Friday, March 9, 2012

I've Been Busy

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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

VIDEO: The World's Smallest Athlete

Jess Rogers is making a big splash in the world of swimming - as she battles to qualify for the London 2012 paralympic games next year. The 14-year-old, from Springfield, VA, suffers from caudal regression syndrome (CRS) meaning she was born with two tiny legs she cannot use. But that hasn't stopped Jess from becoming the world's smallest athlete. She trains hard every week to make her greatest wish come true - to make the US national paralympic swimming team. Footage shows her at home with dedicated mum Phyllis, who adopted Jess as a baby from Brazil. It's not just at swimming Jess amazes, even at home she gets involved in everything she can - from housework to riding her special bike - using only her hands to walk.

VIDEO: Drunk Man vs. Hill

More Funny videos & Funny pictures

VIDEO: Cat Says No! to Bath..Funny!!

VIDEO: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks woman


A neighbor has stalked Edna Geisler for two months. He lurks in her front yard, screeching at her constantly, even jumping out occasionally and attacking her when she dares wander outside alone. "I'm afraid to go out of my house," said Geisler, 69. "I have to go to the post office at 6 o'clock in the morning to avoid him."

When she returned home with groceries recently, Geisler couldn't get in her front door. "I had to go next door to the neighbors and have him use a push broom to keep him away while I brought the groceries in," Geisler said. Her stalker is a large, mature, tom turkey who believes Geisler's front yard in Commerce Township, Michigan, is his. Geisler said she calls him Godzilla.

Each day at about 7 a.m. he wanders in, coming from nearby woods on state land behind Geisler's home, where a flock of wild turkeys live. Usually, he returns to the woods by about 7 p.m. Around Geisler, he clucks loudly, runs at her and flies in bursts at her torso, usually delivering a sort of fat-feathered chest-bump. One such bump hurt her back; another time he grabbed her with a claw.

Geisler has tried changing her schedule to outsmart the bird. "I slipped out and he wasn't there, but he was there waiting for me when I got back." Geisler said she is just hoping the bird is gone by summer so she can work in her garden without fear. "Every time I eat turkey I smile," she said. "I'd like to do that to him."

VIDEO: Baby Monkey versus kitten

California man arrested in killing of girlfriend with cannon


Authorities arrested a 39-year-old man suspected of killing his girlfriend on Tuesday by shooting a homemade cannon into a room of their remote California trailer home.
Richard Dale Fox, who was treated for wounds he suffered in the blast, was booked on suspicion of detonating an explosive device in a manner resulting in death, said San Diego Sheriff's Department homicide Sergeant David Martinez.
The bizarre blast and death occurred just north of the California town of Potrero, which is across the border from Tecate, Mexico, and less than 40 miles inland from San Diego.
Martinez said it was "too early to say" if the Tuesday morning blast was accidental, but authorities had previously indicated Fox was drinking at the time and that he was distraught as emergency responders arrived at the trailer home.
Authorities declined to comment on the nature of the homemade cannon or the projectile it fired, but Martinez said Fox used explosive powder from fireworks to ignite the contraption.
The woman inside the home who was killed by the cannon blast was Fox's 38-year-old girlfriend, Martinez said. Officials had earlier described her as Fox's wife and had said her age was 33.
The name of the woman, who police said died at the scene of shrapnel wounds, was not immediately released.
She was inside the trailer home with the couple's 4-year-old child and three adults, and all those occupants were unharmed, Martinez told reporters.
Fox was transported to a hospital with leg injuries suffered in the blast. After his treatment, Fox was booked into jail. No bail has been set.
The couple's mobile home trailer, dotted with solar panels on the roof, is located in mountainous terrain strewn with boulders, in a rural area where sheep and dogs occasionally wander the roads.
Homicide investigators were combing through the property hours after the blast.

Flatulent man faces County Durham club ban


A working men's club is threatening to ban one of its members for his flatulence.

