Sunday, April 22, 2012

JOKE: Talking Dog


A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner appears to tell him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he asks "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a bull shitter . He's never been out of the yard."

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VIDEO: Spider spotted eating snake in Australia


A man spotted an incredible sight in a Freshwater backyard. As a frequent visitor to the beaches and wild rainforests of Cape York, kite surfer Ant Hadleigh thought he had seen it all. But the Cairns man was in disbelief after witnessing a golden orb spider slowly attempt to eat a brown tree snake at a mate's place in Freshwater.

"I thought it was pretty incredible," Mr Hadleigh said. "A few times the snake managed to get up and attack the spider, and the spider would run back up the web. I would have put my money on the snake for sure, especially seeing how big it was."

Mr Hadleigh estimated the tree snake to be around half a metre long and was alive for "an hour or more" after being caught in the spider's web, before finally succumbing to the arachnid's venom. "You could see the spider just chewing into it and the part which the spider was eating had gone all black and the insides were bubbling," he said. "It was pretty crazy."

Mr Hadleigh said the same spider devoured a wasp the day before, after an aggressive sparring match between both creatures. "The wasp kept trying to sting it, and it (the spider) used its feet to push the stinger away every time," he explained.


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