Sunday, November 8, 2009

BROHEMIAN RHAPSODY performed by COLLEGE HUMOR

VIDEO: RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT RECORD..LARGEST RUBBER BAND BALL

this is NUTS*

STUCK!

They say curiosity killed the cat. It didn't do this poor filly any favors either.

When she managed to squeeze her head into a hole in a tree she had been keen for a good nose around.

Horsing Around: The curious filly, called Gracie, caught in the tree

She suffered only minor injuries after being cut free with a chainsaw

The only problem was she couldn't get it out again. Tired of trying, and stuck fast, she looked as silly as Winnie the Pooh with his head in the honey pot.

Finally, neighbour Jason Harschbarger heard her dismayed whinnying across the fields in Pullman, West Virginia, and came to her rescue.

Gracie, as the horse is called, was left with a dislocated jaw and a few cuts and scrapes from her ordeal.

The tree, however, was considerably worse for wear.

Mr Harschbarger had to resort to a chainsaw to cut Gracie free.

He said: 'She has a few cuts on her face and ear.

'Last I heard her jaw was a little dislocated but I think it is healing up and she can eat on her own again.'

Lonesome Pingu the penguin cheered up by his new friend... a stuffed toy

UK

A baby penguin which had to be separated from its family after a greedy sibling continually ate all its food has found companionship - with this stuffed toy.

The penguin - called Pingu - began to lose weight and appeared weak after its bigger relative regularly helped himself to all the fish on offer.

Concerned keepers were forced to remove Pingu from the enclosure, but at just three-weeks-old the penguin was in desperate need of company.

Staff bought a �3.99 toy penguin from the zoo shop which acts as a surrogate sibling to the penguin chick - who cuddles up to its new friend all day.

Mates: Pingu the penguin chick at the Living Coasts zoo in Torquay who has found solace with a stuffed toy

Pingu - an African penguin whose sex has yet to be determined - was born with its sibling at the Living Coasts attraction in Torquay, Devon.

Senior head keeper Tony Durkin said: 'At first it seemed everything was going well but then we noticed one sibling was growing more quickly than the other.

'You do get size differences in the wild but it only becomes a problem if the difference gets too great.

'We prefer not to interfere, as it's better for parent birds to rear their young naturally. But as the size difference increased, so did the problem.

'The smaller chick was getting some food, just not enough. When it fell in the pool we decided to give it a helping hand.

'The cuddly penguin toy is something for the chick to cosy up to and be comforted by - a surrogate family for the time being.' Pingu is living in a snug den made out of foam matting and towels with a shelter to imitate a normal burrow.

Comforting: Staff at the zoo decided to hand rear the baby African penguin after noticing it's older sibling kept eating all it's food

Feeding time: The penguin - called Pingu - began to lose weight and appeared weak after its bigger relative regularly helped himself to all the fish on offer

For the first two or three days the chick was fed warm, liquidised fish from a syringe before being gradually weaned onto chunks of sprat.

Pingu now takes small whole sprats and is being fed six times a day by a team of five foster mothers.

African penguins chicks are about the same size as those of a domestic chicken . They grow quickly and at eight weeks are close to full size.

Soon after they lose their downy feathers and grow their juvenile plumage, which they keep until they are about one-and-a-half years old.

Keeper Lois Rowell added: 'The chick is quiet but quite inquisitive. It enjoys a shallow warm bath and being preened by us when its feathers need a clean up.' The youngster will return to the colony when it is strong enough to compete with the others for food.

As well as a stuffed penguin Pingu also cuddles up to a toy puffin.

Staff bought a �3.99 toy penguin from the zoo shop which acts as a surrogate sibling to the chick - who cuddles up to its new friend all day. He also has a stuffed puffin.

JOKE: Tillie and Chester

old couple in bed

Tillie and Chester knew each other from childhood but were in their seventies when they got married. They had to wait for Tillie's mother to pass away first, because she didn't approve of Chester. Back in those days there was no hanky panky before marriage so Chester and Tillie were both still virgins.

Needless to say Chester was pretty excited on their wedding night, having waited so patiently all these years. However, Tillie was very apprehensive as she had developed a heart condition and would have to tell Chester that they could not do it.

Chester is now sitting on the bed wanting Tillie to hurry up. He detects a little reluctance on her part. Thinking that she is just shy, he sends her off to the bathroom to get undressed.

When she reappears in her satin nightie, he gets her to sit next to him on the bed. Not knowing how to get things started, he pulls the first strap on her nightie. She blushes just as red as her satin nightie. She is really concerned about telling Chester about her heart condition.

In the meantime Chester is looking at the first breast he has seen since his own mother's. It is hanging there down to her belly button; gravity having taken its course over some sixty years.

He notices her anxiety but figures she is going have to be helped a little more.

Now he pulls the second strap and sees the second breast unroll downward before him. Poor Tillie is now beside herself. She is going to have to tell Chester about her heart.

With a quivering voice and mustering up all her courage, she says, Chester, I have acute angina."

Chester says, "I hope so, 'cuz your boobs sure aren't."

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