VIDEO: CLASSIC DUMB BLOND

there are dumb blonds and then there are even dumber ones but there is only one Miss Teen USA 2007 from South Carolina

the Motherly Hen~

A hen in China has reportedly adopted two orphaned puppy dogs after their mother died.

Owner Cao Fengying, of Majiaqiao village, Jiashan town, says the hen was best friends with the puppy's mother.

But the dog was poisoned just ten days after giving birth to puppies, reports Today Morning.

Cao said: "The hen and the dog had been friends for two years. They would never fight but just play together.

"I thought the puppies would die after their mother went but the next morning I discovered that the puppies had gone missing.

"Then I heard the hen clucking in her coop. I looked over and saw that the little puppies were underneath the hen."

The hen now looks after her adopted children, defending them if anyone approaches and letting them eat first at meal times.

"Once I even saw the hen fight off several other chickens which were trying to steal the puppies' food," added Cao.

Villagers say they can't understand why a hen would be so protective of two puppies - but Cao believes she is simply doing right by her late friend.

JOKE: the New Hooker

The new hooker just finished her first trick, when she came down the street,the seasoned veterans gathered around to hear the details.

She said "Well, he was a big muscular handsome sailor."

"Well, what did he want you to do?", They all asked.

She said, "I told him a straight lay would be $100, but he didn't have that much."

Then she told him, "Oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much
either."

"Finally I asked him, well how much money do you have?"

The sailor said, "He only had $25."

The new hooker said, "Well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand."

He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said "He pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand."

"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge, then what did you do?"

"I loaned him $75!" she exclaimed.

JOKE: Perfectly Frank

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman.. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.

Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never
made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his f**kin widow.

ty Sasha

JOKE:

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian

 woman for several years. One night, during one of 

their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was 

pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his

 marriage, he paid her a large sum of money, if she

 would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If 

she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would 

also provide child support until the child turned 18. 

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby

was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply 

mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. 

He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. 

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused

 wife. 

"Honey," she said. "You received a very strange post card today." 

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. 

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned 

white and fainted. 

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. 

Two with meatballs, one without." 

JOKE: they're choking my ducks

A newlywed couple was spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.

The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".

The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!"

Clerk Busted at Christian Bookstore After Peep Cam Found in Bathroom

Joseph David Ramon Moreaux

SIMI VALLEY CA.

A 28-year-old clerk at the "Family Christian Book Store" was arrested Sunday after authorities found a hidden camera in the store's restroom.

Joseph David Ramon Moreaux of Lancaster was arrested on charges of peeping with a recording device and issued a citation. He was later released.

Investigators say a female patron of the bookstore contacted the Simi Valley Police Department after she noticed what appeared to be a camera in the woman's bathroom.

Officers found a camera hidden in between boxes in the corner of the restroom, which was used by both men and women, police said.

They also found video on the recorder that showed Moreaux hiding the device.

He inadvertently recorded himself positioning the device, police said.

Police are now getting a search warrant for the bookstore.

They are trying to determine how long the camera had been placed in the restroom and how many victims there might be.

Priest accidentally shows racy photos while giving fundraising pitch

Rev. Edward Lyman

SCRANTON, Pa. - A northeastern Pennsylvania priest has been removed from his duties after church officials say he accidentally displayed inappropriate pictures from his computer before Sunday Mass.

The Diocese of Scranton said the Rev. Edward Lyman was using his computer on Oct. 25 to project an informational DVD about the annual diocesan fundraiser when four photos were displayed. They featured what church officials describe as "minimally attired adult males."

Diocese spokesman William Genello said the photos were not pornographic, did not include minors and were not taken by the priest.

Lyman has been removed as administrator of St. Anthony, St. Bridget and St. John the Baptist parishes in Throop. The diocese would not say where he is.

HEY..LET'S GO FOR A RIDE

JOKE: A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started wailing away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Dizzy Gillespie. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.

"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man.

"Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."