Tuesday, December 14, 2010

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JOKE: Wendy the prostitute

Wendy was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes, and Wendy was among them. The police took them outside and lined them up along the driveway when, suddenly, Wendy's grandma came by.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"

Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Wendy told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.

When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."

The policeman fainted.

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Refrigerator thrown from building strikes, kills man

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Police investigate the death of man that had a refrigerator fall on him, next to a building located at 811 N. 22 St.

A 33-year-old man who was part of a crew renovating an apartment on Milwaukee's west side was killed Tuesday when he was struck by a refrigerator his co-workers had thrown from the building, a Milwaukee police spokeswoman said.

Initial reports indicated the refrigerator fell from a fourth-floor porch to the ground, where the man was struck.

The incident occurred about 9:40 a.m. at 805-11 N. 22nd St., police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz said. The workers who threw the refrigerator said they yelled down to the ground but didn't hear a response, so they thought the area was clear, she said.

The victim apparently stepped into the path of the refrigerator as it fell, Schwartz said. No one is in custody.

"It appears right now just to be a tragic accident," Schwartz said.

The victim died at the scene. His name has not been released. He worked for Wiegand Enterprises, which manages the building, according to an e-mail from the company's president, Rick Wiegand.

The victim "has been a dedicated and valued member of the Wiegand Enterprises team for many years," Wiegand said in his e-mail. "As a family man with a warm heart and zest for life, we are all heartbroken with his loss."

The refrigerator fell into a narrow gangway between the four-story brick building and a chain-link fence. Police tape blocked off the gangway Tuesday afternoon. A white, full-size refrigerator with a bent door was standing upright in the gangway.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration is investigating the incident, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Department of Labor said.

Substitute teacher wins $95M lottery, will quit job and buy RV

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A substitute teacher from Fort Mohave walked into the Arizona Lottery's headquarters Monday and put two weeks of rumors, speculation and excitement to rest, claiming a $95.3 million Powerball prize.

Sheila Verke, 64, held the single prize-winning ticket, but her identity had been a mystery since the Dec. 1 drawing.

She accepted a jackpot check in person Monday, accompanied by friends and financial advisers.

She took the prize as a lump sum of $49.9 million rather than a 30-year annuity for the full prize.

"This will make so many changes in my own life and the lives of my family," she said.

She said she expects to bank the money and live on the interest. She quit her job and plans to buy an RV and begin touring the country.

Verke bought the ticket at a Safeway store in Fort Mohave, just south of Bullhead City in western Arizona. She said she regularly played the same numbers, a combination of family birthdays, for the past six years.

The announcement that a single winning Powerball ticket had been sold in Fort Mohave caused a sensation in the small community on the Colorado River.

When no one stepped forward in the first week to claim the prize, rumors began to swirl. Perhaps the winner was not at least 21 years old, the minimum legal age to play the Lottery in Arizona. Perhaps a winter visitor had bought the winning ticket, stuck it away and forgot about it.

The rumors were put to rest Monday. Verke said she didn't come forward sooner because she was busy working out a plan for the money.

Safeway gets $25,000 for selling the winning ticket. Company officials said Monday that $5,000 of that is being donated to the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Colorado River, which serves Bullhead City, Fort Mohave, and Laughlin, Nev.

"We had so many rumors it's unreal," said John Jenkins, assistant manager of the Safeway store that sold the winning ticket. "It's so nice that it has come out and so nice that it is someone local."

Verke said she moved to Arizona from Montana in 2000 and doesn't have plans to move out of Fort Mohave. She said she is divorced, with two sons and five grandchildren.

She had to bite her tongue a few times since the announcement that the winning ticket was sold in her hometown, especially when she stopped in to Safeway. Store employees had been asking their regular Lottery players if they had won or knew the winner. Verke told only a select group of family, friends and her financial advisers.

Arizona Lottery Executive Director Jeff Hatch-Miller called the prize a "major, major win" for Verke and told her he hoped it would be a "blessing in her life."

The winning numbers were 5-10-11-12-20, and Powerball was No. 2.

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