Michael Jackson scarecrows get birds to beat it

A Michael Jackson fan from Taiwan creates scarecrows in memory of the King of Pop. Michael Jackson has been immortalized in photographs, figurines, wax sculptures, and now - scarecrows. A Taiwanese salesman has created scarecrows resembling the King of Pop to chase away birds in his parents' fields in central Taiwan's Changhua County.

He came upon the idea with a hint of humour, in reference to one of Michael Jackson's trademark moves. "During harvest, my dad would go to the fields every day to chase away the birds. And I thought, since Michael is good at 'grabbing his bird,' I'd invite Michael to grab birds in our fields," Lee Ping-hsing said.

Lee, who likes to imitate Jackson's style of dancing, said he was inspired by his idol to create his artworks. He uses a wooden skeleton for the body, and a sponge for the face, then dresses up the scarecrow with Michael Jackson-style costumes, including the famous white sequined glove. To make each scarecrow unique, the 30-year-old milk powder salesman poses his scarecrows to resemble the music icon's signature moves, as in "Thriller" for example.

Some of Lee's family do not approve of the macabre scarecrows. "I was yelled at by my grandpa. He said his spirit could come back and haunt us, but I think it would be nice if Michael could come over," Lee said. Lee has already completed two Jackson scarecrows, and is currently working on a third one. He also painted an image of his idol on the wall of his house.

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Judge sends lawyer to jail for refusing to say Pledge of Allegiance

TUPELO - Danny Lampley's clients usually are the ones ordered to the Lee County Jail.

Wednesday, Chancellor Talmadge Littlejohn sent the 49-year-old Oxford attorney there for refusing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in court.

Littlejohn urged Lampley to reconsider repeating the Pledge, as every other person in the judge's courtroom did as the day's proceedings began.

"This morning, that was the last thing on my mind," Lampley said late in the day after a child-support hearing.

At 10 a.m., Lampley was in jail garb. By 2:30 p.m., Littlejohn ordered his release and return to the Lee County Justice Center to continue their business.

After the hearing, Littlejohn's assistant said the judge had no comment on the matter.

Lampley said he was worried the judge would send him back to jail.

Simply put, the attorney said he and the judge have a "different point of view" about things, like loyalty oaths and the pledge.

"I have a lot of respect for him," Lampley said, "I'm just not going to back off on this.

"It's a problem, but it's for the judge and me to work out."

Wednesday's incident wasn't the first time Lampley had crossed the judge. Lampley said he was reprimanded by Littlejohn in June in a Corinth proceeding.

"I don't have to say it because I'm an American," he said about the 31-word pledge. "I hope he's not too angry with me."

David Hudson Jr., a scholar at the First Amendment Center at Vanderbilt University, said forcing Lampley to repeat the pledge is clearly a violation of his free-speech rights.

"I've never heard of a judge jailing a lawyer over this," he said Wednesday.

Lampley is no stranger to controversy. Years ago, he represented a Pontotoc woman who objected to student-led intercom prayer and Bible history classes taught at North Pontotoc Attendance Center. U.S. District Judge Neal Biggers agreed the activities were unconstitutional.

JOKE: The Proctologist

Proctologist; from the Greek meaning "pain in the ass."

Did you ever wonder who was the first proctologist? My research shows it was Dr. Ben Dover, who was fed up with mainstream medicine and wanted to boldly go where no one had gone before, "I think I'll devote my life to making people as uncomfortable as possible... since dentistry is taken, I'll start at the other end."

Have you ever gone to a party and been introduced to a doctor. After a hardy handshake, you discover he's a proctologist. Even wash-ing your hands 6 times, you still find yourself only eating with your left hand. He is the one doctor you never ask for free advice, "Doc, I've got this thing right here, can you take a look at it? But he's one person who's seen more assholes than you'd find at a political convention.

Throughout the ages, proctologists have been the butt of many jokes; butt I would not stoop to that level here. I have given a considerable number of minutes to formulating ideas to improve people's concept of these doctors of the down under.

> In order for a proctologist to receive their medical certification, their hand must fit in a size one glove, and they must have their fingernails removed.

