Tuesday, March 16, 2010

JOKE: out for a drive in the country

Her Majesty, the Queen, and Her Royal Highness, Princess Diana, were out for a drive in the country. Suddenly, upon a quiet road, they were set upon and stopped by a highwayman. He forced them out of the car at gunpoint, and demanded their jewels.

"Give me your tiara, Ma'am," demanded the robber.

"I'm sorry," replied the Queen. "I did not wear my tiara today."

"Well then, give me your ring, your highness!" demanded the robber.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't wear my ring today," replied the Princess.

Frustrated, the robber waved them away, and drove off with the Bentley, getting at least something for his efforts. The Queen, Princess and their chauffeur made it back to Windsor castle, where they related their ordeal to the Queen Mother.

After the Queen Mother received an account of the robbery she turned to Queen Elizabeth and asked, "I thought that you wore your tiara today?"

"But I did. When I saw the robber pull us over, I hid the tiara in my private place."

The Queen Mother turned towards Diana and said, "And you - I thought you wore your ring today?"

"I did, but like Momsie, I hid the ring in my private place."

At this point the chauffeur interjected, "It's a shame, Ma'am, that Princess Margaret wasn't wi' us. We could have saved the Bentley!"

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Man hospitalized after TV dropped on head in assault

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A northwest Indiana man is in jail after allegedly dropping a TV on the head of a man he caught with his estranged wife in a Valparaiso motel room over the weekend.

William Smith, 46, is being held at the Porter County Jail for aggravated battery and domestic battery. Additional charges are expected to be announced Tuesday, and more may come depending on how the condition of the victim, Myron Burton, 48, changes.

Burton, of Pontiac, Ill., is at Porter hospital, according to Porter County Sheriff's Department Lt. Chris Eckert. The woman, Cora Smith, 44, of rural Valparaiso, also was treated at Porter for a broken arm.

Police are continuing to investigate what happened early Sunday in Cora Smith's room at the El-Kay Motel, at 53 W. U.S. 6, where she has been living since separating from William Smith.

According to police, William Smith, the couple's adult son and the son's girlfriend arrived at the motel around 1:30 a.m. Sunday. While the other two stayed outside, William Smith went to confront his wife, allegedly saying he was with the Valparaiso Police Department after knocking to get her to open the door.

"Whether he knew she was there with (Burton), we don't know," Eckert said.

Cora Smith told officers that as soon as her husband saw Burton, who also is William Smith's sister's husband, he pulled him off the bed and onto the floor, kicking and punching him. When she tried to call police on her cell phone, William Smith began hitting her and threw her to the ground as well, before returning to beat Burton again.

Then as the man lay injured on the floor, William Smith dropped the motel's television set on Burton's head and left.

When police arrived, Burton was laying naked on the floor, unconscious but breathing heavily, with a pool of blood under his head and the TV next to it. He had bruises and cuts on his torso and head, according to the police report.

William Smith was taken into custody "a very short time after," Eckert said.

He estimated that within an hour of the attack, Smith called his son and told him he was at an address on Heritage Road in South Haven. The son gave that information to police, and William Smith waited for officers to arrive.

Uncle who 'married' 10-year-old girl charged with sex crimes

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A Mound Minnesota man accused of abusing his niece told police that his behavior was biblically justified.

The marriage took place during a family vacation to Yellowstone National Park during the summer of 2001.

Before long, James Wallace Fall began alternating nights in the beds of his 49-year-old wife and his new "bride" in Mound.

Fall, now 58, saw nothing wrong with the fact that the bride was his niece or that she was 10 when they "married," according to Mound police.

He told the girl that it was God's will that they marry. He told police this justified their union, legally and morally.

"He absolutely believes what he's saying," said Jami Wittke, a detective with the Mound Police Department, who interviewed Fall. "He said the Bible tells him that it's OK to have a relationship with your niece, to marry someone" that young.

