What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken!
A young police recruit was asked during his final exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He answered with a smile, "Call for backup!"
Cleaning her teenage son's room, a woman discovers a masochistic porn magazine. She freaks out and calls her husband to ask what she should do. "Well, I'm not exactly sure," says the husband, "but for God's sake, don't spank him!"
Mr. Larsen's new secretary was young, sweet, and very polite. One day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. She didn't want to embarrass him, so she waited until she was leaving his office before saying, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open." The remark confused him until he happened to look down and see his open zipper. He decided to have some fun. Calling her in, he asked, "Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?" Miss Jones smiled demurely. "Why no, sir. But I did see a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags!"