Sunday, July 22, 2012

JOKE: An Assortment lol

A teenager came downstairs all dressed up for her date: bare midriff, short tight skirt, exposed cleavage... she thought she looked great. "So, Mom? How do I look?" she asked. Her mother replied, "Well, if I had gone out dressed like that when I was your age, you'd be five years older!"

Three guys were debating who had the best memory. The first one claimed, "I remember my first day of kindergarten." The second boasted, "I remember speaking my first word!" The third exclaimed, "I remember going to the senior prom with my father and coming home with my mother!"

My wife and I are planning a trip to India. She wants to visit the Taj Mahal. I want to meet the guy who's been fixing my computer!

The bartender noticed a guy sitting at the bar was pouring his drink into the palm of his hand. "What in the hell are you doing?" he asked. The man looked up and said, "Getting my date drunk!"

The most powerful politician in the world is black. The best golfer in the world is black. The best female tennis player is black. The fastest racing driver in the world is black. The best sprinter in the world is black. Michael Jackson must be kicking himself!

Many years ago, a Danish couple converted to Mormonism and moved to rural Utah. A few years later, Mr. Madsen decided to take another wife. Mrs. Madsen disliked the idea, so he talked his neighbor, a Swedish immigrant farmer named Olson, into helping him. "Woman, we shall go into the barn and pray for guidance on our decision," said Mr. Madsen. "And whatever God tells us, that's what we'll do." The Madsens knelt in the barn. Mr. Madsen prayed aloud, "Heavenly Father, shall I take another wife?" Farmer Olson's voice boomed down from the rafters, "Brother Madsen, I command thee to take another wife." Mrs. Madsen sobbed uncontrollably. He comforted her, saying, "There, there, dear. A second wife will be an addition to the family. She will never replace you. I'll always love you just as much." Mrs. Madsen sobbed through her tears, "Oh, I don't care if you take a second wife. I just can't believe God is a Swede!"



GOT CAPTION? 7/22 v.2.0


GOT CAPTION? 7/22 v.3.0


VIDEO: Supercar Drive - 100 Exotic Cars

Cars in the video include (many, multiple of each):
Ferrari Enzo
Porsche Carrera GT
Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SV
Mercedes SLR McLaren
Ford GT
BF Performance Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 GTR-660
Ferrari 458 Italia
Aston Martin DBS
Ferrari 430 Scuderia 16M
Audi R8 V10 Spyder & Coupe
Aston Martin Virage Volante
Lamborghini Murcielago LP640
Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano
Aston Martin V12 Vantage
Ferrari 430 Scuderia
Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0
Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster & Coupe
Shelby Series 1
Ferrari Challenge Stradale
Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera
Ferrari California
Alpina B7
Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder & Coupe
Bentley Continental Supersport
Ferrari 612 Scaglietti
Ferrari F430 Spider & Coupe
Lamborghini Diablo VT Roadster
Mercedes C63 AMG
Aston Martin V8 Vantage
Porsche 997tt 997 Turbo
Ferrari 360 Spider
Ferrari F355 Spider
BMW E60 M5
BMW E92 M3
Ferrari 550 Maranello
Ferrari 575 Maranello
Porsche 996tt
Ferrari 512TR
Vipers, Jaguars, Bentleys, Rollys Royce, Z06s, and MORE!

17-year-old sexual assault victim could face charges for tweeting names of attackers


A Kentucky girl who was sexually assaulted could face contempt of court charges after she tweeted the names of her juvenile attackers.
Savannah Dietrich, the 17-year-old victim, was frustrated by a plea deal reached late last month by the two boys who assaulted her, and took to Twitter to expose them--violating a court order to keep their names confidential.
"There you go, lock me up," Dietrich tweeted after naming the perpetrators. "I'm not protecting anyone that made my life a living Hell." Her Twitter account has since been closed.
Attorneys for the attackers asked a Jefferson District Court judge to hold Dietrich in contempt for lashing out on Twitter. She could face up to 180 days in jail and a $500 fine if convicted. The boys have yet to be sentenced for the August 2011 attack.
"So many of my rights have been taken away by these boys," Dietrich told Louisville's Courier-Journal. "I'm at the point, that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it. If they really feel it's necessary to throw me in jail for talking about what happened to me as opposed to throwing these boys in jail for what they did to me, then I don't understand justice."
Dietrich was assaulted by the pair after passing out at a party. They later shared photos of the assault with friends.
"For months, I cried myself to sleep," Dietrich said. "I couldn't go out in public places."
On June 26, the boys pleaded guilty to first-degree sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism. Terms of their plea agreement were not released.
"They got off very easy," Dietrich, who says she was unaware of the plea agreement before it was announced in court, said in her interview with the newspaper.
"They said I can't talk about it or I'll be locked up," Dietrich tweeted after hearing, according to the paper. "So I'm waiting for them to read this and lock me up."
"[Protecting rapists] is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville," she added.
A hearing for the contempt of court charge is scheduled for July 30. Attorneys for Dietrich want it open to the media, while the boys lawyers want it closed.
Both the Gannett-owned Courier-Journal and Dietrich's attorneys "have filed motions to open the proceedings, arguing she has a First Amendment right to speak about what happened in her case," the newspaper said.
An online petition asking the judge to throw out the charges against Dietrich, launched Saturday, has already accumulated hundreds of signatures.
"[She] should not be legally barred from talking about what happened to her," Gregg Leslie, executive director of the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, told the Associated Press. "That's a wide-ranging restraint on speech."

VIDEO: Jinx the Wonderdog

VIDEO: Crazy, Scary Storm Clouds Roll Into Midlothian, Virginia

VIDEO: Devilish dog pulls boy into pool

VIDEO: Clueless canine squats on kid's head


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