Fall was arrested in January and charged with criminal sexual conduct by the Hennepin County attorney's office.

Part of the reason for Fall's confidence in his own righteousness, say people who know him, is that he sees himself as being chosen by God.

"I've talked to family members and more than one has said Jim Fall believes he's a prophet of God, of Christ," Wittke said. "They were afraid of him."

His wife, Rosemary Fall, was also arrested after the unidentified victim, who is now 19, told police that her aunt had known about the arrangement and done nothing.

"She was well aware of everything that was going on," Wittke said. "The investigation shows she was told about it while still at Yellowstone."

James Fall, who will be in court later this month, cited quotations from the Bible to support his position, police said. The passages, many from Corinthians, largely deal with sex and marriage.

"Everything is permissible for me," from First Corinthians 6:12, was one of Fall's favorite passages, police said.

"The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband," from First Corinthians 7:4, was another.

The arrangement, investigators believe, lasted for almost nine years until the young woman walked into the Mound Police Department in January and bore witness against her uncle.

The niece told investigators that Fall maintained the relationship through coercion, threatening to kick her and her two brothers out of the house if she didn't go along.

In recent years police were called to the home to talk with Fall's wife and the niece about alleged abuse, but both denied it, according to police reports.

"He really believes that this is OK," Mound Police Chief James Kurtz said. "I don't know how long he's believed that."

James Fall has been in the Hennepin County jail for weeks awaiting trial.

He is scheduled to be in Hennepin County District Court later this month as part of a custody hearing involving a 16-year-old nephew living at his home who was taken away by the county after the sexual abuse allegations surfaced.

David Risk, Fall's lawyer, said he will ask the court to conduct a mental health evaluation on Fall to see how competent his client might be.

Fall's punishment, Risk said, might ultimately hinge on his religious beliefs.

"From a religious perspective this is very unusual," said Risk, who does not expect to use polygamy or religious freedom as a defense. "We need to explore his mental health. Mr. Fall has a firm set of beliefs. That is something we will have to look at. Some of his beliefs are outside the norm and would cause someone to question his competency."

Wittke and other Mound police officers said Fall knew what he was doing and had ready arguments about what he did and how he lived.

Investigators have not been able to determine whether Fall, who calls himself a Christian, has any formal religious training. Wittke said she was told that Fall's father was a minister at a church in Minneapolis decades ago.

Wittke said no one who knows Fall has come forward to say he needs medication or hears voices or somehow is not in control of his actions.

"He was very calm ... very open to talking about it," Wittke said. "He did not hold anything back. I think that when this all got started he searched the Bible looking for scriptures to tell him that it was all OK."

Police also are investigating possible fraud, a murder allegation and just how the victim and her two siblings came to live in the Fall home after the death of their father.

Following Fall's arrest, family members contacted the Anoka County Sheriff's Department to have investigators look at whether James Fall might have killed his brother-in-law, Phillip Johnson, possibly by poisoning him 10 years ago.

"We reviewed it," said Lt. Paul Sommer. "We talked to the medical examiner's office and everything was done ... the coroner said [Johnson] died of a heart attack."

The question of how the children ended up in the home after Johnson's death has yet to be answered.

"We cannot confirm he has any legal status with the children," Kurtz said. "We can't find any legal documents that he has legal guardianship."

That has spurred allegations that the Falls were taking monthly Social Security checks from the children and using that money to live on.

Police said they also are checking computers in the home for child pornography. Wittke said that Fall showed the victim pornography that usually depicted younger girls and older men.

As far as police can tell, there appear to be no other victims in the case. But a final ruling on that probably won't be made until after the computers are analyzed and the investigation is completed.

"It's a strange case," Kurtz said. "I've never encountered one like this before."

World's Shortest Man Dies

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(March 15) -- He Pingping, the world's shortest man, has died. He was 21.

The cherub-faced, 2-foot-5-inch Guinness World Record holder was in Rome for a TV show when he complained of chest pains. He was admitted to a hospital two weeks ago and died Saturday of what Guinness describes as "heart complications."

