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JOKE: A married woman walks up to Santa Claus

A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in sex. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.

So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.

"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself.

That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.

Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone.

Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"

"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks.

"I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"

"That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, the maid is pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "

VIDEO:

Subaru WRX STi Conquers Mt. Washington Hill Climb

A dangerous mountain I have climbed a few times. Changing weather kills people here.

Mount Washington is the highest peak in the Northeastern United States at 6,288 ft (1,917 m), famous for dangerously erratic weather. For 76 years, a weather observatory on the summit held the record for the highest wind gust directly measured at the Earth's surface, 231 mph (372 km/h) (or 103 m/s), on the afternoon of April 12, 1934.[4] It was known as Agiocochook, or "Home of the Great Spirit", before European settlers arrived.[5]

The mountain is located in the Presidential Range of the White Mountains, in the township of Sargent's Purchase, Coos County, New Hampshire. While nearly the whole mountain is in the White Mountain National Forest, an area of 59 acres (0.24 km2) surrounding and including the summit is occupied by Mount Washington State Park.

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'Call me Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice' says name change salon owner

The Nottingham, England mother of three, who goes by the shortened version of her name, Pink Nice, is just one of 100,000 Brits who decided to change their name this year.

Charlotte Price now goes by Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice (PA)

She admits that she is obsessed with the color, wears mostly pink clothes and has decorated her house in the color, complete with furnishings.

'Everyone is still calling me by my old name. My mum thinks I'm a bit mad really and so do my children. They stick to Mum,' she said

The salon worker even decked her business out entirely in the color and even uses pink wax on her clients.

Her new name is far from the strangest name change this year, as two men from Nottingham have decided to create superhero images for themselves.

Daniel Knox-Hewson, 23, and Kelvin Borbidge, 22, changed their names with the Legal Deed Poll Service for �10 each and are believed to both have the longest names in the UK.

Mr Knox-Hewson renamed himself Emperor Spiderman Gandalf Wolverine Skywalker Optimus Prime Goku Sonic Xavier Ryu Cloud Superman Heman Batman Thrash.

While Mr Borbidge now goes by Baron Venom Balrog Sabretooth Vader Megatron Vegeta Robotnik Magneto Bison Sephiroth Lex Luthor Skeletor Joker Grind.