Saturday, June 11, 2011

JOKE: A Cop Stops Fred

A cop asked the speeder for his name. "Fred." "Fred what?" "Just Fred." The officer pressed him for his last name. "I used to have a last name but I lost it." Playing along, the cop asked, "So tell me, Fred, exactly how did you lose your last name?" Fred replied, "It's kind of a long story, but here goes: I was born Fred Dingaling. Kids teased me relentlessly. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, got good grades and became a doctor, making me Fred Dingaling, MD. But dentistry was my dream, so I stayed in school and got my dental degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. But I hired this knockout dental hygienist, one thing led to another, and damned if she didn't give me VD. That made me Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. When the ADA found out about the VD, they took away my DDS, making me Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as just Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling, so now I'm just Fred."

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GOT CAPTION? 6/12 v. 2.0

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GOT CAPTION? 6/12

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PRANK VIDEO: Jesus Turns Water Into Wine

VIDEO: Funny Parrot Marnie

Death by totem pole turns into murder case against husband

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KOOCHICHING COUNTY, Minnesota


Carl Muggli told police that his wife, Linda, was crushed to death in November when the totem pole they were carving accidentally fell on her.

But now police say it was murder.

Carl Muggli, 49, was arrested Tuesday in southern Texas and will be returned to International Falls, Minn., to face second-degree-murder charges in the death of his wife of 24 years.

The criminal complaint filed last week in Koochiching County tells a tale of infidelity and deceit.

On Nov. 26, a sheriff's deputy was called to the couple's garage and found Linda Muggli, 61, on the floor, bleeding from the mouth but still breathing. She was taken to a hospital, where she died.

Later that day, Carl Muggli told a deputy that a totem pole that the couple had been working on fell out of its cradle and onto his wife.

But about a week later, a tipster told the Sheriff's Office about Facebook entries between Muggli and a woman in Alabama that were "very intimate in nature," the complaint said.

A state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (BCA) agent reviewed Muggli's computer and uncovered Facebook messages between him and the woman that stretched from more than a month before Linda Muggli's death to a few days afterward.

"I love you with all my being. ... I want us together to live our lives as we seek. For I am with you. I am yours. We are one!" Muggli wrote Nov. 25 to the woman he called "Eveningstar."

On Nov. 28, his message said, "I love you Eveningstar, we'll get through this, I love you, house just got full again, will call soon."

He also began sending e-mails to real estate companies in Texas, looking for a "2+ bdrms, in country, a few acres." To another company, he wrote that he was "looking for a country home on 5 or more acres to rent or lease with option to buy. (my current situation -- divorce -- will not allow buying.)"

On Nov. 30, a few hours after his wife's memorial service, Muggli sent the woman an online link for property in Palestine, Texas.

She responded: "This is good and yes I'll look ... follow your heart as I have been doing. ... Hugs and Kisses, holding you tight, I will not let you go."

On Dec. 27, sheriff's deputies and a BCA agent went to the Muggli home in an effort to re-create the circumstances of the death as Carl Muggli had outlined, according to the complaint. Five times the officers tried and failed to make the completed 17-foot-tall totem pole come out of the cradle as Carl Muggli said had occurred.

The complaint added that on May 30, the woman in Alabama told the sheriff's chief deputy that she was on the phone with Muggli on the day of his wife's death and heard him arguing with her about getting a divorce.

The woman said he called back 30 minutes later, telling her there had been an accident and medical personnel were trying to save his wife.

Linda and Carl Muggli were married in 1986. They lived quietly in a log home about 20 miles south of International Falls in the town of Ray, Minn. Via the Internet, they made a name for themselves, carving and selling totem poles to Six Flags Theme Park, Warner Brothers Television and the Princess Diana Memorial Children's Park in London, according to their website.

Bob Neuenschwander, owner of Border Bob's in International Falls, hired Carl Muggli in the early 1980s to be "dock boy" at his father's lake resort and to help out at the store.

"I'm not going to get into details here, but something happened with Carl that estranged him from us and our business," Neuenschwander said Wednesday. "She stepped in, took control of both him and the situation. She was wonderful in how she helped him, and none of the wonderful things that happened in his life would have ever happened without her."

The Mugglis ran a game farm and petting zoo on their land before they became successful in the totem pole business, Neuenschwander said.

Neuenschwander said he stopped for breakfast Wednesday at Sandy's Place, a coffee shop in International Falls. There, on the front page of the newspaper, was a story about Carl Muggli's arrest. A woman next to him asked, "Can you believe that about Muggli?"

Carl Muggli moved to Stockdale, Texas, after his wife's death. The website for the totem pole business lists an address there. It notes Linda Muggli's death on Nov. 27, saying: "She passed while doing what she loved."

Nude woman lying next to vodka bottle was just trying to cool off

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A 44-year-old woman who told police she was sleeping naked in Mesa's Pioneer Park to "cool off" after she got drunk, was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure on Monday.
Susan Pollock was discovered sleeping naked on a park bench at 526 E. Main Street and initially was seen by a man and his three children about 5:30 p.m., according to Mesa police.
Pollock, who was lying beside an empty vodka bottle told police she took her clothes off after she got drunk because she wanted to cool off.
Pollock has previous convictions of assault, criminal damage, criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct, according to Maricopa Arizona County Superior Court records.

Meet the real-life Bambi and Thumper

Meet the real-life Bambi and Thumper - a cute baby deer and a fluffy rabbit who have become absolutely inseparable.The cute pair became best friends last June when Bambi was found cowering at the side of a busy major road aged just one day old.Just like in the 1942 Walt Disney classic, poor little Bambi had lost her mother and was left all alone.But motorist Svetlana Harper, 35, spotted her shivvering by the roadside, brought her home and nursed her back to full health.
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Fur-m friends: The real-life Bambi and Thumper are inseparable

Bambi soon started meeting the other animals at his new home, including Stasha the Alsation dog, but he quickly became best chums with rabbit Thumper. Now the adorable pair play together, take naps at the same time and follow each other round all day - just like in Disney's cartoon. More...The owl and the pussycat who really are the best of friendsSvetlana said: 'I was driving home at night and not far from my home I noticed something on the road - it was raining and visibility was low.'So I slowed down and as I went to drive round it I suddenly saw a small cub in the road.'I stopped and carefully got closer to the deer. It didn't move, and then I noticed the mum laying near the cub.
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Cute: Bambi the rescued baby deer snuggles up to her new best friend

'The mum was dead and so would the cub have been if I didn't rescue it. I covered it with my jacket and drove it home.'I warmed some milk and added an egg to try to feed Bambi but with no success. The rest of the night he slept with me on the sofa and I would try and feed him again.

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Adopted family: Bambi plays with two more of her new animal pals

'By the end of the day he finally started to suckle milk from the bottle and felt better. He was following me everywhere - I was like his mum.'Over the next few days the weather got better and a spring returned to the little cub who began bouncing around the house.Soon he was ready to venture outside and start meeting his new pals around Svetlana's home in Montana. She added: 'He met all my dogs and rabbits and a few were very interested in Bambi. My German-Shepherd Stasha likes all cubs and once even fed kittens who lost their mum.'She started to care about Bambi and kept licking him and always laying down near him.'But he was more interested in Ben, my rabbit who looks just like Thumper.'They quickly became inseparable - it was very cute and made everyone laugh. We fed Bambi with milk and tried to leave him with Stasha as long as possible.'All he wanted to do though was go and see Ben.'

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