The Post Office had to recall their lawyer stamps; people couldn't tell which side to spit on!
How do attorneys sleep? First they lie on one side and then they lie on the other!
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
If a lawyer and a Congressman were drowning and you could save only one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? Your honor!
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners!
What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities!
What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing; there are some things even a pig won't do!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer has frequent flyer miles and removable wing tips!
What do you have when you have a hundred lawyers buried in sand up to their chins? A shortage of sand!