GOTHAM CITY
Over 50 years after psychologist Fredric Wertham first proposed the idea that masked superheroes Batman and Robin may actually be homosexual, questions still swirl around the sexual preference of the caped crusaders. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder continue to claim they're "just friends."
"Why people would think Robin and I are gay has always been beyond me," said Batman, polishing his hard rubber codpiece.
Robin, reached in the Bat Sauna, concurred. "Batman and I have a long history of fighting crime together, but in a very rugged, manly way," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to slip into my lo-rise kelly green briefs and torso-hugging yellow-laced bodice."
In addition to being linked to each other, Batman and Robin have been separately linked to several others among the Gotham City glitterati, including the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Egghead and Alfred the butler.
"Really, is there anyone in that city who's not gay?" questioned a mild-mannered reporter for the Metropolis Daily Planet who asked not to be identified.
A spokesman for the Joker disagreed, noting that "just because someone dresses head to toe in purple does not make him a homosexual," adding however that his client will admit to being "fabulous."
Four years ago Batwoman came out of the closet, and masked superhero insiders predicted that the announcement would lead to a similar disclosure from her fellow crime fighters - but that declaration never came.
The revelation about Batwoman, meanwhile, sent shock waves throughout the superhero community back in 2006, where it was widely believed that the only gay super heroines were Catwoman, Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Black Widow, Supergirl, the Scarlet Witch and Chastity Bono.
