"Oh Donald!" she wrote back. "How do you manage to put up with those awful noisy Americans?"
Donald wrote back, "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I spend every evening here in my room, quietly playing my bagpipes!"
Two Scots, Archie and Jock, were discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding over a couple o' pints. "Och, it's gonna be grand," said Jock. "Everything's organized already: the flowers, the church, the cards, the reception, the rings, the minister, even my stag night." Archie nodded approval. Jock continued, "I even bought a new kilt fer the wedding."
"A kilt?" exclaimed Archie, "That's braw. You'll look purty smart in that! And what's the tartan?"
"Och," replied Jock, "She'll probably wear white!"