Thursday, December 17, 2009

VIDEO: AMAZING LITTLE GIRL MUST SAY GOODBYE TO HER FISH

VIDEO: PRANK GONE WRONG

komix and other purported jocular bits of accumulated effluvia

Photobucket Photobucket stupid signs Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketdog bone blackboardtoddler potty headduck in sandals?duck in sandals?PhotobucketPhotobucketanal tvtwattfisning potholePhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketfat chik ksn skinny guyprayer..best wireless connectionhoney u can get out nowomg adult booksfeeding daddy headswapcargo pantscargo pants

VIDEO: SIMON'S CAT

VIDEO: The Polar Bear Song

this is one side of the story..there are many facets to this issue of "global warming" ..some say it is induced by man, others say it is a normal change in the Earth and such things have occured over millions of years..perhaps it is a combination of all these factors

JOKE: SIR NOTALOT OF THE ROUND TABLE

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In the days of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, a young, recently promoted Knight, Sir Notalot, joined that august body just as they were about to go out on yet another of their interminable forays after the Holy Grail. He ran, panting, into the court to find King Arthur alone and he said, "Sire, what must I do to join the other knights on their quest?"

King Arthur said "Well, first you must get yourself some armor - it is dangerous out there!"

So Sir Notalot went off to the chief armorer and said "I need armor to go in search of the Holy Grail - what can you offer me?"

The Armorer said "Well, I can do you the bespoke stainless steel all-over protect-all with expanding cod-piece for 100 livres, the same model in galvanized iron for 80 livres or the fully rusting chain mail for 60 livres".

Poor Sir Notalot could not afford any of these options, so he said "What can you do for 20 livres?"

The armorer said "If you care to go round the back of the Frog and Bucket ... " (at least that's what I think he said) "... you will find a large pile of discarded pewter ale tankards. Collect as many as you can and bring them back here and I shall fashion them into armor for you"

So, Sir Notalot went to the inn and collected all the pewter mugs he could carry and took them back to the armorer. This good man then proceeded to batter the tankards flat and hang them on strings around Sir Notalot's neck until his whole body was covered. The only problem was that Sir Notalot *clanked* at every step.

Sir Notalot walked back to the court - clankity, clankity all the way. He walked into King Arthur's presence to show off his new armor and the King said "This is all very well, but you need a fine charger to ride with the other knights when they leave tomorrow"

Sir Notalot then went to the farrier to see what he could offer. The farrier said "Well, I have this fine white charger at 100 livres or this slightly smaller dappled mare at 80 livres or...."

Sir Notalot said "OK, cut the crap, what have you got for 20 livres? That is all I have and I must leave with the other knights tomorrow"

The farrier thought for a moment and said "I do have this magnificent Saint Bernard dog which has recently been reprocessed since the owner couldn't keep up with the brandy consumption - will that do?"

Sir Notalot paid over the money, jumped onto the dog's back and galloped back to the King - dragging his feet in the dust as he went, with his armor clanking along - draggity, clank, draggity, clank.

He reached the King, who said "Just in time, the others have gone that way" (Pointing to the East)

So, Sir Notalot charged out on his St Bernard, clanking and dragging his feet (clankity drag, clankity drag). at that point it started to rain and the water ran inside the hammered pewter pots and down Sir Notalot's legs, soaking the St Bernard as well. And then the rain was so heavy that the road (Just a mud track, really) started to flood and the clankity-drag noise became more of a sort of a clankity-sploosh noise. And then the thunder and lighting started. Eventually, Sir Notalot reached the inn where the other knights had stopped for a rest. He rode up to the door and said to the inn-keeper "Hail, inn-keeper" (since it was hailing by now) "have you a room?"

And the inn-keeper said "No chance - I am full with these round-tablers"

In despair, Sir Notalot said "But surely you have somewhere I can shelter from the storm?" and pointing to his St Bernard he said....

"You wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this?"

JOKE: Jack's gone for cotton...

graves h&h stupid

In the country lived a family that made its living weaving cloth. One day, a debt collector knocked on the door.



"Is Jack home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.

"I'm sorry," the woman replied. "Jack's gone for cotton."

A few weeks later the collector tried again.

"Is Jack here today?"

Once again the answer was "No, sir, I'm afraid he has gone for cotton."

When he returned for the third time and Jack was still nowhere to be seen,
he complained, "I suppose Jack is gone for cotton again?"

"No," the woman answered solemnly, "Jack died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery. Sure enough, he found poor Jack's tombstone, with this inscription:"Gone, But Not for Cotton."

hahahaha

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