Thursday, September 8, 2011

Did you knock?

JOKE: SEXY TIMEPIECE

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, "Wow,that's a really fancy watch."

"Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically."

"Rubbish, you're putting me on," says the girl.

"No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on."

The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, "Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on."

"It's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on."

"Damn," says the guy, slapping his watch, "it's an hour fast!"

hahaha

GOT CAPTION? 9/09

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GOT CAPTION? 9/09 v.2.0


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Drunken Moose Rescued from Apple Tree in Sweden


A drunk Swedish moose had to be rescued from a tree after it got wasted on fermented apples, south of Gothenburg. The animal got stuck when it attempted to climb the tree in search of more fruit. It was discovered by a local man, Per Johansson of S�r�, when he returned home from work.

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Rescuers managed to free the moose the same night, after which the drunk animal laid on the ground overnight before finally getting up the next morning and wandering off with a hangover.

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Sweden is one of the last European countries the moose is native to and residents often see the creatures venturing from their forest habitats.

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Animals can get drunk when they eat rotting fruit that has fallen from trees. The fruit ferments and becomes alcoholic.

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TV Weatherman Brett Cummins Wakes In Hot Tub With Naked Dead Man

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Arkansas police are investigating the death of a man found naked in a hot tub next to a sleeping TV weatherman.

A friend woke meteorologist Brett Cummins, of Little Rock station KARK, on Labor Day. He found the forecaster snoring in the empty whirlpool next to a nude man with a dog collar around his neck, The Arkansas Democrat & Gazette reported.

The 36-year-old resident who made the grisly discovery, Christopher Barbour, allegedly told police that the victim, 24-year-old Dexter Williams, was blue in the face and lying near Cummins' shoulder, ArkansasNews.com reported.

Barbour say the two men were in his home the night before, drinking and snorting drugs. Police haven't determined the cause of death, but a detective allegedly found a ring of blood in the bottom of the empty tub, ArkansasNews.com said.

Police are waiting for autopsy results and don't consider Cummins a suspect, radio station KUAR said.

KARK announced on Tuesday that Cummins wouldn't be on the air because he's "mourning the loss of a friend."

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