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Australian drunk rides crocodile, gets bitten

The man had been thrown out of a pub in Broome, in northwestern Australia, for being drunk - whereupon he clambered over a barbed wire fence at Broome Crocodile Park carrying a flashlight, sought out a crocodile named Fatso, and and climbed onto his back.

Sixteen-foot-long saltwater crocodile Fatso wasn't keen on this, and spun round and bit the man on his right leg.

Fatso then surprisingly released the man, who hastily climbed back over the fence. He was taken to hospital with some 'very nasty lacerations' on his leg, according to Sergeant Roger Haynes of the Broome police.

Haynes added: 'Saltwater crocodiles ... once they get hold of you, are not renowned for letting you go. He's lucky to have escaped with his life.'

The man, a tourist from eastern Australia, told authorities that he had wanted to give Fatso a pat.

Teachers fired after in-school nudity

A New York high school fired two female teachers who were found one recent evening allegedly drunk and at least partially naked in a classroom, officials said.

New York High School Superintendent Linda Waite's report of the Nov. 20 incident said James Madison High School French teacher Cindy Mauro, 34, and Spanish teacher Alini Brito, 30, were found in a classroom at 8:50 p.m. by maintenance workers.

Waite said the workers reported seeing "a woman lying on the floor naked from the waist up" and a school safety officer summoned to the classroom said the women were "naked," with one "on her knees" and one "lying on the floor." The superintendent said the teachers appeared drunk, displaying slurred speech, red eyes and difficulty walking without stumbling.

Waite said there were students in the building at the time of the incident, as the annual SING! competition was underway. Mark Nussbaum, an attorney for Mauro and Brito, said the teachers have requested a formal hearing to contest the allegations.

Inept Thieves Drop Gun in Lap of Victim

A robbery victim had a force on her side other than police: The force of gravity. One of two people trying to rob a 69-year-old woman in her car on Friday night accidentally dropped his handgun into her lap. She grabbed the gun and turned it on the man, chasing him off, South Daytona police said.

The suspect also dropped a cell phone, which held pictures that helped the woman identify her robber to police, they said. At about on 7 p.m. Friday, Carol J. Costello had just left the Walmart on Beville Road when a black Chevrolet Impala pulled in front and forced her to stop. A passenger armed with a silver semi-automatic handgun wrapped in a towel jumped out and tried to break the driver's-side window with the gun, police said.

When that didn't work, he leapt onto the hood and smashed a large hole in the windshield. That's when the suspect's handgun fell through the hole and into Costello's lap. She grabbed the gun and aimed it at the suspect, who fled to the Impala.

Costello then tried to drive off, but her car struck the front of the suspects' car. She drove around the Impala and copied its tag number before it got away. From a picture on the suspect's cell phone, Costello was able to identify the man she said banged the hole in her windshield and dropped his gun. Police identified the suspect as Raymond Lewis Shepard, 25, of Daytona Beach. The Impala driver has not been identified.

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JOKE: An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time

An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off to the nearest water source, a bathroom and return with a glass of water.

But, then came the time when he returned empty-handed.

"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.

"A thousand pardons, O illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "An infidel is sitting on the well."

Hot monkeys love ice pops

Monkeys at a Chinese zoo are cooling off with ice lollies as temperatures reach 40 degrees.

Zhengzhou Zoo hands out two to each parched primate per day, and their keeper explained how they developed a taste for the them.

"The first time they didn't dare try them until we threw some into the water," he said. "A brave one tried it and screamed how good it was, which attracted others to fight for them."

He added that the monkeys now wait patiently for the lollies, and sit in a circle around him as they're handed out.

As the temperatures soar the zoo also provides showers for elephants, and feeds other animals cooling water melon.