►WHIRLED GNUS◄

Saturday, September 12, 2009

INDIA: COMPUTER TECH CENTER OF THE WORLD

THIS IS INDIA . IT'S WHERE YOU CALL WHEN YOU
HAVE A TECHNICAL PROBLEM WITH YOUR COMPUTER.

Quiz...Where's That Landmark?

Where's That Landmark?

Score: 77% (10 out of 13)

How's your knowledge of landmarks of the world? Click "where's the landmark"

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Good bye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
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A Bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big OSTRICH behind him, and as he sits, a small CAT jumps up on the stool beside him. The barman comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity, and says, "What'll it be?"
The man says," I'll have a pint", and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have a pint as well" says the ostrich.
Bloke looks at the cat, and says "I suppose you want a drink too." "The cat replies, "I'll have a half, but I ain't fookin' payin'!"
So the barman pulls two and a half pints, and says "That'll be three pounds forty, please." The man reaches into his pocket, feels around, and, to the barman's surprise, pulls out exactly the three-forty in change. A while later, the same thing happens, and the man pulls the exact amount out of the same pocket.
The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the same bar. "I'll have a pint," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich, and the cat orders up a half..."But I ain't fookin' payin'!" Repeat of yesterday. The bloke pays each time with the exact amount from his pocket. This becomes almost a regular routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again. "The same?" asks the barman. "Well", says the man, "it's close to last orders. I'll have a large scotch." He turns to the ostrich enquiringly. The bird says, "I'll have a large scotch as well." The cat says, "I'll have a small scotch... but I ain't fookin' payin'!"
The barman rings up the drinks and turns, with a sly grin, "that'll be seven pounds twenty, please." To his amazement, the man pulls the exact seven & twenty out of his pocket. As the trio are finishing their drinks, the barman can contain his curiosity no longer. "Excuse me, sir, but before you leave there's something I must know... how do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket...every time?"
"Well", says the man, "it's a long story. But basically, several years ago I took care of an old lady well into her nineties, and when she died, she left me her old house. Nothing special, but as I was cleaning out the attic, I found an old lamp, and when I rubbed it, this genie appeared and offered me two wishes." "That's fantastic", says the barkeep, "What did you wish for?"
"Well, if I ever need to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right money will always be there." "That's brilliant" says the barman, "most people would wish for a million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live." "That's right, whether its a quart of milk or even a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there. The best thing I ever did!" As he turns to go, the barman calls him back and says, "One last thing, sir... err, your friends there... we don't get many cats or ostriches drinkin' in 'ere...?" The man looks glum. "Yes, I know."
"That's probably the worst thing I ever did, but I'm stuck with 'em. You see, for my second wish from the genie, I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
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A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future.
One day, he made three predictions: "One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die."
Sure enough, a year later the young boy died.
The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up his wife with a million dollars in life insurance. A year later she died.
The father collected the million dollar insurance benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own death, went on a 364-day binge...Fast cars, faster women, exotic vacations, and flings with supermodels.
His timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie.
At midnight, he toasted himself, "What a way to go," and slipped off into what he assumed would be his big sleep.
To his amazement, he woke up the next morning. He had cheated death! He was invincible!
Then the exotic dancer with whom he'd spent the night broke the news. "Honey, better come quick, the pool boy's dead.

Friday, September 11, 2009

the Word for Friday

POPPYCOCK

Nonsense, rubbish.

It’s a fine-sounding expletive, but hardly heard on anybody’s lips these days, and with a dated feel. It feels very English: think of elderly ex-Indian-Army colonels in retirement in Tunbridge Wells exploding in wrath over some supposed mismanagement of the country’s affairs and writing disgusted letters to The Timesabout it. And most of the citations for it in the Oxford English Dictionary are from British sources.

But, as the OED reminds us, the word is actually American in origin, first turning up there about 1852. The OED is firm in dismissing one often-heard view of its origin, from the Dutch word pappekak for soft faeces. It says firmly “no such word appears to be attested in Dutch” but points to the very similar word poppekak, which appears only in the old set phrase zo fijn als gemalen poppekak, meaning to show excessive religious zeal, but which literally means “as fine as powdered doll shit”. The word was presumably taken to the USA by Dutch settlers; the scatological associations were lost when the word moved into the English-language community.

The first half of the word is the Dutch pop for a doll, which may be related to our term of endearment, poppet; the second half is essentially the same as the old English cack for excrement; the verb form of this word is older than the noun, and has been recorded as far back as the fifteenth century.

Despite some uninformed speculation, there’s no link with the vulgar meaning of cock. Nor is it linked to the sense of cock for rubbish (as in phrases like that’s a load of old cock), as that’s a shortened form of cock and bull story, which comes from a fable concerning a bull and a cockerel

When a street sign says, "Muff Road", someone is bound to snatch it

New Zealand

Council engineers have been asked to come up with ways to ensure South Canterbury's Muff Road sign stays put.

The sign, in rural Orari north of Timaru, has in the past been a tempting target for thieves, and a local resident has campaigned to have the road name changed altogether.

But the Temuka and Geraldine community boards recently voted to keep the name, and Timaru district councillors backed that decision at a meeting yesterday, the Timaru Herald reported.

Engineers have been asked to come up with alternative signpost options to ensure the sign stays where it should,

Muff Rd was named after an early settler in the district Englishman Sam Muff and descendants who have retained the name have campaigned to ensure it remains.

Muff Rd resident Roger Payne has complained about the sign going missing all the time and said it made navigating the area difficult for visitors.

Funny Goat Imitates Jerry Lewis

this is a funny video..if you've ever heard Jerry Lewis, the goat sounds as if he's imitating Jerry Lewis

please leave a comment and rating here in my new Youtube channel, thank you..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwGwG5a7B2k

Handcuff Keys Worn On a Necklace..Worth 5 Years in the Slammer?

For wearing handcuff keys on a necklace draped around his neck, a homeless Miami Beach man could face years in prison.

Prosecutors on Tuesday formally charged Michael Gonzalez, 22, with disorderly intoxication, marijuana possession and two counts of possession of a concealed handcuff key -- a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

``It's an actual felony,'' prosecutor Barbara Teresa Govea explained to Miami-Dade Circuit Judge John Thornton, who questioned the charge.

``There's got to be some kind of constitutional violation in there somewhere,'' Assistant Public Defender Michelle Prescott grumbled to the court.

Actually, the Florida Legislature passed the law after the 1998 murders of two Tampa deputies and a state trooper. Hank Earl Carr shot and killed them after he escaped his cuffs using a universal handcuff key hidden on a necklace.

Gonzalez was arrested Aug. 16 after Miami Beach police said he was harassing women on the South Beach sand. In a report, Officer Errol Vidal wrote that he found a small amount of marijuana in the man's pocket and ``two handcuff keys concealed under his shirt on a necklace.''

Also under Gonzalez's shirt: a tattoo on his right shoulder, with the word ``anarchy'' and shooting flames.