Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Things You See @Walmart v. 2.0

the Joke for Wednesday

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Jane was a first time contestant on the $65‚000 quiz show‚ where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize. Lady luck had smiled in her favor‚ as Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game‚ but unfortunately‚ time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question. Needless to say‚ Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous and fidgety as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are. You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow!" "Relax‚ honey‚" her husband‚ Roger‚ reassured her. "It will all be OK." Ten minutes after they arrived home‚ Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon" he replied. Jane waited impatiently for Roger's return. After an agonizing 3 hour absence‚ Roger returned‚ sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey‚ I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" "What is it?" she cried excitedly. "OK. The question is: 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head‚ the heart‚ and the penis.'" Shortly after that‚ the couple went to sleep‚ with Jane‚ now feeling confident and at ease‚ plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At 3:30 in the morning‚ however‚ Jane was shaken awake by Roger‚ who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head‚ the heart‚ and the penis‚" Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning‚ this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again‚ Jane replied correctly. So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer‚ she could feel the butterflies conquering her stomach and nervousness running through her veins. The cameras began running and the host‚ after reminding the audience of the previous days events‚ faced Jane and asked the big question. "Jane‚ for 65‚000‚ what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds." "Hmm‚ uhm‚ the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds." "Eh‚ uh‚ the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I‚ uhh‚ ooooooohh‚ darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..." "That's close enough‚" said the game show host‚ "CONGRATULATIONS!!"

the Word for Wednesday

SHENANIGAN






Trickery, underhand action, intrigue, skulduggery.



You’ll most commonly encounter this word in the plural. It seems to have originated in California at about the time of the Gold Rush, though it was first recorded in print only in 1855. In the years since, it has been spelt in about a dozen different ways, though recent dictionaries have settled on the version above. Where it comes from is still a matter of substantial dispute; the first five dictionaries I consulted gave four different origins (Oxford Dictionaries — as so often — opting for the ultra-cautious “origin unknown”). The word looks Irish, and there was no shortage of Irishmen in the California diggings, so it’s plausible to suggest the Irish word sionnachuighm as the source, meaning ‘I play tricks’, which is pronounced roughly as ‘shinnuckeem’. Others argue it comes from an East Anglian dialect word nannicking for playing the fool. Yet others guess at a link with the Spanish word chanada for a trick or deceit, which is another half-way plausible source, considering California’s history. Yet another theory was put forward in 1948 in American Speech for an origin in German schinnagel for a nail that holds the rim to the wheel, which produced the German slang terms schinageln, to work, and Schenigelei, a trick. As the man behind the market stall said, you pays your money and you takes your choice ...

Camera abandoned on mountain top is returned full of photos

A student left a camera on a picturesque mountaintop in Snowdonia, Wales in an experiment into human trust.
Paul Bellis Jones, 24, left a note with the camera near the summit of Mount Tryfan, instructing walkers to take a picture then leave it for the next person.
He was keen to know if the camera would be returned to his home in Glan Conwy, near Llandudno, as per his instructions, of if it would be stolen instead.
Snap happy: Paul Bellis Jones was left with over 30 pictures of fellow walkers when he abandoned a camera near the summit of Mount Tryfan

Thankfully for Mr Jones, over 30 ramblers took photographs of themselves at the beauty spot, which overlooks two large rocks near the summit.
When the film ran out four days later, the camera was personally returned to his house by a National Park warden.
The student, who left the camera and accompanying note in a sealed bag, launched the experiment in mid-May.
He said: 'I was speaking to a friend who said you can't trust anyone, anywhere these days.
'I didn't want to believe that so I set up this experiment to found out what might happen and proved you can trust people.'
High hopes: The camera was left on the Snowdonia peak as an experiment
Strike a pose: The camera was left with a note instructing walkers to take a picture then leave it for the next person
'I planned it that way. Tryfan is very popular and gets a lot of visitors, but not as many as Snowdon.
'The camera was one of the use-once type and was left in clear view near Adam and Eve, the two large rocks, right at the summit.
'I took the first photo of my friends and then left it. There was another group just behind us coming up to the summit and I saw they had found the camera and knew it was being used. But I didn't know then if I would see it again.'
In the frame: The camera was returned to Mr Jones personally by a National Park warden when the film ran out
Rock on: The camera was left in clear view near two large rocks near the summit

The camera was returned to Mr Jones by Ogwen Valley warden Brian Jones.
He said: 'We find a lot of equipment on the hills during the year and we do our best to reunite it with their owners.
'I found the camera and thought it had been lost until I saw the note.
'I was passing his home and just dropped it off. I'm glad the photos came out fine.'
Say cheese: Mr Jones set up the experiment to prove people could be trusted
National trust: Over 30 ramblers took photographs at the beauty spot


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