Maury and Pauly were in the bar again, and Pauly was relating his quandary: "I don't know what decision I should make. I'm currently being pursued by a 23 year old aspiring model who hasn't got a dime to her name and also by a 63-year-old widow with bazillions of dollars."
"Hmmm," said Maury. "In your place, I wouldn't hesitate a second. With your age and looks, it's obvious that you're never again in your lifetime going to get the attention of a 23-year-old, even if she is broke and only an aspiring model. What counts is youth and beauty. In your place, I'd send the old bat off and then set up housekeeping with the beauty."
"You're right!" says Pauly. "It's just amazing how friends can see the situation so clearly and offer such good advice."
"No problem," says Maury, "but could you give me that widow's name and number?"