> The proctologist's genitals shall literally be placed in the hands of the patient. At the first sign of discomfort, the patient may exert an equal pressure producing a similar discomfort.

> Proctologist's advertising shall NOT include phrases like:

"Let our fingers do the walking."

"We'll bend over backwards for you."

"Please, take my seat."

"We give 'Moon over Miami' a hole new meaning."

"It looks like the End."

> Doctors will not be allowed to use wise cracks or ice breakers like:

"I can't place my finger on it, butt you look familiar."

"Don't have a seat, I'll be right with you."

"Quick, nurse! Get the camera! They'll never believe THIS one!"

"Yes, I see a family resemblance."

"Hmmmm, looks like you're a quart low."

"The first three feet might be a bit uncomfortable; after that..."

"Out of K-Y Jelly? Oh well, let's do a dry run."

"I'm putting you on a low-bean diet."

"Nurse, give me a number 2 sandpaper glove."

"How long have you had this crack in your butt?"

"I see you had pizza last night."

"When was the last time you had a lube and oil change?"

"Ah, you must be gay."

"Nurse, come here. Ya want to feel something really weird?"

"Ooops, I think I lost my watch."

"I've never seen stalagmites growing in one before!!"

"If you think that was a pain in the ass, wait till you get my bill."

"Gee, I hope I can get this out."

"When was the last time you had your barnacles scraped?"

"Nurse! Who let this asshole in my office?"

�� Got Caption ?? 10/7

Woman locked in used-car lot forced to deal with vicious guard dogs

A 56-year-old woman who reportedly found herself inadvertently locked in a used car lot in North Philadelphia Tuesday afternoon climbed atop of a car to seek refuge from two guard dogs.

She dialed 911, but when help did not come she called 6ABC, saying she had been trapped for 25 minutes.

The TV crew got there before police did and taped footage of McCall sitting atop a car as well as the snarling guard dogs at the lot on the 1700 block of North Front Street.

Eventually, SEPTA Police Officer Brian Schwenger arrived and got McCall out through a break in the fence while three passersby distracted the dogs, 6ABC said.

McCall told the TV crew that when she saw she had been locked in "I just started backing up and I tried to be calm, cause I have had a heart attack once before."

She said the dogs ran after her and she got on top of the car, using her cane to keep the dogs away.

"I thought I was going to die. I thought they were going to tear me to shreds . . . I'm scared of dogs," 6ABC quoted McCall as saying.

The station reported this morning that McCall is in stable condition at Episcopal Hospital where she was admitted for observation.

No word yet on why it took so long for help to arrive.

Hyatt Hoel guest claims male hotel worker wore her heels, underwear

If you don't normally lock your luggage before leaving a hotel room, you might want to after reading this.

Dayanara Fernandez of Los Angeles says that when she walked into her room at the Hyatt in Deerfield this summer, she was alarmed to discover a strange man wearing some of her clothes, according to a complaint filed with the Deerfield police.

Specifically, the man had on one of her skirts and a pair of her high-heel shoes, along with a Hyatt shirt, according to a lawsuit Fernandez filed Monday. He didn't close the bathroom door entirely and Fernandez noticed that the man also was wearing her underwear, the suit says.

After changing his clothes, the man handed her various items of clothing, including several pairs of her underwear, according to the suit, filed in Los Angeles County Court.

Fernandez, 36, notified hotel management, who called police. The man was charged with disorderly conduct and later pleaded guilty to the charge and was assessed a fine and court costs totaling $187, according to Lake County court records.

The suit says Fernandez was in town for a wedding when the June 6 incident occurred.

Fernandez sued the Chicago-based hotel chain for negligence of hiring, supervision and/or training; invasion of privacy; and emotional distress. Her lawyer, Stephanie Sperber, said she tried to resolve Fernandez's claim without going to court. But she said Hyatt was unwilling to acknowledge her client's emotional distress.

A Hyatt spokesman said the company could not comment on the suit because it had not seen the complaint.

Squirrel battles with Slinky on bird feeder

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