Dave Marriott has been causing a stink and now he has been warned that if he doesn't stop, he will be barred.

Mr Marriott, 49, from County Durham, England said: "I'm not a scruffy man, I'm just afflicted with wind.

"I only drink two days a week, on a Saturday and Sunday. But if I drink too much on an afternoon then I'm flatulent on an evening and it can be really bad.

"I was brought up in front of the club's board, which included a couple of my friends, because a few people had been complaining.

"In fairness it's not just me, but I'm probably the worst.

"In the past I've actually been awarded pints for clearing a bar at closing time, when the landlord wanted everyone to leave.

"But I'm not proud of myself and now I've received a reprimand and a final warning. If I carry on letting off then I'll be out."

Mr Marriott, who has been a member of the Grange Villa Workmen's Social Club for more than 30 years, said he is not aware if he suffers from any particular medical problem.

"I don't know that I have a problem and my brother is just the same," Mr Marriott said, "Though I've not asked a doctor.

"There's quite a bit of flatulence down the club and they seem to be cracking down - perhaps it's because women are now allowed in the bar.

"I've tried changing from Guinness to lager but it's made no difference, so whether I need to go and see a chemist and see if they can give me anything I don't know.

"I've nothing against the club for doing this - in fact it's all been a bit comical and I could see one or two of the committee sniggering as they told me I had to stop."

A spokesman for the club confirmed disciplinary action had been taken, but declined to comment further.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

JOKE: Did the Mailman Come Yet?

Tom comes home from work one afternoon and is stopped by his neighbor, "It may be none of my business, but this afternoon a strange man came to your house and your wife let him in. I was mowing grass between our houses and I happened to look in your window and I saw them making wild, passionate love."

Tom asked,"Was he short, about 5'8?"

"Yes, "the neighbor answers, "I believe he was."

"Did he have a droopy eye, and appear drunk," Tom asked?

"Yes," the neighbor agrees.

"Then that was the mailman, Jim," Tom responds. "That guy will screw anything."

VIDEO: Last man in Hawaiian volcano town gives up after 26 years


Thick black lava from the Kilauea Volcano has covered the last standing property in the town of Royal Gardens on the south eastern side of Hawaii's Big Island. Jack Thompson built his house on the island in 1983, but an eruption of lava threatened it shortly afterwards.

Fortunately, the flow stopped right behind it, sparing the house. However, the latest lava flow forced him from the building on March 2, before overcoming the property over the weekend. Returning to his former property, Thompson said he was amazed to see the scale of damage just one day after.

"It's like a funeral. You know there are trees here that I've grafted and all of them were producing. Doesn't look like any of them are going to survive. This is just going to be a big piece of rock. Unbelievable." Nearly 200 residents once lived in Royal Gardens but Thompson believes this community has run its course.

"I think it's about the end of it. I don't think anyone will be living up here anymore," he said. Large expanses of land have been buried by the lava over the past 26 years. A home in Royal Gardens was the first to be claimed by lava on the island, back in March 1983.

VIDEO: Mama Cat Thinks Kittens on TV Are Real

VIDEO: Robot Cheetah Runs 18 MPH, A New Record

VIDEO: Avalanche Destroys Ski Lift In France

VIDEO: Cute Goats in Sweaters Play with Little Girl

Monday, March 5, 2012


A man,new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life.

Satiated, the man asks the madam, "How much do I owe you?"

The madam motions for him to put away his money. She then pulls two hundred dollars out of a purse and gives it to him. She fends off all his attempts for an explanation.

Naturally, the man returns the following evening. He gets the same treatment, and is again given two hundred dollars.

The third night he does the same thing, but when he sees the madam she asks him for three hundred dollars. "Wait a minute," he says. "The first night you gave me two hundred dollars. The second night you gave two hundred dollars. Now you want me to pay you three hundred? Why?"

