Thursday, September 3, 2009

Walletless Vice President Biden Found Handcuffed To Bedpost

biden



WASHINGTON—According to an incident report filed by the Secret Service,

special agents responded early Wednesday morning to a distress call from

Number One Observatory Circle and arrived to discover Vice President Joe

Biden chained to a bed, spread-eagle, with a pair of cutoff denim shorts

around his ankles. Though White House officials have refused to comment, the

report indicates that Biden told agents his wallet was missing and detailed its

contents as a lucky two-dollar bill, a Sizzler gift card, and a Federal Bikini

Inspector badge. After further questioning of the vice president, the Secret

Service advised local law enforcement to be on the lookout for a stolen white

1981 Trans Am driven by "this real feisty little firecracker.

biden


satire

another joke~

Native American,Art Pictures, Images and Photos
The old native American wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," was the response.
"What have you got for collateral?"
"Don't know collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.
Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"Don't know, has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said.
He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"
"Put in tepee."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.
"Don't know deposit."
"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"

a joke for Thursday

Photobucket
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

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