VIDEO: AND YOU THOUGHT THAT UNDERWEAR YOU JUST BOUGHT WAS NEW

Last month, a Today Show investigation revealed a shocking fact: Major retailers like Victoria's Secret and Macy's were re-selling underwear that customers -- or rather, Today show operatives wearing hidden cameras -- had returned. Even after the Today folks stained said panties with baby oil, they ended up back on the shelves.
The investigation disgusted Alicia Vargo, the owner of Pampered Passions Fine Lingerie, an upscale online bra-and-panty retailer based in Englewood. In fact, she was so disgusted, she started an online petition to encourage lawmakers to outlaw the icky practice.

"This poses serious health threats to women," the petition says, noting that worn underwear can harbor "dangerous germs and diseases" for weeks. "The act should be punishable by law." That's right; it's time to bring in The Panty Police.

In an e-mail, Vargo explained her motivation:

The petition was truly put into action because of the terrible press the Today show created when they did their feature on retailers selling used lingerie. Pampered Passions has always had a very strict [return] policy, and our customers have been frustrated with it at times. Our customers do know, however, that we will never sell them anything "recycled," and even the frustrated customers come back as they trust our policies and procedures.
Once we collect our 1,000 signatures, we are going to write a letter to Colorado congresspeople to ask them to consider helping us start a bill. We are also trying to gauge if there is enough passion behind this before we do a formal signature collection process. To get a bill on the ballot, you need to hand-collect written signatures (not online signatures), which is a sizable undertaking. This petition, simply put, was designed to bring attention to this practice, show our support of current bills being considered in various states [such as Maryland, Vargo says], and use the signatures as fodder for writing letters to our local congresspeople.

As of noon today, the petition had 157 signatures. So until the day when Coloradans head to the ballot box to say no to dirty panties, Vargo has some tips for avoiding catching diseases in your nether regions:

Make certain you only shop at retail stores that carry disposable panties or thong guards in the dressing rooms -- the equivalent of disposable toilet seat covers.
Review stores' return policies.The more flexible the policies are, the more likely they will be to ship out used lingerie.
Always wash your lingerie -- or any clothing for that matter -- before wearing it. You don't know who has tried on even a shirt or pair of pants before you.
Maybe it was Crabby McCrabberson. Yuck.

following earthquake,too many bodies pile up for the vultures to eat

Tibetan monks are forced to cremate bodies as the death toll from Wednesday's earthquake continues to climb. The corpses are piled three-deep at Jiegu's Tibetan Buddhist monastery, perched on the mountain above the earthquake-ravaged town. "More than a thousand bodies were brought here," said Ge Laidanzeng, a 20-year-old Tibetan lama at the monastery.

Traditionally, the dead would be given sky burials, their bodies dismembered and then scattered on the top of the mountain for vultures to eat. "We cannot do this for them," said Ge. "There are too many for the vultures to eat."

Instead, the dead will be cremated on Saturday after a prayer service by the head of the Aka monastery, a Living Buddha. The number of bodies at the Jiegu monastery contradicts the official death toll from Wednesday's quakes, the largest of which measured 7.1 magnitude, according to the China Earthquake bureau.

On Friday, the official death toll climbed to 760, with a further 243 people missing and 1,174 severely injured. "I believe at least 10,000 were killed," said Ge. "There are four other monasteries collecting the dead and they are the same as us," he said. "Then there are all the people still buried. The government is playing down the figures."

VIDEO: 194 MPH AND THEN THE WHEELS CAME OFF

Sebastien Buemi escaped unhurt after the front wheels flew off his Toro Rosso car in a dramatic crash during Chinese Grand Prix practice.

The Swiss, 21, careered off the track at the end of the long back straight, where cars are doing about 194mph.

Buemi said: "From in the car it was not a problem. I just lost both wheels."

Toro Rosso said the crash had been caused by a failure of the front-right upright, which caused an immediate failure of the same part on the left.

JOKE: OBAMA WAS TURNING WHITE AND CALLED A DOCTOR

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.

In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over,

he called his doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,
gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and said,

"That tasted like bullshit"!

"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."

10q JJ

VIDEO: Drunkest Woman Ever?

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Dead man wins mayoral election in Tennessee

Dead men tell no tales, but apparently they can still get votes. Carl Robin Geary Sr. died of a heart attack on March 10 but that didn't stop voters from electing him mayor of Tracy City.

On Tuesday, the late Mr. Geary defeated incumbent Barbara Brock by 268 votes to 85, according to Grundy County Administrator of Elections Donna Basham. "I knew he was deceased. I know that sounds stupid, but we wanted someone other than her," said Chris Rogers, owner of the town's Lunch Box restaurant. "If he were to run again next week I'd vote for him again."

His widow, Susan Geary, said his election "was not a surprise at all to me. The day he passed away, people were calling with condolences and saying, 'We're still voting for him,'" she said.

Ms. Basham said the seat would be declared vacant and the city's four aldermen would select a new mayor. Staff members at the Tennessee Secretary of State's Office said they've never heard of a dead person winning an election.

Oh 'Grate'! Now's There's a Cat Stuck

Cat who got head stuck in storm drain reunited with owner

The cat who got her head stuck in a storm drain in Norfolk, Virginia on Wednesday has been reunited with her owner. Animal control reported yesterday that they found a cat hanging from a grate on Strawberry Lane by her head.

Not knowing who the cat's owner was, they called the cat "Rubick" and brought it to an area hospital, where she was freed from the storm drain.

Her owner, LeeAnn Spiess, found out about her cat, whose real name is "Emme," and went to go see her at the hospital. Speiss said that Emme is going to be fine and is on medication and resting. She will be picked up from the hospital on Friday.

It is not known how the cat got stuck, but Norfolk police are guessing that the Emme was chased by something, ended up in an open culvert pipe nearby and then tried to squeeze through the grate.

VIDEO: Baby Kangaroos as the Beach

JOKE: An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up

An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?" Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty." The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?" And Allah replied, "Who said they were women ?"