JOKE: Lost in Translation

A young Swedish-American couple had the same last name. At the marriage license bureau, the clerk began to fill out the license form. "Your name?" he asked the prospective bridegroom. "Ole Yohanson."

"And your name?" he asked the prospective bride. "Hilda Yohanson."

"Any relation?" asked the clerk.

"Yust vunce," blushed Hilda. "Ve yust couldn't vait any longer!"

GOT CAPTION? 6/12

GOT CAPTION? 6/12 v. 2.0

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JOKE: EXCUSES FOR CALLING IN SICK

* The voices in my head told me to clean all the guns today.

* When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the crapper, but I feel good about it.

* I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?

* The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

* I prefer to remain an enigma.

* My mother-in-law has come back as one of the undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

* I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

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JOKE: GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

"I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says. "What's the bad news," asked the patient?

"The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live."

The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?"

The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?" The patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, "I'm doing her."

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