Thomas and his dog entered a bar. The bartender said, "No dogs allowed."
Thomas replied, "But, sir. Rover is a talking dog."
The skeptical bartender said, "Prove it and he can stay."
Thomas said to the dog, "Rover, tell him what you want to drink." Sure enough, Rover clearly said, "Gimme a beer."
The bartender said, "No way! You're a ventriloquist."
Thomas responded, "If you don't believe me, how about if I go to the bathroom and you can ask him yourself."
So he did and the bartender asked, "Well? What'll ya have?"
Rover clearly said, "Gimme a beer."
The bartender was still skeptical, so he pulled a ten-dollar bill from the register and told Rover, "This is yours if you go to the bar across the street and say the same thing."
When Thomas came out of the bathroom, he asked, "Where's my dog?!"
The bartender said, "I sent him across the street to another bar."
Furious, Thomas ran out of the bar, and found Rover out on the curb, banging a sexy poodle. Thomas shouted, "Rover! Rover? What are you doing? You've never done this before!"
And Rover said, "I've never had ten bucks before!"