Friday, February 24, 2012

JOKE: A lady walks into Tiffany's.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to
Inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little 'whoops' and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her and he's good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's. He politely greets the lady
With, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this
lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam . . If you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price ".

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VIDEO: Children barred from Florida church where sex offender preaches

A Florida church has caused outrage by turning away children from its popular Sunday services to cater to a pastor who is a registered sex offender. The decision to allow convicted child molester Darrell Gilyard into the pulpit has angered neighbouring pastors and members of the congregation of the Christ Tabernacle Missionary Baptist church in Jacksonville. Gilyard, 49, is allowed no contact with minors under the terms of his release from a three-year jail sentence for abusing a 15-year-old girl at another church in 2009. As a result church leaders have made his services "adults only".

Parishioners claim security guards hired by the church have begun refusing admission to families with children, including a woman who tried to attend on Sunday with a two-year-old boy. Instead, they say, children are directed to remain "off site" while Gilyard is preaching, and they accuse the church of dismantling its playground to keep them away. Since Gilyard was hired last month, soon after his December release from jail, the church in Northside, one of Jacksonville's poorest, mostly black neighbourhoods, has become the scene of angry exchanges between protesters and his supporters.

A group of demonstrators calling itself the New Black Panther party clashed with churchgoers and promised to protest each time Gilyard led a service. "We came because the children who we should be teaching and preaching cannot come out today," said Mikhail Muhammad, the group's leader. "The black ministers in the city of Jacksonville ought to be ashamed of themselves. How can you say you're a follower of Christ but you won't stand up and speak out against this injustice?" Despite the protests, the church appears to have benefited from Gilyard's notoriety. His first service in January drew an estimated 150 people, up from a regular attendance of only five to 10, with dozens attending the most recent service on Sunday.

Deacon Paul S Newman, chairman of the church ministry, said: "He was down on the ground, and the church was down on the ground, and we both needed to get up." But fellow Baptist leaders have denounced Gilyard's appointment, saying he needs to apologise to his victims and the community before being allowed to preach to others. Before his conviction on two counts of molesting minors, Gilyard was a shining star in the Baptist community, having spent 14 years preaching to thousands at Jacksonville's Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church. One mentor hailed him as one of the "most brilliant men in the pulpit".

VIDEO: Six-year-old boy 'died of shock' after being locked up in darkened room at school

Six-year-old Pankaj Singh, from Karnal in India, who had been locked up in school for failing to complete his homework, died after his family claims he failed to come to terms with the harsh punishment. A student of Rajkul Senior School, Kamela, in Gharonda subdivision, Pankaj had allegedly been locked up in a dark room on December 27 last year to reprimand him for his 'negligence'.

When the Dera Gandhi village resident didn't reach home after school was over for the day - and everyone had gone home - his family raised an alarm. They claimed that they found Pankaj unconscious inside the room. Allegedly, the school had forgotten that they had detained him. 'Pankaj stopped eating properly and had to be admitted to the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Sciences in Rohtak,' Mahipal, Pankaj's uncle said. But the sensitive child struggled to come to terms with the harassment he had faced in school, he added.

Pankaj's father Jasvir Singh said that after his son showed signs of recovery, he was discharged from the hospital and was sent back to school. Things were fine until he attended the class of the teacher who had allegedly punished him earlier. The boy fainted and had to be hospitalised. He was discharged on February 11 and passed away on Sunday night. Jasvir and his family reported the matter to the local police on Monday, alleging that the private English-medium school had caused the death of their child.

Sandeep Singh, vice-president of the school, denied the teacher had punished Pankaj. The child was suffering from some disease which led to his death, he claimed. The village panchayat stepped in, attempting a truce between Pankaj's family and the school. The panchayat has reportedly directed Jasvir not to talk to the police until they decide on the matter. Based on their assurances, the family cremated the child, without any autopsy being carried out. Neelam P. Kasni, the Karnal deputy commissioner, however defended the school. 'Pankaj's family had attempted to blow the issue out of proportion. The family accused the school of harassment after two months of the incident, only after the child died,' the official said.

VIDEO: Dog Freaks Out When Toilet Flushes

VIDEO: Killer Whale Speaks "Motor Boat"

I posted this back in September but I really like this video so here it it again plus I know new friends haven't seen it. These creatures amaze me. Love whales and dolphins. My favorite are beluga whales.

"Luna was an orphan orca-boy who lost his family and, after that, started to seek contact with people."

Photobucketa beluga whale and a friend

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VIDEO: Gay Teen Records Coming Out To His Mom


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