Joe and John were twin brothers. John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a little old lady met Joe on the street and mistook him for John. "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe replied, "Oh, not really. The fact is: I'm glad to be rid of her. She was getting old and rotten. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always taking on water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when I loaned her to four young roughnecks who wanted her for a good time. I warned 'em that she weren't no good, but they decided to have a go with her anyways. You know that those damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time? It was just too much for the old girl and, while they were trying to get into their various positions, she split right up the middle!"
The old woman fainted.