A man decided to have a facelift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"Actually, I'm 47," says the man, feeling really happy. He goes into a McDonald's for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
"Oh, you look about 29."
"Actually, I'm 47." Now he feels really good. Standing at the bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I'm 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, we had a sure way of telling a man's age. If you'll let me put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for a few minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." Since no one was around, the man thought, "what the hell?" and allowed her to have her way.
The old lady smiled and in a few minutes said, "You're 47."
The man was stunned. "Amazing! How did you do that?"
The old lady smiled. "I was in line behind you at McDonald's!"