Tuesday, June 29, 2010

VIDEO: Brutus the Fish Retriever

VIDEO: Kayaker's Epic Battle with HUGE Tuna

Woman Gives Cops the Finger..Family Says Take Her She's Your's

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Joynee Carter, 19, of Stafford, Va., got into trouble June 6 for showing police officers "an obscene finger gesture."

Officers say Carter ignored a detour through a parking lot they had set up around a vehicle accident they were investigating. She allegedly nearly struck one of the deputies with her silver Honda. When officers called to the woman, she allegedly gave them the finger.

Officers followed her for 8 miles as Carter refused to stop. During the pursuit she ran a stoplight, and when she did pull over -- in her own driveway -- she locked her doors and windows and sounded her car horn.

A family member gave police a key to Carter's car, and they arrested her for felony eluding, obstruction of justice, reckless driving, and running a red light.

iPadded Cell

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Jacob Walker of Gilbert, Ariz., wanted an Apple iPad, so he decided to post an ad on Craigslist on June 5 offering a trade. The problem was what he wanted to trade for it.

Police became interested when a citizen called their tip line and reported the ad, complete with picture, offering the trade:


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If you can't quite read that, it says:

Wanted IPAD 32GB READ THIS!!! (gilbert)
i am willing to trade my 32 gb ipod touch 3rd generation and a quarter of DANK. blue dream straight outta cali. the ipod is in PERFECT condition. not one scratch it has been in the case the whole time and has never had screen cover removed!!!! let me know!!!!"
The photo with the ad shows the iPod in a case, and some "Cali" marijuana sitting on a scale, police spokesman Mark Marino said.

Detectives replied to the posting and set up a meeting with Walker. Marino says Walker arrived at the designated meeting place with another man, Joseph Velarde, and gave the marijuana to an undercover detective.

JOKE: PANTIES ON A PLANE


There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time.

The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'al but I'm gunna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane.

"Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked.

The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first."

The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floe esant orange panties." Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.

The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."

The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties..... "What? No panties?" the others asked in disbelief.

The third lady says "Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't wearin' any panties, cause if dis plane goes down, honey, dey always look fo da black box first.

LMAO

GOT CAPTION 2?

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'Fully sick TB rapper' to leave hospital

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Countless videos and over six months in isolation later, Christiaan van Vuuren - the TB-afflicted man who became a YouTube star after posting rap videos from quarantine - has finally been given the all-clear to leave hospital today. Rising to fame as the "Fully sick rapper", van Vuuren used YouTube and social media to stay connected with the outside world while being confined to a small Sydney hospital room, after he was struck down with a multi-drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis in December last year.

His spoof clips and comedic raps about his time in hospital - about 13 of them have been posted to YouTube - have been viewed nearly 1.5 million times and van Vuuren's online celebrity even got him a regular gig on prime time national news in New Zealand, rapping the news of the day. Asked how he felt about his imminent departure from hospital, van Vuuren said he was "buzzing". His clear test results only came back on Friday.


"I'm just pumped to get home and sleep in my own bed, breathe fresh air and enjoy some of the sunlight ... I'm just excited to get back into life in the real world again," he said in a phone interview. Out of his six months in isolation, van Vuuren has only left his room for x-rays, tests, and just in the last few weeks, limited outdoor time upstairs in hospital to get some vitamin D.

"The only things I could really do was exercise, go online or watch or read something," he said. His doctors say he has to lay low at home for a week or two to gauge the effects of stopping one of his six medications, which was causing nasty side effects. "Then I'm going to fricken run a muck," van Vuuren said, adding he would be able to properly celebrate his 28th birthday on July 6. But ongoing medication means he won't be able to drink alcohol for about another year.

56 Pound Woman Must Eat Every 15 Minutes Just to Stay Alive

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Lizzie Velasquez weighs just 56 pounds and has almost zero per cent body fat but she is not anorexic. In fact, the 21-year-old from Austin, Texas, must eat every 15 minutes to stay healthy. Miss Velasquez has a rare condition which prevents her from gaining weight even though she eats up to 60 small meals a day.

Despite consuming between 5,000 and 8,000 calories daily, the communications student, has never tipped over 59 lbs. "I weigh myself regularly and if I gain even one pound I get really excited," said 5ft 2 ins Miss Velasquez, who wears size triple zero clothes. "I eat every 15-20 minutes to keep my energy levels up.

"I eat small portions of chips, sweets, chocolate, pizza, chicken, cake, doughnuts, ice cream, noodles and pop tarts all day long, so I get pretty upset when people accuse me of being anorexic." She was born four weeks prematurely weighing just 2lb 10oz. Doctors found there was minimal amniotic fluid protecting her in the womb. "They told us they had no idea how she could have survived," said Miss Velasquez's mother Rita, 45, a church secretary.

Doctors speculated Lizzie might have the genetic disorder De Barsy syndrome but soon ruled it out as it became clear she did not have learning difficulties. "They kept on trying to figure out what was wrong with her but we treated her like any other child," said Mrs Velasquez, who charted her daughter's health in dozens of notebooks. She was taken to see genetic experts but they still could not diagnose her.

Miss Velasquez's case has fascinated doctors all over the world and she is part of a genetic study run by Professor Abhimanyu Garg, MD, at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas. Professor Garg and his team now believe Lizzie may have a form of Neonatal Progeroid Syndrome (NPS) which causes accelerated ageing, fat loss from the face and body, and tissue degeneration. People with PRS often have triangular and prematurely aged faces with a pointy nose.

He said: "I am aware of a small number of people that have similar conditions to Lizzie but each case is slightly different. We cannot predict what will happen to Lizzie in the future as the medical community are yet to document older people with NPS. However Lizzie is lucky to have healthy teeth, organs and bones so the outlook is good. We will continue to study her case and learn from her."

GOT CAPTION?

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VIDEO: Indian TV Host Slapped in the Face on Live TV

VIDEO: Angry With Noisy Vacuum, Office Worker Cuts Cord

JOKE: Back in the days of the Wild West

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Back in the days of the Wild West, a bandit ambushed a stagecoach. The bandit yelled,

"Everyone out!" Little Johnny asked the bandit, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?"

The bandit replied, "I said everyone!"

After everyone was standing outside the stagecoach, he yelled, "Everyone hand over all your money and jewelry!"

Little Johnny asked, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?"

The bandit replied, "I said everyone!" So they did. Then the bandit yelled, "Everyone take off all your clothes!"

Again Little Johnny piped up, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?"

The bandit replied, "I said everyone!"

When everyone was undressed, the bandit yelled, "Now everyone of you womenfolk climb inside the stagecoach so I can have sex with you!"

Before Little Jimmy could speak, his old ancient grandmother looked him straight in the eye and said, "He said everyone!"

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