The madam smiles and says, "Tonight you weren't live on the Internet."

VIDEO: Worlds Largest Slingshot

Muslims destroy Christian-Jewish cemetery from WWII

VIDEO: Weird Grandpa Shoots Swimming Pool

VIDEO: Cat Fascinated by Humidifier

VIDEO: Saturday Night Live..Real Housewives of Disney

Sunday, March 4, 2012

JOKE: The Record Collector

A lady, who was an avid record collector, heard there was a new recording on the market so she dialed her local record store. In her haste, she mis-dialed the number and got a local bar. Before the bartender could say the establishment' s name, she blurted out: "do you have hot lips and seven kisses?"

After a short pause the bartender replied: "No, but I have hot balls and seven inches!"

She asked: "Is that a record?"

To which he replied: "No, but it's better than average!"

PRANK VIDEO: Scary Monster Funny

VIDEO: The Religion Of Dudeism..The Church of the Latter-Day Dude

Dudes are recognised in a new religion which is going head to head with the Jedi church as the second Hollywood-inspired faith. Despite sounding like a joke, The Church of the Latter-Day Dude, is battling to become an officially-recognised faith based on the cult film The Big Lebowski. More than 100,000 members of the church have been ordained as 'Dudeist Priests', in theory giving them the authority to preside over weddings, funerals and other religious events. American, Oliver Benjamin, 43, started the world's first online religion in 2005 after watching the hit Coen brothers movie, starring Jeff Bridges as Jeff Lebowski, a surreal, ironic, dope-smoking 40-something character nicknamed 'the Dude'. Based in the Thai hippy city of Chiang Mai, 500 miles north of Bangkok, Oliver, who now calls himself the Dudely Lama, claims to have ordained over 120,000 Dudeist priests worldwide. Oliver, a graphic designer from California, travelled the world for ten years, first watched the film in 2000 and then set up a website ( in 2005. Oliver hopes that Dudeism will form congregations all over the world in the coming years.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

VIDEO: Dog Loves Toy Mouse

Warning over watermelon-sized pine cones in Australia


A council in eastern Victoria has issued a warning about potentially dangerous pine cones falling from a tree in the town of Warragul.

The 120-year-old heritage-listed bunya pine in the grounds of the Courthouse Hotel has been dropping huge pine cones.

The Baw Baw Council says they weigh up to 22 pounds each.

Mayor Diane Blackwood says the cones are potentially lethal.

"These things are enormous," she said.

"They are the size of a watermelon, falling literally out of the sky from potentially 60 feet high.

"So you wouldn't want to be under one, I tell you."

The area was cordoned off while council workers removed the remaining pine cones.

VIDEO: Tongue Drum Music..Water Drops

VIDEO: My Best Friend, Themba The Hyena

Meet the 16-year-old school boy who is so close with his 14 stone pet HYENA that they kiss, cuddle and even eat together. Living in Africa means that this schoolboy of British descent has taken on a hyena as a pet rather than the puppy dog he might have got if his dad had stayed in Oxfordshire. Teenage animal trainer, Shandor Larenty, son of British lion wrangler, Alex Larenty from the Lion Park near Johannesburg, South Africa is such a chip off the old block that he was training juvenile lions from the age of eleven, and has now progressed to hyenas and cheetahs. But Shandor is closest with his best-friend, Thender the 18-month-old spotted hyena -- who will eat out of Shandor's mouth and even let him clean his teeth afterwards. Thender was rejected by his mother, so Shandor's dad, Alex agreed to take him in to live with four other hyenas at his lion park. In the wild they eat animals as large as wildebeest - and are ruthless scavengers known to chase even the king of the jungle, the lion, away from his meals.

