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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

VIDEO: Cute Yorkie Puppy Eating While Doing Handstand

JOKE: Bubba was bragging to his boss one day

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubb on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

Monday, April 5, 2010

VIDEO: Cool Musical Staircase...It's a Piano Keyboard..People Choose Stairs

Woman's boyfriend nearly died when she suffocated him with her enormous breasts

Claire Smedley's boyfriend nearly died when she suffocated him with her enormous breasts during sex. The mother-of-three, who has 40LL breasts, panicked when she lifted them up to find her lover Steven had stopped breathing.

Claire, 27, boasts the second biggest bust in Britain with each breast weighing over a stone(14 lbs.). In a video she tells how Steven usually loved being smothered by them.

"This time, he started flailing around a bit, but I assumed it was because he was so excited, so I kept going," she said. "A few minutes later I noticed he'd stopped moving." By then, sales assistant Steven, also 27, was still and appeared to not be breathing.

Claire said: "I was panicking and just about to call 999 when thankfully he started to come round. He was really woozy, like he was in a trance. Then he sort of coughed and sat up. I was so relieved."

Startled Steven added: "I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me but I think she misread the signals."

UPDATE: girl sues for $1m over arrest for desk scribbling

A 12-year-old schoolgirl is suing the New York City authorities for $1m in damages after she was arrested for writing on her desk.

Alexa Gonzalez was led out of her school in handcuffs by police after she was caught scribbling a message to her friends with an erasable, green marker.

Miss Gonzalez and her mother are suing the police and education departments in New York City.

They are claiming excessive use of force and violation of her rights.

JOKE: President Bush calls in the Head of the CIA

President Bush calls in the Head of the CIA and asks, How come the Jews know everything before we do?"

The CIA chief says, "The Jews have this expression: 'Vus titzuch?'

The President says, "Hell, what's that mean?" Well, Mr. President", replies the CIA chief, "It's a Yiddish expression which roughly translates to "what's happening". They just ask each other and they know everything." The President decides to personally go undercover to determine if this is true. He gets dressed up as an Orthodox Jew (black hat, beard, long black coat) and is secretly flown in an unmarked plane to New York, picked up in an unmarked car, and dropped off in Brooklyn's most Jewish neighborhood.

Soon a little old man comes shuffling along. The President stops him and whispers, "Vus titzuch?"

The old guy whispers back: "Bush is in Brooklyn."