Tuesday, May 10, 2011

JOKE: My Very First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...

cow gif

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Rocket Man flies over Grand Canyon


Yves Rossy, better known as The Rocket Man, just successfully completed a trip across the Grand Canyon in his custom jet suit. This is how Thelma and Louise should have done it.
Rossy and his team did the stunt quietly, without the fanfare usually surrounding these types of events. No reporters were present, but he had his usual mix of cameras and a Breitling-sponsored helicopter following him.

The total trip took about eight minutes and involved soaring approximately 200 feet above the canyon. He landed on the Hualapai Reservation (home of the Grand Canyon Skywalk) and was classified by the FAA as an airplane for the flight.

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Man charged with multiple faceplants in women's buttocks

wtf arnold



Duane Starkenburg, 46, has been charged with two counts of indecent liberties and one count of attempted indecent liberties. He has adamantly denied wrongdoing, and is not being jailed.
His case setting hearing, where a trial date is expected to be set, is scheduled for July 5.
Starkenburg made headlines in January following his release from jail on $175,000 bond. Speaking to several reporters, he said he knew of two of the alleged victims, but not the third, and said there has been a serious misunderstanding.
Starkenburg complained about the women's identification of him, said he was celibate for seven years, maintained that had never touched his partner without her coming out of the shower, clarified details of a violent felony case in which he struck a woman during a road rage incident, and admitted to being at the West Seattle park.
"Yeah, I do watch women run," he told the reporters. "They're runnin' around half-naked."
Starkenburg questioned how he's a threat to the community. He also said he has chronic insomnia and played football half his life, saying he knows how to tackle people. Starkenburg said he hadn't been in Lincoln Park until he started trying to get into shape again last month.
Starkenburg said that he wouldn't be going into parks ever again, "so all you ladies are safe in Lincoln Park."
On Dec. 15, a woman was running with her Lhasa apso dog when she noticed a man who appeared out of nowhere, and with her permission patted her dog. She described him to police as "a nice guy but creepy," and he continued to be around her.
The woman runner, who had been resting when the man first talked to her, thought it was odd the man said he was injured after jogging. He said he was injured while walking up stairs.
When they reached a flat area, the man got behind her. He slid down the woman's legs to grab her ankles, then went face first onto the ground. The woman reasoned that if he'd fallen, the man would have put his hands out to catch himself, but that didn't happen, according to court documents. She told police she thought the man was trying to get on top of her.
"His nose went up in my butt," she told police. "I was very shocked."
That woman told police she saw him again in the park and froze. She didn't call police, but said he wore the same outfit: black pants and a blue hooded sweatshirt. In January, the woman identified the man as Starkenburg.
Court documents show police had the victim in the Dec. 15 case help with a sketch of the suspect. But that sketch was not released publicly.
In an Aug. 11 case, another woman said she was running with her whippet dog in Lincoln Park about 9 a.m. when a man stopped to let her pass. When they were near the bottom of a trail on a downgrade, the man fell and planted his face in her buttocks.
The man asked if she was OK, but the woman felt violated, and told detectives she thought it was deliberate and ran away, police said.
She also had no doubt the man was Starkenburg after viewing a police lineup, according to court documents.
On an afternoon in late January, a 27-year-old woman was running on the waterfront trail in Lincoln Park when police say she was grabbed from behind.
After the woman broke free, the suspect fled east through the park toward Fauntleroy Avenue Southwest. Starkenburg was arrested as he tried to cross that street, and police say the victim identified him as the man who attacked her.
Starkenburg said he fell in that case and pleaded not guilty in January when Seattle Municipal Court initially handled the case.
In a January interview with police, Starkenburg allegedly said "he goes to the park everyday to watch women run as he likes to watch them 'jiggle and bounce,'" Detective Leslie Smith wrote in a probable cause document.
"It's not like I drag the women into the bushes and rape them," Starkenburg allegedly told investigators.


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