VIDEO: Funny Scary Snowman Prank Top 10 Reactions

VIDEO: Big Cats + Mirrors = Funny

Because Tigers, lions, leopards (and every other species of cat) spend so much time grooming themselves, we decided to show them what they look like and we got some hilarious results

Friday, March 2, 2012

JOKE: A grandmother was pushing her grandchild around WalMart

A grandmother was pushing her grandchild around WalMart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket, she would say, "And here's something for you, Diploma," or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma," and so on.

Eventually a bewildered shopper who'd heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"

The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to college and this is what she came home with!"

VIDEO: Man Makes Fuel of Himself..Dies

A man is dead from severe burns after authorities say he accidentally drank gasoline and later set himself on fire.

Dead is Gary Banning, who neighbors say was visiting a friend at an apartment on Roosevelt Road in Havelock.

Police say they got a call around 9:55 p.m. and found the 43-year-old man with severe burns. He was transported to the Jaycee Burn Center in Chapel Hill where he died Tuesday morning around 6:00 a.m.

Police say they learned Banning had accidentally drank gasoline earlier in the day. He spit it out onto his clothing, but never changed clothes. Later in the evening, police believe Banning was smoking a cigarette, started to doze off when the fire accidentally erupted.

Havelock police say alcohol was involved and drugs possibly involved.

They say earlier in the day someone at the apartment was using gasoline to clean grease off their hands and left a glass jar containing gasoline on the kitchen counter.

Police say their investigation is ongoing.

Store Using Phrase "Where the Prices are Sofa King Low!" Told to Quit It


The Sofa King, which advertises its location in Northampton, England as "next to the cafe with the car on the roof", said it has been using the line on its shop, vehicles and advertising since it launched nine years ago.

It is not the first time the company has been in hot water over its risqu� advertising. The Sofa King admitted that the Northamptonshire police had received complaints in 2004 but that they had not been pursued by the Crown Prosecution Service.

The Advertising Standards Authority received three complaints from readers who saw an ad in the Northampton Herald & Post and found it offensive and unsuitable for general public display.

In its defense The Sofa King said the slogan referred to pricing and that the words had "not been changed or run together or punctuation used in a way intended to cause offence".

However, the ASA said that the phrase could be interpreted as a derivative of the swear word "fuck", which research had found to be a word "so likely to offend that it should not be used in ads at all, even when it was relevant to the name of a product".

The ASA said because of that the slogan was likely to cause serious or widespread offence and it banned the business from continuing to use the phrase "Sofa King Low" in its advertising.

VIDEO: A hamster, mad with power, makes a dog jump non-stop for his amusement

VIDEO: Controversial Baby Dynamics Yoga

Millions of people around the world were left stunned when a video of Lena Fokina doing 'baby yoga' broke on the internet. The 51-year-old Russian was filmed spinning and flipping babies above her head and behind her back in such an outlandish fashion that several websites banned the footage for glorifying what to many would be considered child abuse. In fact, the moves were so shocking that most conceded they were being performed on a doll as no sane person would consider them acceptable. However, we tracked Lena down to a seminar called "Parenting the Deliberate Way" in Dahab, Egypt, where parents from across Europe were paying her to perform the same moves on their infants, some just a few months old. But Lena, who is a qualified PE teacher in her native Russia, insists the practice is totally safe and actually beneficial to children.

VIDEO: Take a Ride in a 660 horsepower Ferrari FF

advance video to 3:20 and enjoy the aural experience that IS Ferrari in this unusual four seat, four wheel drive V12 equipped beauty

VIDEO: One Year Old Plays Drums..WOW

**Sharing a Bit of Me in Earlier Times**

This is a song I grew up with back about 1969. The band is called the Farquahr. They're from Branford, Connecticut and used to play summers in Nantucket Island/Cape Cod, Massachusetts and winters at Mount Snow, Vermont.

