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Turtle Girl Baffles Doctors

A girl dubbed the human turtle has baffled medics with an amazing series of tumors linking up across her body.

The tumors - made of massively swollen blood or lymph vessels - give 23-year-old Tian Yunting the appearance of a hard scaly skin.

But in fact, her rare medical condition means that even the slightest knock or jolt could burst the swollen vessels and she would bleed to death.

Tian has even had to give up college because the bus journey over bumpy unmade roads could have killed her. "Even when I got there I couldn't sit down because the hard chairs might burst," she explained.

Doctors in Zhangjiajie, southern China, say the condition is caused by a rare genetic deficiency called angiomas - but have never seen it on such a large scale.

"It can be controlled by regular removal of the tumors but that has to be done in hospital because there will be a lot of bleeding. This is the worst case we've ever seen," said one surgeon.

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JOKE: the Barber

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week. " The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful."

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.