"From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew he was someone special," said Guinness World Records editor-in-chief Craig Glenday.

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He Pingping of China measured just over 29 inches tall. His status as the world's shortest man made him internationally famous.
Glenday was among the Guinness team that ventured to Wulanchabu, a city in northern China's Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region, to measure He in 2008 and verify his claim to be the world's shortest man.

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To earn one of the most famous world records, the 18-year-old had to be measured three times in a single day to get his precise height, which was 29.37 inches.

In a matter of weeks, He became an international celebrity.

In 2008, he posed standing between the knees of Svetlana Pankratova -- otherwise known as the world's leggiest woman. The 6-foot-5 Russian has gams that measure 4 feet, 4 inches, from heel to thigh. Together they celebrated the release of the 2008 Guinness book.

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"I am very sorry he is gone," Sultan K�sen, the world's tallest man, told AOL News. "I am just glad we had the opportunity to know each other and become friends."

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Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal(above), who stands at 22 inches tall, is in line to become the next record holder as the world's shortest man.
He met the 8-foot-1 Turk in Istanbul in January, when the two got together for the opening of the "Guinness World Records Live! Roadshow" at Forum Istanbul.

"I'm really happy that he was willing to travel to Turkey," K�sen said.

"Pingping shows us that, despite the challenges we face, we can still make the most of life, and for such a small man, he made a huge impact around the world," Glenday said. "He will be greatly missed."

The man most likely to claim He's record is 22-inch-tall Khagendra Thapa Magar. While he's shorter than He, the Nepalese teen has yet to reached his 18th birthday, making him not quite a man.

It is expected that Magar will claim the title later this year.

3 Year Old Birthday Boy Abandoned at Restaurant for 36 Hours

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WARREN, Mich. - Workers at the Caesarland were shocked to find a three-year-old boy all alone on Saturday night. He was left behind after his birthday party ended.

The birthday party was a celebration at a Caesarland in Warren complete with pizza and presents. It was a Saturday filled with fun, that is until the three-year-old found himself alone at about 9:00 p.m.

"The party ended at around 7:30 p.m.," said Warren Police Commissioner William Dwyer. "This is being treated as a criminal matter... There's neglect. There's abandonment charges possibly coming."

36 hours passed from Saturday night until Monday afternoon when the boy's father came back to Caesarland looking for him. Since Saturday, the three-year-old boy has been in the custody of Child Protective Services. Monday, the parents gave the following explanation to police.

"The father is indicating... that he thought that the mother had picked up the three-year-old. They're separated, but they live in the same apartment complex. The mother is telling us that she thought that the father or grandmother had taken the three-year-old home," Dwyer said.

In nearly 50 years as a cop, Dwyer says this is one of the most outrageous and disturbing things he has seen. The three-year-old is not being released from foster care until further notice.

"How can they forget or assume that the other parent for two days has their son? I mean, there's no excuse for this," said Dwyer.

Warren Police have turned over their findings to the Macomb County Prosecutor's Office. They will decide if there will be criminal charges.

VIDEO: LXD League of Extraordinary Dancers

Woman wants to be fattest in the world

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Donna Simpson already weighs 600 pounds, but she is determined to nearly double her size to become the world's fattest woman.

The 42-year-old from New Jersey, US, is set on reaching the 1,000 lb mark in just two years. Remarkably she insists she is healthy, despite now needing a mobility scooter when she goes shopping.

Donna, who wears XXXXXXXL dresses, eats mounds of junk food and tries to move as little as possible.

Ms Simpson already holds the Guinness World Record as the world's fattest mother, when she gave birth in 2007 weighing 532 pounds.

She needed a team of 30 medics to deliver her daughter Jacqueline during a high-risk Caesarean birth.

Yet although she can only move 20ft before needing to sit down, she wants to be even bigger. 'I'd love to be 1,000lb,' she said.

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