Friday, December 31, 2010

JOKE: Bill Clinton Went Golfing

Photobucket

Bill Clinton got the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

Bill looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog
and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow!! That's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." They go to next hole. "What do you think frog?," Bill asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood." Bill takes out a 3 wood and,

Boom! Hole in one. Bill is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, he'd golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,"OK where to next?"

The frog replies,"Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and

Bill says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, Bill asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, Bill figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room, so help me God."

or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

VIDEO: 20 Car Pileup in Colorado Springs

Mark Zuckerberg - Gotta Hand It To The Little F*cker

Photobucket


No one made as large an impact on how we interact in 2010 as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, whom you've really gotta hand it to, as much as you'd like to punch the little shit right in his smug, 26-year-old- billionaire face. Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his Harvard dorm room in 2004 and has since seen the social network grow from a few thousand college students to more 500 million users worldwide.

Smart little f*cker, isn't he?

2010 was a landmark year for Zuckerberg: He watched his net worth surpass that of Steve Jobs and of Rupert Murdoch, while also expanding his online empire to include geo-location services, high-res photo-sharing, and enhanced personalization features, all of which just proved that the redheaded little dickface has really got our number and will always have us lining up and begging for more. Goddammit.

And recently joining the likes of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett in pledging to give most his income to charity is exactly the kind of maneuver a shitwad like this would pull to make you almost respect him.

The brilliant prick's meteoric ascent has so captured the nation's imagination that screenwriter Aaron Sorkin and acclaimed director David Fincher teamed up to immortalize the little wiener in the blockbuster film The Social Network, released in October.

Though his power and notoriety are sure to grow in coming years, you really can't begrudge Zuckerberg his fair-won success, even if he looks like a pimply-faced little f*ckhead you could easily kick in the balls without feeling any remorse

Doctor killed by neck massager

Photobucket


Her neck aching after a night of wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve, Dr. Michelle Ferrari-Gegerson used an electronic massager to relieve the pain. That night, her lifeless body was found by her husband on the bedroom floor of their Parkland home. The culprit: the massager, say Broward Sheriff's Office detectives and the Medical Examiner's Office.


They believe it got tangled in her necklace and strangled her. Ferrari-Gegerson, 37, worked as a radiologist in the emergency room of Jackson Memorial Hospital and was the mother of a 1-year-old, colleagues said. "Last week she was here and she brought baked goods for various employees,'' said Barbara Perez Deppman, director for radiology at the hospital. "That's what type of person she was. Out of the blue, she would just give people food vouchers and take them out to lunch.''

According to BSO, Ferrari-Gegerson was discovered unconscious about 9 p.m. Christmas Eve by her husband, Dr. Kenneth Gegerson, a dentist. Gegerson, 43, called 911. When deputies and paramedics arrived, they found the electronic massager on the floor near her, according to BSO.


BSO is withholding the brand and other details of the electronic massager while the investigation continues. Ferrari-Gegerson's apparent accident is not the first incident where an electronic massager has reportedly strangled someone. In December 2008, the Matoba Electric Manufacturing Company based in Saitama, Japan recalled an electronic foot massager after three reported cases in that country of women strangling themselves accidentally while using the machine as a neck massager.


VIDEO: A Match Made in Africa

digitalpoint

Geo Visitors Map

~WHIRLED GNUS~

Followers

Blog Archive