I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Friday, July 22, 2011
JOKE: A Male Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, Will you marry me?
The Princess said, No!!! And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his
house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The end.
"Lemon" owner returns to car dealership, crashes into six vehicles
Unhappy that a Lafayette Road car dealer wouldn't take back the van he bought on Monday, David Cross drove "the lemon" back after the dealer closed on Tuesday and crashed it into six cars parked on the lot for sale.
"I hit the first $25,000 car I could see," Cross told the Herald. "I didn't hit a car under $20,000. Then I moved a van that they wouldn't come down on the price for. I moved it with the lemon they sold me. I just held it to the floor until I couldn't move it anymore. I took out seven vehicles, including my own."
Cross, a Salisbury, Mass., resident who turns 42 today, is charged with six felony counts of criminal mischief, one for each of the cars he damaged, excluding his own.
He said his story began on Monday, when his wife bought a van at the Portsmouth Used Car Superstore.
"It was a piece of crap," Cross said, elaborating that his mechanic looked at the van after it was purchased and found a host of problems, including an odometer that didn't work. He said an Internet search showed it had been in a wreck and his insurance agent told him he couldn't insure it with a broken odometer, so he followed his mechanic's advice to "take it back."
Cross said he went back to the car dealer, asked for a refund and was told "you're stuck with it." So he began negotiating the price for another van, but a salesman wouldn't budge, he said.
He said he and his wife returned home in the van they bought Monday, and he waited for her to fall asleep. He then drove back to the car dealership just before midnight and started driving into cars.
He said he was about to call the police and turn himself in when he saw a cruiser, flagged it down and told the officer "the deal." After his arrest, he was released on personal recognizance bail and he's scheduled to be arraigned Sept. 19 in Portsmouth District Court.
"I was pretty crazy last night," he said. "I woke up this morning and wondered if it was a dream, but then I looked over and there's my bail papers."
Cross said he was not under the influence of any substance, just driven by anger.
A Portsmouth Used Car Superstore manager, who asked not to be named, declined to comment, but when pressed, estimated the damage caused by Cross to be about $20,000.
"That sounds about right," Cross said when the Herald relayed the estimate.
The manager said the cars Cross crashed into included a Mercedes and a special edition Mustang. He said the cars have been towed from the lot and the business is insured for the loss.
Cross is also charged with driving after suspension because, he said, his license was suspended for falling behind on child support.
He said he's prepared to face whatever penalty comes his way.
"I'm stuck with it now," he said. "But I got my point across."
McDonald's manager punched customer who had service dog
A Marietta, Georgia McDonald's manager is accused of punching a mother who brought a service dog and her autistic children into the restaurant.
A Cobb County warrant charges Tiffany Denise Allen with simple battery, simple assault fear and disorderly conduct.
According to the warrant, Jennifer Schwenker entered the Marietta McDonald's located at 1291 Bells Ferry Road with her children and service dog on July 12.
Allen, off-duty at the time, became irate that the dog was in the restaurant, the warrant says.
Schwenker explained to Allen the dog's purpose and told the manager the dog was legally allowed to be inside the establishment.
Allen continued to berate Schwenker, following her around the restaurant and even into a bathroom. During the incident, one of Schwenker's twins disappeared. The mother threw her cup to the ground and ran outside to look for her child, the warrant says.
Allen believed the cup was thrown at her and followed the mother into the parking lot, where she is accused of hitting her in the face.
Surveillance video shows several McDonald's employees holding Allen back, according to the warrant.
The warrant for Allen's arrest was signed July 15. She is not listed as having been in custody at the Cobb County jail.
An owner of the McDonald's, who did not want to be named, declined an interview but did say Allen no longer works at the restaurant.
Woman, 22, grows full-sized nipple on the sole of her FOOT
Lily Allen proudly showed hers off on television, Mark Wahlberg's famous for his and just last week, Zac Efron was forced to deny he has two.
But a 22-year-old woman has trumped them all - by growing a full-sized extra nipple on the sole of her foot.
Although one in 50 women and one in 100 men have extra nipples, according to the California-based Dermatology Journal it's the first time one has ever been discovered so far down somebody's body.
Unique: Extra nipples are usually found above the bellybutton, and doctors say it's the first time they have ever seen one on somebody's foot
The woman told doctors she had had the unusual growth - which is almost two inches wide - all her life, and it had never caused her any pain.
Between one and five per cent of the population have the condition, known as supernumerary breast tissue.
Although most of the time extra nipples are found along the milk lines, which run from the genitals to the armpits, they have been discovered on the back, thigh or even the face - but never the feet.
Mark Wahlberg has a third nipple just below his left one. The former Calvin Klein model considered having it removed but then changed his mind, calling it his most 'prized possession'.
Last week dermatologist Dr Katherine Rothman said she believed Zac Efron had not one but two extra nipples, below his normal ones on his chest.
His spokesman denied the claims, but it prompted new interest in the topic - and the rediscovery of the 22-year-old woman's case, which was first published in Dermatology Journal in 2006.
According to researchers in Brazil: 'A 22-year-old woman sought medical care for a lesion in the plantar region of her left foot, a well-formed nipple surrounded by areola and hair.
'Microscopic examination of the dermis showed hair follicles, eccrine glands, and sebaceous glands.'
There are eight categories of supernumerary nipple. They range from polythelia pilosa, which is just a patch of hair, and develop up to a complete nipple with glandular tissue and areola.
Researchers classified this case as stage five, which means it has a nipple and areola but no fat tissue.
Third nipples have been mentioned throughout history and folklore, and were once known as 'witch's nipples'.
Anne Boleyn, one of Henry VIII's wives, was rumored to have not only a third nipple but also a third breast - causing some to brand her a witch.
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