ELVIS AND MICHAEL JACKSON ARE ALIVE!!!!!

AND THEY'RE LIVING TOGETHER IN MISSISSIPPI

FOR SALE BY OWNER

ONE USELESS

%$#^@^%@!!^&$^#@ CAT

Why Don't We Do It In The Road? Two Mainiacs do!

AUGUST 28--Two young lovebirds are facing indecent conduct charges after a cop spotted them having sex "in full view" of motorists and pedestrians traveling on a Maine street. The exhibitionists, Faith Erman, 19, and Joseph Lattari, 20, explained to police that they had been at Erman's home last Saturday morning, but "decided to leave the apartment so that they could find a place to have sex without bothering other people at the apartment." The duo, pictured at right, settled on a spot adjacent to College Avenue, according to the below Orono Police Department report. That's where a cop discovered the naked duo at 5:45 AM (Erman was said to be on all fours "straddling" Lattari, who "was lying on his back on the ground"). "While they were putting their clothes on they repeatedly apologized for their actions," an Orono cop noted.

DOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Understanding Automatic Door FAIL - Funny bloopers are a click away

a treat kiddies..a treat

and he does this with but 3 strings..I suspect he learned to play a 3 string guitar out of necessity

life 100 years ago

1909 Ford Model R

Show this to your children and/or grandchildren THE YEAR 1909 This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1909. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 : ************ ********* ********* ****** The average life expectancy was 47 years. Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub. Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles Of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour. The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year . A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME . Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. ' Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo. Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from Entering into their country for any reason. Five leading causes of death were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke The American flag had 45 stars. The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!! Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea Hadn't been invented yet. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health' ( Shocking? DUH! ) Eighteen percent of households had at least One full-time servant or domestic help. There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. ! I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself. From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds! Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years. IT STAGGERS THE MIND

Cheating husband punished publicly

Shame can be a powerful punishment. Just ask the guy who had to stand on the corner in Tysons Corner, Va., Wednesday morning.

You know, the guy wearing the sign that said, "I CHEATED. THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT."

He told a passerby that he cheated on his wife -- and she found evidence of it on his cell phone. So the wife doled out a rather creative punishment: He had to stand at the intersection during morning rush, wearing the handmade sign.

People reported seeing him as early as 9 a.m., and his presence was discussed on several of D.C.'s morning radio shows. A little before 11 a.m., his wife texted him and said he'd been out there long enough. He removed the sign and skedaddled.

Leesburg Pike in Tysons Corner is one of the most traffic-clogged arteries in the area, making for maximum viewing pleasure.

Tongueless man arrested in emergency room after rape victim bites back

MURRIETA, Calif - A Southern California man will stand trial in the rapes of four women, including one alleged victim who authorities say bit off the tongue of her attacker. The Riverside County District Attorney's Office said Monday that a judge in Murrieta ordered Ronald Douglas McGowan, 32, to trial after a preliminary hearing on 12 felony counts, including rape, forcible rape, assault with a deadly weapon and assault causing serious bodily injury. Prosecutors say one of the victims bit off part of McGowan's tongue in self-defense during a June 5 rape at her apartment. McGowan, of West Covina, was arrested at an emergency room where he went for treatment. His tongue could not be reattached.

Best Band Ever? Maybe!

Willie & the Poor Boys Bill Wyman, Andy Fairweather-low, Charlie Watts, Chris Rea , Jimmy Page, Paul Rogers Kenny Jones, Geraint Watkins, Rony Wood, Ringo Starr, George Harrison, etc

joke #2 LOL

Did you hear the one about the guy who was visiting the zoo? After looking at the various exhibits, he ended up at the gorilla cage. Interestingly, every time he made a move..no matter what he did..the gorilla would imitate him exactly. He'd scratch his head...the great ape would do like-wise. He'd screech..the gorilla would screech too. Then scratched his eye..the gorilla went beserk. It broke out of it's cage and nearly beat him to death before zoo personnel could capture and subdue the beast.
Later at the hospital as he was recovering from his injuries he was visited by the head zookeeper.
The zookeeper inquired, "what did you do to make the gorilla so angry?"
"I don't know" replied the man. "I was just doing different things and the gorilla was imitating my every move until I scratched my eye like this" and the man pulled his lower eyelid down, as if to scratch it.
"Ohhhh my God", the zookeeper said. "That's f**k you in gorilla talk."
The zookeeper departed and the man plotted his revenge on the gorilla. The next day he went to a nearby deli and bought a huge roll of sandwich salami and a big knife.
He returned to the gorilla cage. He dupicated all of his previous manuevers. Each time the gorilla copied his move to the letter. Now was the time to show that gorilla who's smarter, the man thought. With that he stuck the giant salami into his pants, as if it was his very own salami and began to whack at it with the big knife.
He looked over at the gorilla, hoping to sense some anger from the gorilla. Alas, all he saw was the gorilla pulling at his lower eyelid.