As a teenager and on into my twenties, I would hear these guys often at night after a day of skiing. This song in particular brings back the fondest of memories of days gone by; winters of skiing everyday from the first snow until the snow was all gone and evenings dancing to music at the local hotspots. I did this for about ten years from the time I graduated high school until it was time to move on to a real life and real jobs and not just scraping by, season to season. These were the happiest of times when I'd work teaching skiing, cooking, hotel front didn't matter the work. What mattered was I could ski everyday that there was snow.
I hope you enjoy this. With much code tinkering, here it is.

My Eggs Don't Taste the Same Without You


My coffee is cold it's sitting there by the stove
My juice and my toast are there too
My heart's in a shambles I can't eat my scrambles
My eggs don't taste the same without you

Well the chair where you sat is occupied by the cat
I wish you had taken him too
I can do very nicely with you once over lightly
My eggs don't taste the same without you

No more good morning kiss
No more I love you
No more that's how the dog bit the paperboy kid
My wasn't that big news

Well if you'd only come back I'd let you keep that old cat
Let you wear your curlers too
My hearts in a shambles I can't eat my scrambles
My eggs don't taste the same without you
Photobucketgot your ears on?

Thursday, March 1, 2012


An overweight man was waiting in line at a bank. There were two teenage boys in line behind him.

They were giggling and making fun of how fat the man was. After five minutes of this the man turned to the boys and asked them politely to stop, as he couldn't help his weight problem.

With this the boys asked: Oh, and why are you so fat Mister?

The Man turned around and replied: "Well, every time I screwed your mother, she gave me a cookie."

VIDEO: Toddlers fall out of moving car..survive unhurt

Two toddlers had an amazing escape when they got to their feet unhurt after falling out of a moving car.

A shocking CCTV clip from Turkey posted online shows the estate car's boot suddenly fly open as it drives down the street.

First one, and then the second small child falls out and onto the road, reports The Sun.

A shocked passer-by pulls over on his motorbike, while a pedestrian also heads over to check on the children.

But amazingly, the kids have only just hit the ground when they stand up and run to the side of the road.

They walk uncertainly down the street in the direction of their car, which reverses back towards them.

As their relatives exit their vehicle, some embrace the children while others look to be totally overcome with emotion.

Chinese villagers carry giant balloons of stolen natural gas to fuel their homes..Can You say KABOOOM?

If you thought heating your home during winter was tough, spare a moment for these villagers in China's Shandong Province.
They have been risking life and limb in the pursuit of warmth by carrying giant balloons full of natural gas from a nearby oil field back to their homes.
Too poor to afford the resource on the grid, they siphon their gas from an oil facility in Binzhou, where they connect their balloons to a canister near the extraction machinery.


Risking death: A woman carries a 15 foot long balloon full of natural gas which she siphoned from an oil plant in China's Shandong Province in order to heat her home

They then tentatively edge back with a potential bomb in their hands, being careful not to get too near any naked flames, of course. Some balloons can grow to six metres long and a metre wide.
It is not clear whether they are stealing the gas, although it is highly unlikely they are being allowed to do it.

Workers at the oil field have been trying to warn them of the obvious dangers, but to no avail.
One member of staff said: 'We warned them that it is like a hidden bomb at home, but they wouldn't listen'.
According to people in the area, the gas lasts for around five days, it was reported on Gizmodo.
One said: 'It's very convenient and quite safe. All villagers in this region are doing the same.'
There have not yet been any reports of the balloons exploding, but one elderly was lifted in the air when the wind got hold of it.


VIDEO: Stupid, foul mouthed girl doesnt know why we have leap years

#1 the poster is not the creator of this video..the poster found the video and thought it was so ignorant that he had to post it

#2 NSFW language

VIDEO: Robot Quadrotors Perform James Bond Theme

Robot quadrotors are becoming more and more advanced everyday. Amazingly, the University Of Pennsylvania made a special quadrotor concert where the tiny flying bots literally play the James Bond theme.

The four rotor flying machines are controlled entirely by an AI computer program with no human intervention at all.

VIDEO: Kitten Vs. Washing Machine


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