A Jewish grandmother was giving directions to her grandson, who, along with his wife, was coming to visit her. "Come to the front door of Building 14. There's a big panel beside the front door. With your elbow, push button 311. I'll buzz you in. Once you're inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and use your elbow to push 3. Get out on 3 and Apartment 311 is on your left. Ring my doorbell with your elbow."
He was confused. "Grandma, that sounds easy enough, but why should I press all those buttons with my elbow?
She snapped back, "What, are you coming empty-handed?!"