Monday, May 2, 2011

JOKE: Where'd you get that awful haircut?







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A man walked in to Joe's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks "What's up?"


The man proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome.


"ROME?!" Joe says, "Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?"


"We're taking TWA," the man replies.


"TWA?!" yells Joe. "They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?"


The man says "We'll be at the downtown International Marriot."


"That DUMP?!" says Joe. "That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?"


The man says "We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope." "HA! That's rich!" laughs Joe. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!"


A month later, the man comes in for his regular haircut. Joe says, "Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!"


"No, quite the opposite" explained the man. "Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!"


"Hmmm," Joe says, "Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described."


"No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!"


"Well," Joe mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!"


"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."


Impressed, Joe asks, "Tell me, please! What'd he say?"


"Oh, not much really. Just "Where'd you get that awful haircut?"

Man in women's underwear, high on bath salts, killed neighbor's goat


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CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Police say a South Charleston man high on bath salts killed his neighbor's pygmy goat and that neighbors found him in his bedroom, dressed in women's underwear, next to the dead animal, said Lt. Bryan Stover of the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department.

Mark Thompson, 19, of Greenview Road is charged with animal cruelty after police got a call from a woman who said he stole her goat at about 3:15 a.m. Monday, Stover said.

Police took the dead animal to a local veterinarian to perform a necropsy, said Cpl. Sean Snuffer, a detective with the sheriff's department.

"We know the animal had at least one stab wound," Snuffer said. "They are also searching for signs of sexual trauma. From what I understand when the individuals found him his pants were down."

According to witnesses, they entered Thompson's house while searching for the animal and found Thompson standing by the goat, half naked and wearing a bra and panties. The goat was lying on the floor with blood coming from its neck, neighbors told police.

Thompson ran from the house and into the woods before police arrived, Stover said. Police got a search warrant, and searched the woods for Thompson, who was found and taken into custody several hours later.

Thompson allegedly told police he was on bath salts for about three days.

Snuffer said the people in the community where Thompson lives told police they have been concerned about his mental health.

"I don't think they are very happy, the community over there," he said. "From what I understand they have been fearful of him before."

Thompson had lived in the house with his parents, but Snuffer said its believed that they didn't live there any longer.

Snuffer said there was no immediate signs that he had harmed other animals.

"There were other animals in the house, but as far as signs of other being harmed, I don't think there was. I think they found some chicken feathers in the house," he said.

Police are continuing their investigation. Thompson was arraigned Monday afternoon and taken into custody by Adult Protective Services.

Hitler's Reaction to Osama Bin Laden's Death (OFFICIAL VIDEO)!


DISCOVER: the Fabulous Jackie DeShannon



http://www.youtube.com/artist?a=GxdCwVVULXeGx2NAXKH_uFB9tFqgHMNz&feature=watch_video_title

VIDEO: Spider Attacks an Ant

Sex Game for Kids Launched



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An online game in which two characters get it on in an alleyway and at a bus stop has been launched by The National Health Service in United Kingdom to teach children about safe sex.

The game, called Fanny and Jonny's Big Night Out, sees players compete to win condoms which allow the characters to have sex in a variety of locations.

Players who fail to win the virtual condoms are told: Get yourself off to the sexual health clinic.

It has been promoted to school-children in North Yorkshire via nurses, Facebook and sexual health clinics.


VIDEO: Up Your's


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