Grope discounts available.
Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.
If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.
Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.
Wanna fly? Drop your fly.
We are now free to move about your pants.
We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.
It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
When in doubt, we make you whip it out.
TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
You were a virgin.
We handle more packages than the USPS.
The TSA isn't silly, they just want to inspect your willy.
Stroke of the hand, law of the land.
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.
Let your fingers do the Walking.
Turn your head to the side and Cough.
Reach out and touch someone.
Can you feel me now?
When we're done with you, you'll need a cigarette.