucky
was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,
'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start.Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?' About 40 students raise their hands. 'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says
'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,
no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,
'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Bubba replied, 'Shiiiit!! From way back thure I thought you said goats.'

�� Got Caption ?? 9/6

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WOW: Arthur C Clarke predicting the future in 1964

Butts arrested in Boob murder case

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Kermit Butts

Police have arrested a third person in connection with the murder of Samuel Boob. Boob was shot and killed at his home in Potter Township, Center County, on the morning of August 23rd, 2009.

Kermit Butts, 26, of Madisonburg,Pennsylvania is accused of driving the suspected killer to and from the crime scene on the morning of the killing. He was charged with aggravated assault and assisting a murder suspect and placed in the Center County Prison.

Police believe that Butts drove Ronald Heichel to the Boob home and picked him up later in the day on August 23rd, 2009. Police believe Heichel shot Sam Boob twice with a shotgun and killed him. Heichel was charged with 1st degree murder.

The victim's wife, Mirinda Boob, is accused of working with Heichel to have her husband killed. Police say they have text messages that were sent between her and Heichel, proving that the two were working together to kill Samuel. She has been charged with conspiracy to commit murder.

Department store zoo animals - trapped in an urban jungle

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Bangkok's Pata Zoo has been called a "hell for animals" by campaigners who want to close it.

THERE IS a gorilla on the seventh floor of a department store in Bangkok.

King Kong spends his days alone, moving little. There are no trees in his 15 by 10 metre concrete enclosure, just a tyre and a few ropes hanging from the low ceiling.

He spends long hours sitting at the front of his pen, hands gripping the iron bars.

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Thailand's unstable political situation means it is likely that this pair of endangered orang-utans will live out the rest of their lives behind bars.

Ten metres away, a penguin is alone in an airconditioned pen, standing on tiles next to a pool of water, smaller than a bath. Just a few years ago there were a dozen penguins. Only this one survives.

Bangkok's Pata Zoo sits atop the store on a busy road in the northern suburbs.

Crammed into cages and pens across two floors of the ageing building are more than 200 species - a menagerie of pythons, turtles, flamingos, monkeys, leopards, tigers, bears, and even a Shetland pony. From the rooftop enclosures, you can see the advertising billboards and office blocks next door, and hear the ceaseless traffic below.

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Animals, such as the deer pictured here, have no room to exercise.

Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand director Edwin Wiek wants the zoo closed.

"Basically, it is an animal prison on top of a shopping mall,'' he said. "The space is too small, the animals have very little room, there is very little sunlight, the enclosures are dirty, they smell bad, and people are coming past all day, getting far too close to the animals, which makes the animals extremely stressed.

"In 200 steps you can see 50 different species. Most people know that this is not an acceptable way to keep animals. It is a hell for animals."

Thailand, like much of south-east Asia, faces myriad animal welfare issues.

Cockfighting remains a popular spectator sport, elephants are still put to work on traffic-choked streets and controversy surrounds the popular monk-run Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi, where visitors can pay to pat tigers that critics say are cowed into submission.

As well, the Thai capital remains a hub for smuggling animals across the region and the world. Last week a sedated tiger cub was discovered in a bag at Suvarnabhumi Airport disguised among soft animal toys.

There used to be six penguins in this small, tiled enclosure: today only one survives.

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But Pata Zoo, as much as any of these, represents the underlying, fundamental problem: a lack of legislation regarding animal welfare.

It is breaking no laws. The animals were all legally obtained, and the zoo has recently had its licence extended.

"There is no rule or regulation saying how much space each animal needs," director Kanit Sermsirimongkol says through an interpreter.

"It's not about space, it's about the way in which you treat the animals.

"The space that we provide to the animals is enough for them to freely move around, and to exercise. The zoo has a vet to take care of the animals. And we have many species of animals successfully breeding, that shows the animals are healthy and well managed."

Mr Kanit says the zoo is a respite for people looking to escape the "concrete jungle" of Bangkok and "reconnect with nature". He says the animals are especially popular with children.

Earlier this year, Thailand's Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment declared its support in principle for a Universal Declaration on Animal Welfare, and a draft Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act has been written, but in Thailand's unstable political climate, the wherewithal to have it passed into legislation is lacking.

"There is an animal welfare law in Thailand, but it is very simple, very ineffective, and is rarely enforced," Mr Wiek says.

"It says only that if you torture an animal, you can be fined. And the maximum is 1000 baht ($A36). That's not a tool, that's a joke."

The issue of unsatisfactory conditions in private zoos is a problem throughout south-east Asia, Mr Wiek says, particularly in small, village or family-run zoos across Vietnam, Indonesia, and Cambodia.

Goats rescued from bridge after two days stranded on ledge

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The poor bleaters were plucked to safety by a towering crane after going without food and drink for 48 hours.

They are thought to have wandered onto the railroad ledge in southern Montana at night, then froze once the sun rose and they realised where they were.

The two young females occasionally stepped to the pillar to urinate then returned to the narrower ledge, where they tried to rest their tired legs by tucking them under their bodies for a few seconds, an eye-witness said.

The goats are now said to be in a good condition.

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