Sunday, May 15, 2011

JOKE: JEWISH ONE-LINERS


The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that it is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.
There's big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie? It's called, "Debbie Does Dishes."
What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position? Facing Tiffany's.
When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
A Jewish boy come home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful? What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "You go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
Where does the Jewish husband hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."
A Jewish telegram: "Start worrying. Details to follow."

VIDEO: This Bus Driver Would Make Me Very Nervous

this Italian bus driver has been suspended after passengers caught him driving, texting and talking on a mobile phone at the same time.
he was taking instructions on the mobile on how to set up email on his smartphone while using his elbows to steer through Rome’s notorious traffic.

this Italian bus driver has been suspended after passengers caught him driving, texting and talking on a mobile phone at the same time.
he was taking instructions on the mobile on how to set up email on his smartphone while using his elbows to steer through Rome’s notorious traffic.

Now That's a Horse Of A Different Color



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What’s one way to stand out in the show ring? Wear stripes!

After Zack the zebra kept jumping out of his field, Sammi Jo Stohler figured he might have a knack for having fun over fences. “I had to build an 8' fence around the property because he kept jumping out,” she said. “He can clear 5' without a problem; he just walks up to a fence and ends up on the other side of it. I said, ‘I bet he can do it with a rider,’ and yep, it was no problem.”

Zack took quickly to the fences. “He’s large pony size, but he jumps very easily. The first time I pointed him at it, I just put it really low and showed him this is what we’re doing,” said Stohler. “And he said, ‘Oh yeah, I got that.’ He likes jumping, and going higher was no problem.”

With Zack’s ability, Stohler saw the opportunity to prove that zebras can do many different things. “Everyone always asks ‘Can they jump?’ or ‘Can you do this with them?’ and I always like to see what I can accomplish,” she said.

Stohler grew up riding horses on a ranch in eastern Oregon. She embarked on a career of training horses and gradually expanded to other, more exotic, species.

“As I was training horses, I kept hearing, ‘You can’t train zebras, they’re untrainable.’ I said, ‘Why?’ To say something is untrainable implies that it can’t learn, and we all know that if they couldn’t learn, they’d all be extinct. They have to be able to learn and adapt. Obviously, the burden lies on the trainer to be able to train them,” Stohler said.

She got her first zebra about 10 years ago. “He was a dream to work with, and I’ve been hooked ever since. They’re very intelligent. When you teach them something, you don’t have to do a lot of review,” she said. “You train them something, put them away for a few months, then bring them back out, and it’s exactly as if you didn’t stop. A lot of horses need review over and over again before they’re consistent.”

Stohler has two zebras, Zack and Charlie, on her farm in Willis, Texas, as well as a zorse (a zebra-horse cross) and a zonkey (a zebra-donkey cross). She rides Zack frequently, especially on trail rides, and drives Charlie. Her exotic animal rehabilitation skills have led her to work with birds of prey, antelope, deer, elk, camels and badgers.

Stohler has shown locally, but she prefers to focus on training and working her animals at home. But she does enjoy watching equine competitions. “Last year, I got to go to the Devon Horse Show [Pa.] and just loved it. A good friend of mine introduced me to Devon, and I think I’m kind of addicted!” she said.

Zack, 6, came to Stohler two years ago after a former owner had trouble with him. “Sometimes people get a zebra and then lose interest. A lot of people don’t really know how to handle them, so they run into problems, and rather than trying to fix it, they give up and get rid of the zebra,” she said.



“Originally, I was going to work with him, get him over some of his issues, and then sell him again, but that’s not going to happen. He’s going to stay with me,” she added.

Initially, Zack didn’t want to be around people, especially new people. “He was picky about who he allowed to be around him, and he was worried and vocal about it. But as I’ve been working with him, he’s really come around and decided that people are a lot fun,” said Stohler. “Now, instead of going the other way when I go out to his field with a halter, he comes up to me, and he’s very jealous if I take another animal from the field. If I get on one of my mules or horses, he will follow along behind the whole time.”

According to Stohler, zebras tend to bond strongly with one person. “Sometimes they get so bonded to one person that that one person can do anything with them, but no one else can touch them. It’s common to have happen,” she said.

Although Zack had definitely developed a relationship with Stohler, she’s been conscientious to make sure he’s also comfortable around other people. He’s allowed others to groom him and to ride him.

Stohler is working toward being able to use Zack in clinics and demonstrations, but the show ring isn’t in the plans for the near future.

Police find man living with deceased fiance


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WICHITA, Kansas – Wichita police are investigating the death of a woman whose body was found in her home an estimated week after she died. 

Officers were checking the welfare of the 57-year-old woman in the 1000 block of S. St. Clair after a relative reported they had not spoken to her in a couple weeks. When they arrived, they were stopped by the woman’s 54-year-old fiancé, who did not want them to enter. 

“When the officers got there, there was a distinct odor that they smelled, which caused them to want to investigate further,” said Lt. Doug Nolte with the Wichita Police Department. “We didn't fight him. He was just resistant to let us get past him to get in, so the officers -- in their due diligence -- detained him to the point where they could get inside and check the welfare.”

Police found the woman dead in her bed. They believe she had been there for about a week. Officers do not suspect foul play and say her fiancé had been praying for her. 

“He did lead investigators to believe that he was expecting some divine intervention into the reviving of his fiancé,” said Lt. Nolte. 

An autopsy and toxicology tests will likely be done on the woman sometime Thursday to determine her cause of death.

The man was taken to a local hospital to be evaluated. 

Brazilian woman wins right to watch porn and masturbate at work

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Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality.

Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way she can relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot.

Ana had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Now after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, she is allowed to masturbate and watch porn using her work's computer.

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, now prescribes her with a cocktail of tranquillizers, leaving her only having to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

VIDEO: LMAO...CHICKEN TALK...fawk fawk fawk faaaaawk


VIDEO: One photo per day for 4.5 years in video

VIDEO: Surfing Cape Town South Africa

VIDEO: Funny Commercial/Parody on the Exorcist

VIDEO: Funny Japanese Sushi Commercial


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