Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Illinois Sheriff caught in station wagon sex with another man


"Two guys don't usually do this stuff at home," justified a man caught engaging in a sex act with the local sheriff, as to why they were performing said sex act in a 1994 Ford Escort station wagon parked behind an Irish bar.
Local police found their Sheriff, Keith Kellerman, 48, in the station wagon with J. Ian Stennett, 31 at 1:15am on Friday morning. Stennett's pants were allegedly unzipped and his shirt undone. In Missouri, being in the presence of another man who has his fly down qualifies as a sex act. The men are also said to have admitted to "making out."

The couple were cited with public indecency before being driven to their respective home by a designated driver.

Kellerman has been The Law in Pinkneyville, Illinois a town of 25,000 near St. Louis, since 1998. He began his career in law enforcement working in a correctional facility after receiving an honorable discharge from the Navy in 1992.

Unfortunately, details of how two large men managed to actually "make out" in a '94 Escort wagon are not available. We're betting it was a bit awkward as well as chilly, lows in Pinckneyville are currently in the 40s.

JOKE: Donald MacDonald left his beloved Scotland to study at an American university

Donald MacDonald left his beloved Scotland to study at an American university. After living in the dorm only a few weeks, he wrote home to mother about his ill-mannered, noisy neighbors. "Mama, the man in the room to my right bangs on the wall all night. The one on the left just screams and screams all night long."

"Oh Donald!" she wrote back. "How do you manage to put up with those awful noisy Americans?"

Donald wrote back, "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I spend every evening here in my room, quietly playing my bagpipes!"


Two Scots, Archie and Jock, were discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding over a couple o' pints. "Och, it's gonna be grand," said Jock. "Everything's organized already: the flowers, the church, the cards, the reception, the rings, the minister, even my stag night." Archie nodded approval. Jock continued, "I even bought a new kilt fer the wedding."

"A kilt?" exclaimed Archie, "That's braw. You'll look purty smart in that! And what's the tartan?"

"Och," replied Jock, "She'll probably wear white!"



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VIDEO: Pakistani man cuts off wife's nose, lips for spending too much time with her family

A teenage Pakistani woman Monday told of her terror as her husband chopped off her nose and lips in a furious marital row, and threatened to kill herself unless the police brought him to justice.
The horrifying case underscores the brutal violence suffered by some women in Pakistan, where a domestic violence bill lapsed in 2009 after being held up in the Senate due to objections from religious parties.
Salma Bibi, 17, said her husband, 22-year-old Ghulam Qadir, subjected her to a beating, then bound her hands and feet with rope and hacked into her face with a razor in a remote village in the southwestern province Baluchistan.
"He repeatedly slapped my face and then went into the room and brought with him a locally made, sharp razor," she told AFP, speaking Baluchi in remarks translated by her uncle from a hospital bed in central Multan city.
"I started shouting in panic. He tied my hands and foot with a rope and chopped off my nose and lips," she added.
The teenager said police refused to register a case when her family complained about the attack, and threatened to kill herself without justice.
"I want justice and if it is not delivered to me, I will immolate myself in front of the Supreme Court.
"I will not sit in peace until my husband is brought to justice and gets punishment for the crime he committed," she added.
Ghulam and Salma married last year and live in the village of Karkana, 475 kilometres (300 miles) southwest of Islamabad.
Local officials insisted they were searching for Ghulam and would arrest him when caught.
"They often had quarrels as the girl used to spend more time with her parents," said Nadir Khan, an administration official in Musa Khel district, part of violence-torn Baluchistan, which borders Afghanistan and Iran.
Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani has demanded action in the case, but many cases of violence against women in Pakistan go unpunished.
Human rights groups say Pakistani women suffer severe discrimination and widespread domestic violence, including so-called "honour" killings when a victim is murdered for allegedly bringing dishonour on her family.
Ali Dayan Hasan, Pakistan director at Human Rights Watch, told AFP that domestic violence is a "serious, endemic problem in Pakistan" and called on the government to revive efforts to outlaw domestic violence.
But he praised the current parliament for a "fairly impressive" record on passing other legislation designed to protect women's rights.
A recent law against sexual harassment, for example, is "some of the most progressive and cutting edge in the region," he said.


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