Woman Banned From Drinking in Two Countries

Meet Laura Hall - the first person banned from buying or drinking alcohol anywhere in England and Wales.

The 20-year-old has been issued with an order barring her from entering any pub, club, off-licence or bar for the next two years.

Hall is also banned from buying alcohol at any other establishment or shop, carrying it in an unsealed container or drinking it in a public place.

Police applied to magistrates after Hall was convicted of breaching an Anti-Social Behaviour Order - known as an Asbo - imposed for unspecified incidents.

She was convicted of a series of public order offences and flouted bans from pubs and clubs through a local scheme in her home town of Bromsgrove, Worcestershire.

Her ban comes as a study found that female binge-drinking had almost doubled in the past decade in the UK.

According to government statistics, the number of women involved in alcohol-related crime rose 30 per cent between 2005 and 2007.

Kidderminster Magistrates' Court was told Hall faced a �2500 ($4127) fine if she breaks the conditions of the order.

"There have been some drinking ban orders issued already but this is the first to be issued on a nationwide basis," Sergeant David Roberts said.

"It bans Laura from drinking or buying alcohol in any licensed premises across England and Wales. This will protect the public from Laura's behaviour."

Officers applied for the order rather than another Asbo because Hall would be at risk of prison if she breached it again.

"We want to rehabilitate her rather than send her to jail," Sgt Roberts said.

Under the terms of the order, Hall must attend an approved alcohol misuse course.

Since their introduction in September, police and local authorities can ask magistrates to impose the orders on anyone responsible for alcohol-fuelled crime or anti-social behaviour to stop them drinking or entering licensed premises.

They cannot be issued to anyone with mental health problems or alcoholics.

But Institute of Alcohol Studies spokeswoman Rachel Seabrook said: "I think most of the disorder problems we see around alcohol reflect a lack of police enforcement powers and policing laws.

"I am not opposed in principle but I do have doubts about whether it's a realistic thing to enforce. How can a police officer in Wales know whether this women has been banned if she turns up in his town?"

Rooster changes sex and starts laying eggs

UN scientists are to study a rooster which changed sex after a fox raid on his enclosure wiped out all his hens.

Gianni's Italian owners say he started life as a red-blooded rooster on his farm in Tuscany.

But within days of the fox raid, 'he' was laying eggs and trying to hatch them as he brooded over his new life in the hen house.

Now scientists at UN's Farm and Agriculture Organisation are to study the bird's DNA to see what made him change. "It may be a primitive species survival gene. With all the females gone he could only ensure the future of his line by becoming female," said one expert.

JOKE: A bakery owner hires a young female clerk

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the
elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?"

"No," croaked the old man, "but it's quivering quite a bit"

Tattoo Regrets -- Sweet Yolanda

I bet you, like everyone else, were young once and considered getting a tattoo.

When I was 17, I decided to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name on the inside of my lower lip. I'm the first to admit that it wasn't the brightest idea. I was young, na�ve and didn't think of the consequences.

Two months later, my girlfriend and I separated for "mutual reasons." (Of course, we all know she dumped me.)

After all my friends found out that she broke it off with me, they made it a point to make fun of how big of an idiot I was. But I soon realized an even bigger problem: How do I explain this to my next girlfriend?

I've seriously considered laser surgery, but my current funds don't support such a decision.

Unless you plan on marrying your significant other, I would strongly suggest NOT getting her name tattooed anywhere on your body. Always keep in mind that tattoos are permanent, except for those lucky few who have some extra moolah.

JOKE: A man walked into a bar

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.

He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."

The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

RIVERDANCE GOAT

Bikini Girl Reposing at the Pool..Sweet But a Bitch!

Quadruplets choose same college

The vote is unanimous.

A set of quadruplets from New York have decided to attend the same college. Grace, Erin, Bobby and Danny Mele will attend Hartwick College in Oneonta, N.Y., in the fall.

Grace Mele was the holdout. She was concerned about spending her college years known as "one of the quadruplets."

But the 17-year-old from Setauket (seh-TAWK'-keht) on Long Island decided it would be "traumatic" to split up the close-knit siblings. Says Grace: "We're going to savor these next few years together."

Their dad, Robert Mele, cried with happiness at the news.

Or was it sticker shock?

Actually, scholarships and sibling discounts have greatly reduced the family's upcoming bill _ to about $74,000 a year.

Cat and pigeon are best friends

Putting the cat among the pigeons is not normally an affectionate affair, but in Wainoni, New Zealand, an unlikely bond has formed between a pair of natural enemies. Homer, the pigeon, and Henry the cat, are living proof that differences can be put aside, since the pair each adopted their owners, Sandra and Murray Campbell.

"They eat together and play fight together. The pigeon flaps its wings and the cat puts its paws up. Homer even sits on the cat's back and when the cat stalks sparrows on the front lawn, old ding-dong pigeon follows behind to watch,'' Mrs Campbell said.

Henry arrived as a stray at the Campbells a year ago. Six months later, Homer landed. "My daughter was visiting from Australia and we were sitting here looking out the door when my daughter goes `Oh my God there's a pigeon with Henry!'

"We thought it was going to have its head bitten off. But no, they got along fine." The pair have been found sleeping on a bed together although Henry is more likely to be found in the bird house Mr Campbell built for Homer.

Where the pair came from remains a mystery, but the Campbells speculate the pair may have come from the same home originally. "We'd love to know but we're quite attached to them now."

Homer doesn't stick around at night, disappearing about 6 pm each evening. "But he's back the next morning about 6.30am coo-ing and carrying on," Mrs Campbell said.

JOKE: A farmer was selling his peaches door to door

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30 something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, 'Would you like to buy some peaches?'

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, 'Are they as firm as these?' He nodded his head and said, 'Yes ma'am,' and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, 'Are they nice and pink like this?' The farmer said, Yes,' and another tear came
from the other eye..

She unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, 'Are they as fuzzy as this?' He again said, 'Yes,' and broke down crying. She asked, 'Why on earth are you crying?'

Drying his eyes he replied, ''The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get
screwed out of my peaches.