Monday, July 25, 2011

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JOKE: The Pope and the Mafia

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The Mafia was very dissatisfied with the Pope's new policies and decided to pay him a visit. They made him an offer he could not refuse: he had to make love to a woman. The Pope was flabbergasted but he knew there was no recourse but to do as he was told. He did insist on three conditions before he would agree to do as he was instructed.
The Pope said "first the woman musta be a blind, so she canna not see who does this to her."

"Second, she must be a mute so she no canna tell anyone about this."

The Mafia agreed to these two conditions.

"What's the third condition Your Holiness?"

The Pope answered, "third she must have a bigga boobs...boomba boomba boomba".

GOT CAPTION? 7/25


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GOT CAPTION? 7/25 v.2.0


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Indian Toddler Has 34 Fingers and Toes

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Fifteen-month-old Akshat Saxena has 14 fingers and 20 toes, which are a result of a congenital defect so rare that there is no name for it in medical literature.

"Seventeen years ago, I operated upon a girl who had seven fingers in one hand, which is called a mirror hand condition. Thirty-four fingers and toes hasn't been reported anywhere," said Dr PP Kotwal, head of orthopaedics department, All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), who will do the corrective surgery in phases.

Akshat's father Manoj Saxena, who lives in Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh, said he was astounded when his wife delivered a baby with 34 fingers on March 27 last year, just a couple of days after he read about a similar case in China of a girl born with 21 fingers in both hands.

A team of four doctors from the department of orthopaedics will conduct the surgery, which would include removing extra fingers and creating thumbs. "We have to ensure all the fingers get individual blood supply, otherwise we will have to use vein grafts. The boy doesn't have a thumb, so we would need two of his fingers to create two thumbs," said Dr Kotwal.

Saxena has been coming to AIIMS since Akshat was four months old, but doctors had to wait for him to turn a year old to perform a corrective surgery. The boy is undergoing various tests and doctors plan to operate upon him next week.

Woman Kicked Off Flight For Allegedly Wearing No Panties

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A Harlem financial consultant wants JetBlue to pay for booting her off a Florida-bound flight after an airline worker accused her of not wearing panties.

Malinda Knowles, 27, claims in a Queens Supreme Court lawsuit that a JetBlue supervisor put a walkie-talkie between her legs to see what she had on under her baggy T-shirt.

"He said, 'I don't want to see your panties or anything but do you have any on?'" Knowles recalled yesterday.

"I didn't want to show him anything. He wanted me to basically show him my crotch. I was completely humiliated. It was vulgar. It was macho. It was rude."

She said fellow passengers on the July 13, 2010, flight to West Palm Beach watched in horror as she was confronted.

The former fashion model said she was wearing a baggy blue T-shirt over a pair of dark denim short-shorts she had tossed on after waking up at 4 a.m.

Knowles said she was escorted off the plane at LaGuardia Airport.

She was taken to a hangar, where she lifted up her T-shirt to prove she met the dress code.

"'Oh, she's wearing shorts,'" the JetBlue fashion police responded, according to Knowles.

"It was really crazy," she said. "I've never had a corporate employee ask me about my underwear."

Her lawyer, Brian Dratch, is seeking unspecified damages in the civil claim that accuses the airline worker of assault and battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

"This caused plaintiff great embarrassment and humiliation to be expelled from the flight for no reason at all in front of a fully booked flight," Dratch said in the suit.

A JetBlue spokeswoman declined to comment.

After showing off her shorts, Knowles returned to the plane, but was told by the same walkie-talkie-wielding supervisor that the pilot would not take off with her aboard.

"He said, 'The captain is refusing to fly you today. We need to remove you from the flight,'" said Knowles, quoting the supervisor. "We need to remove you from the flight."

As passengers grew upset and grumbled about the delay, Knowles acquiesced.

She was delayed four hours and put on a later JetBlue flight to Florida,where she had a business meeting.

"'You should get a lawyer,'" a fellow passenger told her as she walked off the plane.

"I really feel like the guy just wanted to demean me in some way," she said. "Maybe he thought I was cute. Even so, it was totally inappropriate."



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