Thursday, June 10, 2010

JOKE: 2 for 1 Friday

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GREAT ATTITUDE

Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as
the evening progressed, he found himself more and more
attracted to her. After some really passionate
embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making
love?"

"That is something I have never done before," Jill
replied.

"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Jack was amazed.

"No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE BABY LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM

A woman was walking along pushing her new born baby in its carriage when she was approached by an old friend.

The woman leaned over, peered into the pram and said, "What a beautiful baby boy! Little Jesse looks just like his father."

"I know," replied the woman, "I just wish he looked
more like my husband!"


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Scarlett is a Pig Who Can Fly...Well Almost!

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This little piggy is more than happy to show the world two clean pairs of heels. At six weeks old, Scarlett the rare-breed porker has already mastered the art of trampolining.
Owners Gwen and Steve Howell say the woolly Hungarian mangalitza enjoys the experience so much that their daughters Tara, 14, and Alex, eight, now have to wait their turn to play. Mr and Mrs Howell, both estate agents, have seven pet pigs on their farm in Shrewsbury. Scarlett's father Percy was the first to try the trampoline but is now so fat that he would probably break it.
The couple are planning to show off Scarlett's skills to Simon Cowell next week at auditions for Britain's Got Talent. Mrs Howell, 46, said: 'Scarlett will be trampolining and two of our other pigs, Arthur and Polly, will be doing their own dances nearby. We hope the judges will be impressed.'


The Howells told how they had been trying to replace Scarlet's father Percy as the family's resident bouncing pig, after the prize boar became too fat.
The six-week-old piglet has since attracted hordes of visitors to the family home in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, and the Howells are now planning on entering her, along with several other of their rare-breed pigs, into Britain's Got Talent.


Mrs Howell, 46, explained how they came across their pets' unlikely skill by chance.
'We decided we would try and put our boar, Percy on the trampoline one day and he absolutely loved it.

'He is very tame and quite trainable. He was on there and just went for it and started jumping up and down, we couldn't believe it. It was hard to get him off.

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'The only problem is Percy has piled on the pounds and is way to porky to put on the trampoline nowadays, so we tried to put Scarlet on there.


'Whenever you pick a pig up they squeal really loudly. We picked her up and of course she screamed, but as soon as she was placed on the trampoline she stopped.
'She started sniffing around and started to walk on it then we put some food on there and she started feeling her feet.
'She has only been doing it for three days, for 45 minutes a time, but she loves it. The pigs seem to love the trampoline even more than our two daughters.
'All our friends want to see Scarlet in action as soon as they get here. She's become the star attraction.


The couple, who have two daughters, Tara, 14, and Alex, eight, own seven different rare breeds of pigs, and are set to present their acrobatic pigs before Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan during the Britain's Got Talent auditions at Birmingham's NEC next Thursday.

'We are really looking forward to going down to Britain's Got Talent,' continued Mrs Howell.

'Scarlet will be trampolining and two of our other pigs, Arthur and Polly, will be doing their own dances nearby.

'We hope the judges will be impressed and fingers crossed next week we will have some good news.'

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