Friday, February 17, 2012

VIDEO: Louisiana Congressman/Medical Doctor Fooled by "the Onion" Satire Bit on Abortion


It's the first rule of politics: make sure you've got your facts right before you start broadcasting your strident views.
But one Louisiana Congressman was left rather embarrassed after he took to Facebook to express outrage over plans for an $8billion 'Abortionplex' to be built by Planned Parenthood -- only to discover it was based on a satirical article written by The Onion.
To make matters worse, the spoof news report had been written a year earlier.
John Fleming -- or someone on his staff -- added a link to The Onion story 'Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex' on his official Facebook page with the comment 'More on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale.'
The link was quickly removed from his page, but not before it was captured by the blog Literally Unbelievable, which specializes in embarrassing people who repeat stories from the Onion without realizing it is a fake news outlet. 
The Onion story, which was published in May, says the building is a '900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure.'
'The Abortionplex's high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds. That's almost a million abortions every month. We're so thrilled!' Planned Parenthood's president is 'quoted' as saying.

The Onion, which wrote the story in light of last year's fight in Congress over federal funding for the group, republished the story in light of Susan G. Komen Foundation controversy, which saw the charity pull its support for Planned Parenthood only to reverse its decision.
A spokesman for Fleming, a second-term Republican and family practice doctor, confirmed that the link was posted but said it was taken down. He would not comment further. 
Eight constituents had commented by the time Literally Unbelievable caught the post. One of them pointed out: 'The Onion is satire. How exactly did you get elected?'

Joe Randazzo, the editor of the Onion, played his response to the row as tongue-in-cheek as his newspaper's stories.
'We’re delighted to hear that Rep. Fleming is a regular reader of America’s Finest News Source and doesn’t bother himself with The New York Times, Washington Post, the mediums of television and radio, or any other lesser journalism outlets,' he said in a statement to Politico.
Hudson Hongo, who runs the Literally Unbelievable blog, told Politico he finds it 'extremely satisfying to see a politician being made the rube by just the kind of sensationalism (in this case satiric) that they seem so adept at manufacturing these days.'
Fleming represents Louisiana's Fourth District, which includes Shreveport. 

JOKE: Jane was ugly

Jane was ugly -- so ugly, it hurt. Having never had a boyfriend, she asked a psychic for help. The psychic said, "Jane, you will not be lucky in love in this lifetime, but, you will be reincarnated and then you will be Earth's most desirable woman. Men will fall at your feet. And you will find great joy." Jane left happy and excited. On her way home, going over a bridge, she thought, "The sooner I die, the sooner my great new life will begin." So she stopped her car right there and jumped off the bridge. Incredibly, she didn't die! She landed in the back of an open truck loaded with bananas, but she did faint. After riding a few miles, she came to, drowsy, unable to see well, not knowing where she was, and started feeling her surroundings. Feeling all those bananas, she laughed and said, "Gentlemen, please. One at a time!"

Briton bitten 'down under' by deadly Australian snake while answering call of nature


A British man was bitten "down under" by a killer snake while answering a call of nature in the Australian bush. The reptile sunk its fangs into Jackson Scott's testicle as he squatted in the dark.

But when he begged best mate Roddy Andrews to suck the venom out, his friend refused. Instead he drove Jackson on a 40-minute life-or-death dash to Hobart, Tasmania, where doctors gave him an antidote to the deadly tiger snake poison.

Jackson, 29, of Glasgow, said: "I went into the garden at four in the morning after a night in the pub to save flushing the toilet because water is precious in the outback. Just as I finished and was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me. I had my pants around my knees when I hobbled into Roddy's bedroom. My heart was racing and I was hallucinating.

"Needless to say, Rod was not of a mind to suck out the poison." Jackson, starting a year's working holiday at the remote farm, added: "The doctors and nurses were very professional. They didn't take the mickey out of me being bitten on my wedding tackle."

VIDEO: Man jailed for cooking and eating neighborhood cats

An Oildale, California man is behind bars, accused of killing cats and eating them.

A case of alleged animal abuse led investigators to a home on Wilson Avenue in Oildale.

"It was shocking. I was just blown away. I mean how often do you hear that," said neighbor Steve Poe.

Poe lives next door Jason Wilmert, 36, who is accused of killing cats and eating them.

"I heard he was using his house pets as snacks which is kind of disturbing. You would have never guessed anything like that. I saw him buy a case of beer. So if he can afford a case of Natural Ice, you can get some Top Ramen," continued Poe.

Neighbors say Wilmert kept to himself and acted strangely.

"He would just stare at my dog, like just stare at it, and he makes me nervous, you know what I mean? I told him to stop and he said I'm not doing nothing. I'm just looking," said Steven Smith.

One neighbor said she saw him in action.

"My roommate recently told me about two days ago that our neighbor was crazy and she caught him cutting up a dead cat in his backyard," said Crystal Gates.

Neighbors had their suspicions about how Wilmert may have prepared the cats.

"He spent, I want to say, three straight days burning stuff in his backyard. It smelled like leaves and everything like that. I don't know if the guy was having a BBQ or what not, but it was three to four days solid burning stuff in his yard," said Poe.

Wilmert faces two misdemeanor charges, one count of cruelty to animals and one count of using a pet as food.

"I've been involved in these types of cases for well over almost 20 years now. I've never seen this charge before," explained Michael Yraceburn, Supervising Deputy District Attorney.

If convicted, Wilmert faces up to six months in jail.

Investigators say they don't know where the cats came from, but they believe the killings happened on more than one occasion.

Wilmert denied our request for a jailhouse interview.

He is expected to be in court Friday.

VIDEO: Kung Fu Rooster vs. Cat

VIDEO: Tense 2 Hr. Standoff Over in San Diego..No One In Empty Car

A 2-hour standoff between armed San Diego Police and an empty car on the freeway ended with no injuries. Several freeway lanes were closed, backing up rush-hour traffic along Interstate 8 for several miles.
Cops surrounded the 2001 Pontiac Grand Prix, but could not see if anyone was inside because the car had heavily tinted windows.
For more than two hours, officers stood pointing guns at the car and trying different ways to check the car for anyone inside. They used a trained police dog, a helicopter with heat-sensing technology and, at one point, an officer even threw a tree branch to break the back window.


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